As has been covered too many times for minions such as yourselves with refined sensibilities, when you step into a pile of crap you had better make sure it is not actually a bottomless pit of fecal matter acting as quicksand before you take another step away from the trees lining the embankment which might if all the gods will it and you are not just a simple dog chew for them and suffering is not a mere amusement to while away their time stuck in eternity, just might act as an anchor you can quickly latch unto in an effort to save yourself. Crap seems to happen in multiples. We try to make it sound more complicated than that because Baby Jesus Himself knows there are plenty of unemployed economists and corporate lackeys out there who would like to sound pretty intelligent and give it fancy titles and write a fictionalized fishing story out of it but the simple summation is that when you step into a crap storm it is usually never really simple but multifaceted and everything hits at once. We won’t JUST see a simple EMP attack that shuts down the grid ( which Yuppie Scum Survivalists would really appreciate because then the quarter million dollar retreat and the third of a million dollar suburban house and the hundred grand in SUV’s and retreat Hummers debt would magically disappear and they could then fondly fondle their semi-auto arsenal as they eat MRE’s-all of which were bought on credit ). That would be too simple. No, you’ll see a petro-dollar collapse followed by a oil shortage that makes the 70’s OPEC embargo look like a fraction of a percentage rounding error, followed by hyperinflation with debt but not wages indexed to the true rate of rising prices followed by mass evictions from houses which the bankers sell for scrap to China followed by civil war followed by famine followed by foreign invasion after an EMP attack.
And that will be the fun part. What I left out was that as soon as that cycle starts, the petro-dollar shutting down, it is not only underwear and shoes, vitamin C and solar panels that no longer get shipped over here, but far more importantly coffee will also cease being imported!!!! Last year, something happened to the coffee crop and the retail prices doubled. Just as they are settling down, there is once again voices raising in many circles that the crop is going to be affected again. Drought? I’m not sure. I didn’t dig too deep to find out, I just madly bought up extra several days ago when I went shopping after renting a car. I got ten cans, and I know that isn’t enough. As soon as I resolve to spend whatever it takes to buy my monthly ration, my luck will see complete unavailability such as the Great Rice Shortage of five years previous. We are even now looking at oil inflation, petro-dollar weakening and terrible weather for crops globally ( still!! ). You tell me another perfect storm to shut down a commodity or two isn’t brewing. Get it? Brewing. Coffee. Stock up.
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