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Saturday, August 23, 2014

jim washer


JIM WASHER
The other day I ran across a prepper blog article on “five ways to wash your clothes without power”.  Tellingly, as in tellingly those sons a bitches still refuse to heed my wisdom even after years and years of casting my pearls before swine, the Jim Washer was NOT listed.  Instead, they had to gay it up with Too Complicated, Too Expensive and Too Much Work ( I tried leaving a comment but it wouldn’t go through- I think I’m flagged or something ).  I came up with the Jim Washer eons ago, and those silly enough to have been reading back then and still reading now can revel in my refresher course.  The complicated way that was presented was to hook the agitator up to a bicycle.  Yes, we’ve all seen the movie “Mosquito Coast” with Harrison Ford.  If not, I’d recommend it.  Or the book-the film is pretty faithful and the book was written in one of those styles that suggests the author is just this side of a snob so if you skip the written form you aren’t out a whole lot.  In fact, I’d say the book is the authors One Hit Wonder- never much cared for any of the others I tried.  Anyway, Mosquito Coast is an underrated prepper book, and one of the gadgets Engineer Dad comes up with is the ol’ washing machine from a bicycle.  For Gear Heads, this is just the thing to tinker with.  There was also a book not too long ago-if I’m not mistaken, recommended by Rawles- about all the cool stuff Third World folks run with bicycle power.  It would be fascinating to find out if those folks got the idea for the washer from the book, or visa versa.

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The Too Expensive Way was the original standby, the James Washer.  This has been around forever, a commercially manufactured unit where a thirty gallon steel barrel is cut in half and a flat top welded over the opening ( this is the basic design, not how they make the thing ) and the thing rests on legs at waist level with an attached arm sticking up.  You push the handle back and forth to agitate.  VERY pricey.  As in, our Union workers can only make one of these a day after breaks and mandatory OSHA meetings so we got to charge you $500 each kind of pricey.  It’s a friggin covered steel drum, for humps sake.  Then there are the three Too Much Work ways, all of which involve arm muscle.  The old wash board.  The toilet plunger through the five gallon bucket lid.  And one that escapes me at the moment.  Of COURSE washing was drudgery.  The gal of the house doesn’t have a huge upper body muscle mass to use and these things use way too much of that.  The Jim Washer uses leg muscle, and not much of it.  You put the laundry in a five gallon bucket and strap the bucket into the seat of a rocking chair.  You sit on the couch behind the chair and use your feet, resting atop the back of the rockers, to gently keep the chair rocking as you keep occupied otherwise such as reading.  Unlike those chauvinist pig capitalist humps out there trying to make the work of our neo-pioneer women more difficult, exploiting them and condemning them to a life of laundry hell, I have liberated them and made more leisure time they may enjoy!  Celebrate me, oh unworthies! All others trying to rip off my idea may burn in the lower bowels of Hell, amen.

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9 comments:

  1. you can also attach it to the wheat grinder,get her to do twice the work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not seeing the mechanics of the thing

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  2. Bi-la kaifa

    -Sumdude

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fictional language, translates to needs no further explanation/ amen.

      -Sumdude

      Delete
  3. I like the concept Jim...course being the train driver ah is...I'll have ta think on it and perhaps cobble something together. With your permiso o course sir.
    Seeing how I've plenty of time presently to ponder !

    As an update to my condition....good news...and bad I suppose.
    The good is that they are allowing me to go home next week !
    Bad is that I'm not to put any weight on the left leg. For at least two more months.
    Still have a nasty open wound on my shin, that has to be tended to daily. Once again the VA has come through and will send out someone to do this, as it requires a local anesthetic to keep me from pissin ma drawers when they mess with it lol.
    Sure getting some up close and personal instruction on deep wound care !
    Valuable instruction for our uncertain future me thinks....

    Starting to really like this loaner tablet. Handy Lil thing.....

    Thanks for letting me spew thoughts on your blog !

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  4. AND as a side benefit, if you are biking for transport (the whole family of course) you will have parts and leg strength to work the James washer MK2. However, please not this agitation is rather gentle your post apocalypse lifestyle may generate stains requiring a stationary bike style washer for the greater agitation factor.

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    Replies
    1. OR, get both kids on it. Piss them off, then put one on each side and have them spastically shove it back and forth. Lots of agitation

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