SIX MONTHS ESCAPE/PREP 1
( Six Months To Escaping The Rat Race And Preparing For The Apocalypse Cash On The Barrelhead )
If you tapped your heals together three times and wished upon a falling star and promised Lucifer the eternal soul of both the ex-wife and Obammy, you would really pretty please love to accomplish three goals. No debt, no rent or mortgage and oh by the way for when the oil runs out which despite the idiotic blathering’s of Beck and other eternally optimistic brain flatliners ( Optimist: my glass is half full. Pessimist: my glass is half empty. Realist: who pissed in my glass? ) fracking oil has a shelf life in years equating to the sales volume of this booklet and will be in terminal decline before we get out of the teens ( that is, 2000’s, not 2001’s ) and civilization will take a big old squishy crap which will make Germany in the Thirty Years War with countryside decimation and famine and plague look like Hurricane Katrina so it would be super swell to have five years of supplies stocked up for the family to weather that storm as well. Most of the time, anyone hearing you spouting such nonsense would scoff at your sad and pathetic Walter Mitty loose grasp on reality and slap you upside the head with whatever blunt instrument was handy and patiently explain to you that you needed to have a combined income of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year, a rich uncle that had died and a state lottery winning ticket to ever hope of having the suburban house, the three cars, the super concrete mountaintop Fortress Of Doom and the Impenetrable Armored Escape Pod all paid off without debt. But I’m a super swell guy and I’d like to see a few more rednecks survive the collapse so that I’m not surrounded by rich asswhores sipping sherry and fondling their semi-automatic carbines as their wives scurry about looking for their oracle in the wilderness to lead them to the post-apocalypse hairdressers using alternate energy and herbal elixirs.
You CAN do anything ( and not just if you are the Lizard King ) but the reason most folks won’t is that it always has a price. And EVERY problem has an easy solution, but most folks lard that up with excuses because they think the solution is worse than the problem. They can’t see why they, the most important person in the whole wide world, needs to give up one iota of creature comfort or surrender one bauble of peacock feather status symbol. To contemplate such is an outrage! Well, humans have evolved into a very adaptable fellow, surviving-sudden-catastrophes wise. If you truly, honestly believe a civilization collapse is coming and you aren’t just playing at this thing as a hobby, you need to adapt the new set of tools for an unprecedented set of circumstances ALREADY unfolding about you. I wish I could believe that we will just see another fake collapse like the 1970’s- but then, that was an economic collapse, not a civilization collapse. Once you discount the magical Forever Fracking Myth, there is absolutely nothing that will feed the global population ( to say nothing of powering it ) and we WILL collapse as easy as the Greek or Roman empires did as their grain imports failed. The primary tool you will need is frugality and a new attitude to do what it takes, not what you desire to do.
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