pan, flat and nuke bread

PAN, FLAT AND NUKE BREAD

It has probably been quite some time since we’ve talked about all the lazy/bachelor/cheap ways of making bread.  Flat bread started it all, that glorious concoction from Afghanistan and region I picked up on during my readings of the Soviet invasion there.  I couldn’t try to down a Russian Hind attack copter by shooting at it tail rotor with a 303 round but I could make their culinary staple as I was already familiar with whole wheat flour from Mom’s proto-hippie stage.  Flat bread is nothing more than whole wheat flour ( this ain’t a tortilla so don’t use white flour except as a partial substitute to trick the family into eating whole wheat.  Use less and less white as time goes on ) and water, mixed as dry as you can,  rolled thin- I’d use a floured rolling pin if I were you as I’m sure the hand method takes quite a bit of practice.  Then you get a piece of metal on your stove ( cast iron is great as it evenly heats up ) that is hot enough a drop of water bounces around in agitation.  Throw that puppy on and pay attention to it.  You want to keep turning it so as to minimize the black spots.  It also takes a little bit of practice to tell when it is done.  Try a few small ones to start.  You’ll tell the doughy ones from the done ones easily.  Just keep them thin no matter the overall size.  These cook up pretty quick.  Hot out of the pan with butter, they are better even than regular bread straight out of the oven- and that is saying something!  I used to go at it for over an hour baking up enough for the entire work week- I’d have a whole wheat waffle for breakfast and then several of these for lunch and it was enough to keep me going all day doing manual labor.

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Pan bread is the same as flat bread, but instead of cooking it dry and then putting butter on it, you cook up your greasy dinner like meat and potatoes and when done throw your dough in the oil to cook up.  It varies the flavor and either makes the next day’s breakfast or really fills you up after dinner.  Nuke bread is the least tasty, but the easiest.  I love wheat in most any form, but the mess is always a hassle in a very low water use household.  I’d love to throw on some biscuits sometimes instead of another serving of beans or rice.  But after toting a ton and a half of Food Bank slop in 95 degrees ( or in 5 in the winter ) I’m in zero mood to fight with food at home.  Instead of wheat for dinner or making it for the next day I just make nuke bread at work.  That is just a waffle batter spread out on a plate and microwaved three minutes on each side.  If you kept a bag of flour ( again, whole wheat.  It fills you up much better and gives you more energy ) at work and had some Styrofoam cups and plates- mix the batter in a cup and then use the plate in the micro- your lunch problem is solved with no clean up and little cost.  Yes, it tastes a bit like wet cardboard.  Taste is for rich folk.

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