SIX MONTHS ESCAPE/PREP 5 part 2
( Six Months To Escaping The Rat Race And Preparing For The Apocalypse Cash On The Barrelhead )
Junk land is easy anymore. You pays your monies and the nice fellow on the other end does all the paperwork and from then on the only worry is how much the county will raise your property tax ( I’m paying 50% more than when I started nine years ago-luckily it started out VERY small ). Shelter isn’t really too much harder. You start out with a crappy tent from China-Mart if you want a disposable shelter. Those nylon whores aren’t great for much else except keeping the bugs out and the sun off, and for one or two uses before its shoddy construction and materials vomit forth yet another Caveat Emptor warning you will once again ignore. If you don’t want to take a chance wasting a hundred bucks you can always rig up a tarp and some mosquito netting but I would advise all husbands contemplating this to try to pacify the wife immediately with as homey of a temporary abode as possible for your peace of mind. Guys can easily gnaw on half roasted chunks of possum by an open fire and sleep under a sheet of plastic. If you know what is good for you, you will cater to a gals preference to a lack of bugs and dirt and all things that will detract from her sense of order and cleanliness. You might even go whole hog and spend good money on a canvas expedition tent for around a grand ( there used to be a guy selling military surplus tents-like squad and platoon size- online. You might Google that and see ).
Of course, remember that this is for a month or two. Unless you want to keep the tent as a kind of livable square foot doubled. Perhaps throw the kids in the tent during the day, only letting them in the Unibomber Cabin at night to sleep ( less firewood used to keep everyone warm ). The cabin needn’t be much more than a plywood shell. At least at first. I wouldn’t plan on spending too many winters without insulation in the walls. That is just a stupid waste of firewood, energy and effort. Okay, it might be all you can afford. Just beware it coming back to bite you in the ass later. As far as the shack, if I-Supreme Non Mechanical Non Handyman Non Coordinated Moron Of The Universe- can thrash together a stick built shelter, anybody can. Even today, as we clear cut boreal forests from atop melting permafrost to supply Americans with extra-soft toilet paper and disposable plates and napkins, lumber is somewhat affordable. I wouldn’t wait too much longer for a doomed Petro-Dollar to ratchet up the cost though. Buy all your materials soonest. A stack of lumber covered from the rain is a nice tidy savings account that isn’t as vulnerable as paper money in a bank waiting to fail. Figure on about $300 per eight foot cube in stick lumber, plywood and nails.
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I wouldn't piss away any money on a tent for junk land. Just get an old school bus. Even if it doesn't run you can have it towed out to your land for a few hundred bucks.ReplyDelete
Instant cabin, baby!
And if you can't find that, a non-running van probably priced at scrap metal value. Good point-thanks.Delete
Don't let the fact that you have never built anything before put you off. Husband and I had zero construction experience when we built our house. When in doubt put in a few extra nails.ReplyDelete
We also hired a neighbor who had built his own cabin to give us a few pointers but with all the how-to YouTube videos out there, you probably won't need to do that.
If you have the $$, hire a company to put up a metal pole building shell on your property. That's what we did. Use it for your shelter until you get your home built. After the move, you have a nice shop, barn or storage area. Pole buildings don't usually have much (if any) insulation but you can always add some if needed.
Don't forget to check the local zoning rules before you buy your junk land. You want little to no laws so you can build cheap and at your leisure.
I didn't move to Elko for the weather. It was the very liberal zoning along with the employment opportunities.Delete
The only woman who would go along with a junk land existence without complaining would be a gal named Roxxy from a site called Perfect Companion. Yes, she is a sex-bot and costs over a thousand dollars but just think of 'her' as part of your initial purchase price of the land.ReplyDelete
It would be a tough sell to most other ladies. For you, Jim, you could prop her up in the window of your RV with a Lee Enfield while you're away to scare off intruders!
I believe you can choose Roxxy's particulars right down to her toenail paint color. Hell, if she could cook and clean it would cause a catastrophic drop in human procreation. The Perfect (junk-land) Companion! And the only woman who will speak only nice things to you and seek to 'fulfill' you.
I'm only half joking about this. I was astonished to find out about 'her' on the inter-web. I thought only crappy plastic blow-up dolls existed from my one trip to a porn shop 30 years ago. I guess the world is starting to pass me by.
Anatomically correct nether region grip?Delete
Sorry. The site is called True Companion. It is worth checking out.Delete
I'm mostly a conservative Christian asshat (in your words) but even I got an erection at the sight of 'her'.
This could be the future of sex relations. At least until the feminists declare Roxxy a 'person'. Then the rape-laws would apply.
Trust me. Check out True Companion dot com. You will like what you see.
My lovely wife actually loves living in a tent, for months at a time. Yes, she's a rare one. She has two minimums in a tent: no see um screens and a full floor so all the critters can be on the other side of the zippers. Another nice thing is an attached screen room big enough for a couple a chairs. It makes a place for leaving wet and muddy clothes and shoes.ReplyDelete
I don't know why you fellas have such a hard time finding females willing to live in the boonies.ReplyDelete
Within 3 miles of my house, I know of a dozen + females who are living the back to the land lifestyle with their husbands and/or kids.
We all garden, keep house, preserve food by canning or drying, cook from scratch, hunt, etc. Heck, my husband just shoots his deer and I gut it, butcher and cook it for him. And no, we aren't chained to keep us from running away LOL.
The problem is on how you guys sell the primitive living to your spouses. I would recommend using 'Little House on the Prairie' as your selling point as opposed to caveman. Us women are suckers for Little House.
So do your best Charles Ingalls impression and go find yourself a woman!!
My lovely wife thinks of tent living as "Lawrence of Arabia." She's a romantic. I can go with it.Delete
Romantics are great-they ignore the down sideDelete
"Romantics are great-they ignore the down side"Delete
The quote of the century there Jim!
I would also add "so never let them actually be in charge!"
How about this for a cheap shelter? Three garage trusses. Place them 7 foot apart on a treated 2x4 on the ground. Build a wooden deck and cover it with plastic and bury it. 3 trusses = 14 deep by ?? long. The one here is 21x28 using 4 trusses. As time permits... dig underneath the trusses to give it a "basement".ReplyDelete
My taxes went up almost 10%! $2 more... must be an extra fee. County tag you for those extra trailers or the pit, Jim?ReplyDelete
Solar improvements and trees are not counted towards property tax in Nevada.
I'm thinking of driving out next April and spending 3-4 weeks. Plant a few drought hardy trees and maybe drop off some stuff. Sorta like that Patriots book.
Hope to see, and feel free w/drop off. I don't think I'm being zinged for improvements, just the county wanting more.Delete