COLLAPSE HO
Not a collapse prostitute, but ho as
in land ho, in sight. Well, obviously
the collapse has been in the rearview mirror for a bit but everyone keeps
angling the mirror towards the top of the car so they can’t see anything, kind
of like you do when a big bastard of a semi- truck is riding your ass like a $20
Tijuana prostitute ( speaking of ho’s ) at night and you can’t see a damn thing
from the glare, hoping that this is just a replay of the 87 near miss, the Tech
Wreck saved by the housing bubble, the Great Depression saved by placing the US
economy on a wartime footing forever after, the Savings And Loan fiasco that
never amounted to much or any other bankster orchestrated event that by
definition has a crappy ending for everyone but at least not a Mad Max ending
where you are down to your last bullet so you need to start using your back-up
zombie crushing rebar spear. What a beautiful
thing, all those previous collapse scares.
Enrich our economic masters AND inoculate the public to any more
panic. The whole time we are mocking the
commentators, Boy Who Cried Wolf, you suck, mama dresses you funny,
hahaha. So now almost no one wants to
scream This Is It, Puny Earthlings, Prepare To Meet Your Doom. Hey, it never worked out for Marvin The
Martian because Bugs always thwarted him, but he kept trying.
*
Something could come along to kick
the can down the road, but I doubt it.
And I don’t care about being wrong.
You panic every time, light a fire under your own ass to ratchet up your
preps, and even after ten false starts, when the sucker does blow you are
golden. Well, no guarantees. You could be well stocked and still die by
random accident or perverted fates the first day. But at least you’ve given yourself a chance
to unscrew the top off your bottle of adult beverage, raise a glass to the
multiples of dumbasses, and toast to their demise. It is the journey that is more important
anyway. I would start any extra preps
you desire by cutting things down to the bone.
Screw your night vision, hump that luxury sniper battle rifle, and stick
that radiation meter up your rectum. All
that is frosting on a cake of middle class ambitions. Needs get real simple real fast after the
last shipment of toys from China stops.
You need food, water, shelter and protection. And you need it yesterday. Shelter is easily improvised- at the most lay
in some heavy duty plastic sheeting.
Protection is as simple as a $125 shotgun or a $300 hunting rifle-and
both use two-bits a round ammo. For
food, stockpile more grains than you think you need ( small game trapping and
wild weed picking will supplement-grains are for calories ). Water is as simple as a $60 Katadyn filter
element ( screw Berky brands. 800
gallons for them verses 10k for Katadyn at the same price ). There is even that new $20 water straw deal
that claims to get even more gallons filtered, but I haven’t heard any more
details. Get basic. In the near future all the retirement funds,
checking accounts, federal government promises and phantom job opportunities won’t
be worth one turd you’ve created from forty cents a pound worth of wheat.
END
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while I understand your love of wheat gruel,you never mention storing the other needed ingredients needed to make a meal a bit less disgusting,such as sugar,baking powder,baking soda,eggs,canned butter...
ReplyDeleteMight be an article if I'm desperate. I guess I figure what you know to put in your daily cupboard you'd put in storage also.
DeleteJust out of curiosity,how large is the Bison temple of doom? Could you grow a garden if you had real dirt?
ReplyDeleteThe water is more an issue than the dirt-I need an initial infusion once, but water is every day on this one acre of dead dried clay ( actually a succulent crop of weeds this year- I had to sickle three times rather than once ).
DeleteWeeds are just plants you haven't figured out how to use/eat yet.
ReplyDeleteSalad weeds?
ReplyDelete