lights off & sweathers on

LIGHTS OFF & SWEATERS ON
I talk a lot about my superior greatness and how special I am and how Baby Jesus loves me above all others and how I can live on 50 watts of solar power a day and the last winter I only used a single five gallon tank of propane to heat the B-POD.  One might get the mistaken impression that I am just gifted and this stuff is easy.  You actually have to work at it.  I watch the power usage like a beat cop patrolling for vagrants and other riffraff.  The lights are allowed on from dusk to bedtime.  If we wake up the next morning and it is too cold to go up to the trailer ( having my comfortable thrift store $20 recliner back, away from the evil clutches of the stepdaughter, it is now a slice of ecstasy to relax upstairs during the day ), the lights do NOT get used.  I don’t care if the day is sunny, the day after that might not be.  The penlights are used ( the Pit has two small windows on either end.  It is never pitch black inside, but you are moving about in gloom ) and to read there are book LED’s that clamp on and use AA batteries ( it took awhile to find a book lamp that was an LED, not a filament bulb, and used standard, not button, batteries and was affordable ).  When the battery controller light turns green, only then are we allowed to turn on the overhead light.  That is how you survive on so few panels and batteries.

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And when it is cold inside, averaging fifty degrees with regular coffee brewing ( forty to forty-five otherwise ) unless we are in an extended cold snap, we don’t play Yuppie pussy and turn on the heat.  You stay bundled up in the winter, even inside.  Sitting around with little activity, I need to wear the same amount of sweater I do when I’m outside in fifteen degrees in the sun out of the wind at work- a thin wooly under a thicker one.  We also wear beanies inside most of the time.  Outside, I wear a polyester cap under a wool beanie and am warm. Or, my new preferred mild winter head gear, a genuine Eastern European Commie Cap.   In severe cold I have my rabbit fur hat.  During dinner, the place heats up from cooking and then the heater goes on for an hour if needed.  I bath-uncomfortably, granted.  Fifty-five to sixty is a gold plated bitch for bathing but sometime it doesn’t get any warmer.  And that is how you don’t use much heat in the winter.  You stay bundled.  You do the Jimmy Carter in the White House wearing a sweater bit.  My dad hollers he will never wear a big feather down parka in the house, whenever the heating bill issue comes up.  He also grew up in southern California and is forever spoiled in a “lounging about in a T-shirt” way.  I say, it is far cheaper to buy a wool sweater than to pay a heating bill.

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