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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

beach cruiser diet


BEACH CRUISER DIET 1
Evolution

Mother Nature is a Syphilitic Succubus.   She ain’t wondrous, pretty, awe inspiring or good for your health.  Humans, prior to air conditioning and central heat, were rightly in fear of nature and made their bubble cocoons to keep Nature at bay as well as could be managed.  Only recently have we forgotten how nasty and brutish She is ( and as a Succubus will, she lures the weak minded and lustful into Her embrace and then drags them down into the lower bowels of Hell ).  You can wall herself off from Nature, and adopt cultural practices that mitigate certain effects, but in the end you can’t beat Nature.  You can work with nature, rather than against it, and that is your best bet, but that just kicks the can down the road-you eventually lose the game even if you’ve won a hand or two.  As part of Nature, mankind must abide her rules.  And that is where evolution comes in.  Like all species, we are a product of the total of all our previous survivors of individuals against Nature.  Nature changed the climate ten thousand years ago, and we had to go from Hunter-Gatherers to farmers.  But our behavior and our biology was set after hundreds of thousands of years prior to that.  We are meat eaters, despite what that idiotic transgender in the White House is trying to force public schools to mold our children by.  We can survive as bunny food eaters, but not all that well.  Our bodies are used to up to half our diet being meat.  You can eat too much, as well as not enough.  Balance in all things-something Michael/Michele seems to have forgotten if it ever knew about it in the first place.

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But besides diet, we are definitely not a sedentary species.  You can’t focus on diet alone.  Far more importantly, you must lead an active lifestyle.  Now, I’ll be the last one to call for a regimen of intense exercise after eight hours of sitting in a cubicle and two hours of couch reclining along with an hour commuting to work.  A gym is not what I am talking about.  Those are just Yuppie Meat Marts, anorexic plastic part Barbie Dolls hoping to attract the attention of moneyed muscle men so that they might not only live in a lifestyle they are accustomed to but also spawn a better class of offspring.  The peacocks flash their plumes and the peahens bat their eyelashes in response.  No, I assume you have an actual life outside of the mating game.  You want to be much healthier.  It can led up to an improved procreating prospect, but mainly you want to not live longer per se but live a much more comfortable life by improving the whole body rather than just its façade.  This approach will take longer to achieve a noticeable result, but it will “take” much better and have much better long term results.  And save you a cubic butt ton of money.  Most diets cost you- this one will pay you.

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4 comments:

  1. Any diet where I can keep my employment, and exercise well removed from the rest of the vapid herds of yuppies definitely has my attention.
    Of course unlike you I get paid for my brains not my brawn at my career, so cubical sitting is 8.5 hours of my day. The workplace and rental house (no trailer parks in this tiny town) are less than a mile apart so the bike ride is very short to and from work - even going home on lunch hour only gives me a total of maybe forty minutes bike riding in an entire day, if I also run errands...
    But improving the land (digging ditches, putting up fences, planting trees, etc.) seems to be ever so slowly trimming off a little of the fat. But if I could trim off more of the fat I know I would be even more productive on the land.

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    1. Remember, the key is to sell the car so it is never a viable alternative and will destroy your will to exercise. There, I just summed up most of the booklet for you. I eat butter and fat and massive amounts of bread and I can't gain weight. My biking is an hour and a half- but I don't think you will eat 3-4k calories a day like I do on account of my job so it should about even out.

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    2. Nah, I eat about 2-3k cals a day. Around here you have to have a car to get anywhere outside the town of 1k people (2+ hour drive to any town bigger than this one - including one with a car rental agency).
      BUT I find it possible just to park the car (pickup) in the garage and cover it with enough stuff that it takes longer to dig it out than it does to just hop on the bike and get to work. Unfortunately part of that is because work is so Dang close (so is everything else).
      The spouse and kid both take their bikes to everything in town - and thanks to the oversize basket even weekly shopping gets done this way.
      But the town is so small that we are still only getting a little exercise. And visiting a big town is too far via bike- (@ 150 miles).

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    3. Its only a thirty hour round trip!

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