personal problems

PERSONAL PROBLEMS

Today we take one of those rare breaks from covering only life shattering concepts and high class topics and top of the line subject matter and award winning survivalist journalism and high paying observations and belly flop into the fetid pool of my personal life.  Hey, you get what you pay for and always remember and never forget, the more dysfunctional the author the more interesting the reading.  First off, let’s just get the most embarrassing out of the way first.  I’m calling my premature declaration of Divorce #4.  Alas, I held out for over four months- quite an achievement considering the past poor choices I’ve made of potential procreating partners after just a few weeks without a bed warmer.  I was all jiggy with the roommate deal, live and let live and what not and then the evil vixen under summer heat pretext let her lady parts all flop out one night and my further resolve lasted a mere few hours.  As we’ve been together fifteen years and as we’ve broken up and gotten back together almost as many times, I’m sure this is not the last you’ll be hearing of this. 

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Getting old blows rabid monkey balls.  I’m in terrific shape for my age and probably doing better than a lot of folks ten years younger than I.  My heart is invigorated by plenty of bike riding.  My whole wheat bread consumption should keep any digestion/elimination issues away.  I’ve got great muscle tone from daily lifting multiple tons at work.  Rigorous hydration has offset middle age urinary issues.  And my hair looks nice.  But some crap is beyond your control.  In the last few months my eyes have become an issue.  I’ve worn glasses for far sightedness for decades but recently I’ve had to do the “hold back and forth to bring print into focus”.  And now not only do I need reading glasses ( I refuse to get bi-focals ) for books but when writing as well.  So when we went grocery shopping I invested in a tri-pack of glasses, a hard storage case and a string/holder.  I’m now fashionably nerdy with the granny glasses neck string on my regular glasses.  Drop the regular pair around my neck, don the reading glasses to write/read, place those back in their case when done and put the regular glasses on again.  The reason I bring this up is that reading glasses have gone from glass to plastic- and the plastic are NOT anywhere near as good, even at three times the price.  Stock up on the glass types if you can.

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I want to thank my kindly minion for the last donation, again.  You said do something fun with it so I bought three paper survival/self-reliance magazines ( I’ll review one in an upcoming post ).  Normally they are too rich for my blood.  $8 an issue?  I should be able to buy a paperback for that.  So, you allowed me to indulge this once.  But to more important topics- coffee.  Wal-Mart brand “Master Chef” coffee was $5.28 for years.  Last month it went to $5.68 or thereabouts.  This month- $6.48.  No Friggin Way!!!  Kroger generic brand “Psst” had debuted at $5.30 and was still low at $5.50.  I bought them out, getting eight cans.  Stockpile like mad, my minions. 

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