Today we take one of those rare breaks from covering only life shattering concepts and high class topics and top of the line subject matter and award winning survivalist journalism and high paying observations and belly flop into the fetid pool of my personal life. Hey, you get what you pay for and always remember and never forget, the more dysfunctional the author the more interesting the reading. First off, let’s just get the most embarrassing out of the way first. I’m calling my premature declaration of Divorce #4. Alas, I held out for over four months- quite an achievement considering the past poor choices I’ve made of potential procreating partners after just a few weeks without a bed warmer. I was all jiggy with the roommate deal, live and let live and what not and then the evil vixen under summer heat pretext let her lady parts all flop out one night and my further resolve lasted a mere few hours. As we’ve been together fifteen years and as we’ve broken up and gotten back together almost as many times, I’m sure this is not the last you’ll be hearing of this.
Getting old blows rabid monkey balls. I’m in terrific shape for my age and probably doing better than a lot of folks ten years younger than I. My heart is invigorated by plenty of bike riding. My whole wheat bread consumption should keep any digestion/elimination issues away. I’ve got great muscle tone from daily lifting multiple tons at work. Rigorous hydration has offset middle age urinary issues. And my hair looks nice. But some crap is beyond your control. In the last few months my eyes have become an issue. I’ve worn glasses for far sightedness for decades but recently I’ve had to do the “hold back and forth to bring print into focus”. And now not only do I need reading glasses ( I refuse to get bi-focals ) for books but when writing as well. So when we went grocery shopping I invested in a tri-pack of glasses, a hard storage case and a string/holder. I’m now fashionably nerdy with the granny glasses neck string on my regular glasses. Drop the regular pair around my neck, don the reading glasses to write/read, place those back in their case when done and put the regular glasses on again. The reason I bring this up is that reading glasses have gone from glass to plastic- and the plastic are NOT anywhere near as good, even at three times the price. Stock up on the glass types if you can.
I want to thank my kindly minion for the last donation, again. You said do something fun with it so I bought three paper survival/self-reliance magazines ( I’ll review one in an upcoming post ). Normally they are too rich for my blood. $8 an issue? I should be able to buy a paperback for that. So, you allowed me to indulge this once. But to more important topics- coffee. Wal-Mart brand “Master Chef” coffee was $5.28 for years. Last month it went to $5.68 or thereabouts. This month- $6.48. No Friggin Way!!! Kroger generic brand “Psst” had debuted at $5.30 and was still low at $5.50. I bought them out, getting eight cans. Stockpile like mad, my minions.
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with the rugrats gone,you can get out of the rabbit hole!ReplyDelete
Dear Mr. Dakin.ReplyDelete
There is a solution to personal problems.
But it will mess up your wonderful oily hair.
However, there is psychological help at the suicide help line.
Couple of young men will arrive at your house in white uniforms and give you a ride to a very comfortable place with all services.
Good luck to you and really "who needs pussy?.
Yeah, I've reached the ripe, old age of 46 and have just started wearing reading glasses. Luckily, my mother knows me and knew that I would never go see a doctor so she has been "accidently" leaving her reading glasses at my house -- 7 pairs worth until I finally got the hint LOL.ReplyDelete
I now have them socked away everywhere for the Zombie apocalypse. Never know when I'll have to remove splinters or do minor surgery and will need to be able to see.
On a side note, any long term fall out from having the step daughter stay with you?
Oh, do NOT get me started. Those slimy scum suckling whores got into my cigarette stash- several years worth at one a day. They NEVER drained the RV grey water tank all the way and putrid fermenting kitchen sink water was left. Trash stashed everywhere, even though I'm abike and they were acar. No good deed goes unpunished. I could go on.Delete
It's really only your fault if you let it happen again.Delete
Preaching to the choirDelete
I got you!
Didn't publish my comment.
Haven't we covered this before? ALL, let me repeat, ALL, comments get published except N-Bombs and libel issues and way too explicit sexual innuendos. Must have been eaten by Blogger. Please try again-I've been expecting Haten comments on my dumbassness.Delete
A spouse should beReplyDelete
1) a roommate -and a compatible one at that.
2) sexually compatible
3) interesting to each other
4) share mutual respect/ forgiveness of flaws.
If you have those three affection will often follow. Unfortunately everyone harps on item 2 and thinks that affection generated by sex will be enough for a long term relationship. It isn't. you have to achieve the other 3 items to last.
And sometimes one of the three items gets out of whack for a while, throwing the others off as well. If everything can adjust back into alignment - even if a different one- then the marriage can continue. If alignment can not return? the marriage is functionally over.
I agree with you, it is just that #2 gets harped on so much because first you need some sex to find out if its good or notDelete