Apocalypse Bum Fodder. No, I didn’t just make that up although it does have a certain ring to it. Bum Fodder is, or at least was a hundred years ago, British slang for toilet paper. I’m not sure how they came up with that one. I read “fodder” and I think “cannon fodder”. But fodder is also livestock food- so bum fodder is food for your anus. Perhaps along the lines of, you go through so much TP it is like your ass is eating it. Of course, fodder is also “a consumable” which explains “cannon fodder”. Okay, I’m glad we got THAT one straightened out. It all CAME about as I was reading “Mr. Kipling’s Army”, a short history book on the pre-WWI British army. There was a slang for any kind of military paperwork that was derived from Bum Fodder. It also touched on how the different classes, enlisted and officer, were such worlds apart that they also had different languages. The author didn’t go into detail, but this brought me around to a previous book I’d read last month, a biography on JRR Tolkien. He was of course the Lord Of The Rings guy, but his career was as a college professor specializing in the regions languages and their structures and origins. Anglo Saxons, the Saxons and Norman combination, had two separate side by side languages which eventually merged. Which is why there are so many French words in an otherwise Germanic language. Which is why there are so many duplicate words. And which one you use used to denote your upper or lower class origins. An example would be “muck” and “manure”. The Up Town ones are usually French. Hey, I thought it was fascinating and it did get your mind off an anus consuming a lunch of toilet paper.
Rawles might go down in the chronicles of the post-apocalypse world as the Man Who Gave Us Phone Book Toilet Paper. Hey, it was a darn fine idea. A compact free source of asswipe. And one can go a long way if you use only enough to remove the bulk of the solids and then a clothe diaper to get the rest ( which are meant to be washed and reused, an idea which the bums here at work are unfamiliar with- a reoccurring theme being a fecal smeared sock sitting atop the washroom trashcan ). But I have only collected a few, and the idea that you can only gather more once a year is discouraging. So, while I prefer phone books, I also want to supplement them with a more readily available alternative. Hence, newspaper bundles. I find them all the time thrown into city dumpsters, still held together with those plastic straps. Usually they are the ones with the ads which were supposed to have been inserted into papers. And I don’t find them from the Sunday edition which means no slick paper ( which obviously you don’t want ). One bundle fits neatly into my milk carton bike rack filling it three quarters to the top. That should feed my bum for awhile.
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The free ad pads work well also. If you can get a heavy dew, even better.ReplyDelete
Yep- pull out a free one of each every time you pass a rack. Then head down to the laudramat and get free firestarter lint.Delete
The sears catalog was around long before Rawles was a wet dream.I'm sure his concrete reinforced bunker has as much TP as ammo,next to his MBR and night vision gear.His armored vehicle has a better toilet than your bunker!ReplyDelete
The man is rich, but that rich? I'm thinking they just cut a hole in the bottom of the APC to save money. You do NOT want to be using it while hitting a mine.Delete
with as much as he probably makes from ad revenue alone,I think he's just some hippy living in Seattle,laughing at everyone that buys his overpriced hype! He doesn't even write his own blog,its all guest articles trying to win his contests! Really,"how to do surgery when SHTF"?? He's a scam artist!Delete
Be nice. We are just jealous it didn't happen to us.Delete
of course I'm jealous! Set up a blog full of ads,write a few doom and gloom novels,sit back and party as he counts the $$! I really even wonder about his credentialsDelete
What credentials? I wouldn't be bragging about being an officer, or in MI, or living on grid even if it is in sparcely populated Idaho. It is easy to have creds hyping the survivalist school of Tappon or Clayton or Ruff. You don't have to be all that differant. I still admire what he has done, but only because he recognized way early what to do. The WHAT is what I'm not 100% impressed with. The timing and discipline is.Delete
"Rawles might go down in the chronicles of the post-apocalypse world as the Man Who Gave Us Phone Book Toilet Paper. Hey, it was a darn fine idea."ReplyDelete
Huh? That is a pretty good idea, I must admit. Much more compact than newspaper. But with the newspaper, you can get one of those forms that turns them into presto logs for burning in the fire place, which you should have one of James. So it's also worth having on hand in Abundance.
You do however want to avoid the "John Wayne toilet paper" as it's rough, and tough, and it don't take no shit from no one : D
Come on! Give the man his due. I thought it was one of the better ideas.Delete
Or..... give the man his.....Delete
Ok, that wasn't half bad.Delete
Also newspapers are good compost. Excepting the colorized stuff.ReplyDelete
I'm thinking washing your ass afterwards. Ala French...
It certainly wouldn't hurt a lot of people to be washing their ass more often.Delete