Friday, July 18, 2014

cheesecloth


CHEESECLOTH

Cheesecloth is yet another of those neat and cheap items you really want a lot of on hand for the Apocalypse.  I’m not sure exactly what it does in the kitchen as far as straining gravy or other bizarre crap like that because I’m a manly man who only uses that room to char meat and grunt wildly as I tear off chunks of dead animal with my teeth and hands.  Well, I really like gravy.  I’ve tried to make it on occasion because if there is one thing I like more than dead roasted critters it is bubbling pools of said animals fat and what better way to put a civilized face on consuming fat than in gravy?  I never seemed to get the hang of it though which is a little embarrassing because it is just fat and flour and water.  So maybe I need to learn all about cheesecloth and how to use it in the kitchen.  But that will just have to learn to wait for another time because we have far more important fish to fry here.  As I’m grumbling the other day about stinkin French Press’s and how that can’t last a damn year before I fumble one and break it and glass shatters everywhere and a tiny voice in the back of my mind is screaming, “You giant fool with perfect hair, your minion warned you about how he sliced up his hand on one of the damn things and had to go to the hospital but you wouldn’t listen to him oh no because you are a friggin know it all and look how this glass just fairly exploded with malefic intent and almost injured you and or the cats who might have stepped on one of the shards and as their very life force was ebbing from them they would have looked up at you with wounded pleading eyes and gave one pathetic meow and expired and your dreams would have been haunted by the majestic creatures you destroyed!”, I’m thinking on how I now need a back-up to the re-useable coffee filters I’m using with the vacuum thermos’s to make coffee now.  Now that I have finally hastened to listen to the minions voice before someone is seriously hurt.  And guess what will work swimmingly as a filter in the event that the three mesh ones I have ever all break, are stolen or melted into goo?  That’s right-cheesecloth.

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You can also use the stuff to pre-filter water before you take your bucket full of rancid river water full of twigs and bugs and floating fish turds and subject your expensive water filter to working overtime.  The better you pre-filter, the longer your filter lasts doing its primary task of getting microbes out of your drinking water.  Need mosquito netting?  Cheesecloth.  We get squeeters every few years or so- whenever the river rises and deposits pools of stagnant water on the banks.  As you can imagine, in a 500 year drought that doesn’t happen every year.  I still have healing dumps all over me from the little whores buzzing, divebombing and eating us.  A single glove of garlic crushed and put in cheesecloth hung by each door kept the little bastards away immediately.  I remember my mother using cheesecloth to dry fruit with.  We had the wooded framed wire screens stacked up and over the top she draped the fabric.  You also drape over your bowl of rising bread to keep out the bugs.  And of course, wrapping cheese.  It was used in aging cheddar cheese primarily, but if you take cheesecloth and put a slight bit of vinegar on it, then wrap the cheese, it should keep mold off of other less dry cheeses also.  Got cheesecloth?

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10 comments:

  1. Lord Bison of hairy renowned, would you be so kind to make a post about the quantities of stuff you recommend for a full blown apocalypse, pretty please ?

    Ideally how many Enfields, ammo, water and food ?
    I'm finishing my preps for WWIII and I want to see if I'm Bison compliant ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cheesecloth wouldn't be the best for straining water -- the weave is too loose. It would let a lot of things go through. You would be better off using a clean sheet or t shirt.

    On a side note, we use pantyhose over our rain barrels to keep bugs, leaves and other stuff out. Tie a knot down by the crotch and cut off the leg portion. Stretch the body part over your rain barrel. Try to get size C or above because skinny girl panty hose don't stretch enough LOL.

    Cheese cloth is great for making and pressing cheese. It is also used to make jelly.

    For mosquito netting, folks should just buy some through your Amazon link. It's fairly cheap. I think the stuff I bought was around $10. Cheese cloth is more expensive than mosquito netting. We have some over all our beds. I sometimes get bats in the house and I can sleep better if I know they won't get me : )

    Regarding gravy, the secret is to mix your cold milk/water with the flour into a slurry before you add it to your hot drippings. My mom use to shake the flour and liquid in a jar along with salt and pepper and then empty it into the pan. I usually just stir with a fork.

    Also, a wire wisk is your friend. Cheap at a thrift store. Use the wisk to stir your gravy and it will keep it from being lumpy.

    Regarding cheese, I have successfully kept the better brands of cheddar (like Tillamook) in my root cellar for 12 months. The temperature ranges from 33 in the winter to 55 in the summer. It got slightly sharper over time. The packaging needs to be shrink wrapped with no pin prick holes. I keep mine in a plastic tote in case of mice.

    Idaho Homesteader

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    Replies
    1. Excellant! I'm thinking it might be gravy night soon.

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  3. Lord Bison, that was the most magnificent run-on sentences I have ever had the pleasure to read in the first paragraph. True Bison writing talent. We are not worthy. I'm serious. Very entertaining. Thanks.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! If I'm renowned for nothing else, I want to be the best ever on run-on sentances. I don't know why. I'm easily amused by my own antics?

      Delete
  4. How many pounds of wheat is recommended for one adult male per year? I have seen several conflicting reports... I am of the opinion that the quantity is simple : MOAR!!!!

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    1. 1 lb a day is 1500 calories=365 pounds a year. Round up to 400. Easy peasy.

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  5. For straining water and as an improvised mosquito netting you might want to get some basic bridal veil fabric (the nylon kind, not the more expensive cotton or silk material). Last time I bought some it was around $1 per yard, and it can be had in widths up to 108" - that size makes a dandy mosquito net for a hammock.

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