Before, we talked about how it is your civic duty as a member of the lower class to deny Wal-Mart as much profit as possible so as to hasten their demise. Now Kroger has made it far easier than before. Now they have a new generic brand, “Psst”. Not the name I would have chosen, unless they actually intended it to have the hidden meaning of “pissed” rather than the attention grabbing sub-vocal greeting it seems to be. Whatever, they haven’t yet consulted me on marketing. And if they did I’d demand groceries for life ( excluding cigarettes and liquor of course ). As you recall, groaning from the number of times I just simply HAD to bemoan coffee, its supreme importance, its cost and its inclusion as a food group, one of the few reasons to keep going to Wal-Mart was its Master Chef brand 33 ounce coffee for $5.28. Their generic was something like $6+ and tasted worse than dried flaked offal. Kroger’s generic also was a bit pricey and also tasted like dung. But their Psst brand coffee ( God, I’ve only been writing this for a few minutes and already that brand is irritating me. Let’s just go with Pissed Brand ) is $5.29 and is one and a half ounce bigger. So in actuality, cheaper.
The taste? No, not as good as Master Chef. But barely worse. And still better tasting than all the generic coffees anywhere ( remember, this IS bottom barrel coffee. Starbucks it ain’t. But we ain’t filthy Yuppie Scum who spend $20 for two pounds of coffee ). This is quite liberating. The last vestiges of neediness to the Arkansas Mafia are dissolving. But wait! If you order now there is even LESS reason to shop at Wal-Mart. Here is a comparison to other food items. All items are generic in both stores ( the one brand name was 9 Lives wet cat food- I eat generic while the cats eat brand. And it WAS cheaper at Wally ). Vegetable shortening, same size, same plastic container. Kroger was $3.49 and Wally was $4.12. Whole wheat flour Kroger was $2.99 and Wally was $3.46. Regular flour Kroger was $1.79 and Wally was $1.88. Pork and beans 59 cents at Kroger and 89 at Wally. Cat food was $9.48 at Wally and $10.29 at Kroger. The only winner at Wal-Mart is brand name, NOT generic. Not for the foods I buy. Granted, this was not scientific. I didn’t compare dozens and dozens of items. Your mileage might indeed vary. If you are a spoiled Yuppie scum, perhaps Wally is a better deal. Myself, I have little to no need for them anymore. They were the never pretty but talented functional date that let herself go and has now become lazy, ugly and expensive. I see a younger hotter gal batting her eyes at me.
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