selective panic 1 of 2

SELECTIVE PANIC

As survivalists, we like to panic.  Perhaps it is like an amusement park ride like a roller coaster, where we feel better afterwards because we didn’t die.  Not that I ever really went on any roller coasters.  My top speed/height is the Disneyland Magic Mountain. And even that one gets Unicorn Status use ( ie, once in a lifetime ).  Or, it could be like a horror movie, enjoying the adrenaline because we are shielded from pain.  Not that I watch horror movies much ( I actually take great pride in the fact I’m very boring ).

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But this panic we indulge in is usual counterproductive.  Or, if I’m in a less forgiving mood, it is retarded.  We either don’t panic enough, may Baby Jesus have mercy on your soul, or panic about the silliest things.  Not that I’m claiming to be any better.  We have all been there, throwing cash at a problem to Make The Bad Men Go Away.  When Cat Ladies get stressed they get another cat.  When we do, we go buy a box of ammo or another gun.  In that aspect, you can probably call that a positive motivation.  But that isn’t panic.

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Seeking Comfort is probably the point most survivalists stay at.  Buy something else to stop the ugly voices.  Do we truly ever panic?  I know those moments stand out for me, as the results usually were suboptimal.  Like being a civilian for a time, then panicking as the local economy crashed and I was running out of money so I re-joined the military ( remembering full well how much I hated it ).  Then, one time I panicked when the wife threatened me with the police ( it happened more than once- I never have to live alone as I always find another gal, but it was quantity over quality until now ).

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The first time, I told her, in effect, “I can’t believe you are pulling this crap just to get your way.  Fine.  I’ll do it. Then we are over, forever ( the Baby Momma, whom I’d had until then a continuous On Again, Off Again )”.  That was panic.  I knew she would lie to the cops to get me arrested.  But that worked out great.  Yet the second time, I panicked and just begged her ( a different wife ) not to call the cops.  Wow.  What a dumb ass.  Never the same relationship.

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I learn from my mistakes, usually.  And I try to structure my life to minimize making them ( a boring life, remember ).  It has been a good long while since I’ve truly panicked.  I might finally greenlight a scheme I’ve been working on, such as finally moving days after being laid off, leaving behind annual 10% rent increases.  But that isn’t panic.  I had plans and options and just moved in the same direction only quicker.  You can do stupid crap when you do that but it usually isn’t tragic or devastating like true panic brings.

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I still get in a rush and do bonehead things.  I’ve lately been having issues with energy drain.  I think I’m eating more than enough, and little of that bad food, but if I go too long between eating my energy flags.  I’m thinking low blood sugar, but what the hell do I know?  I won’t waste money going to Dr. Quack, so I must self-diagnose.  And I can’t eat just anything, like sugar.  It has to follow a schedule.  Four hours after waking if I don’t eat my whole wheat nuke bread I get in trouble.

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I always eat a whole grain before coffee.  Oatmeal, store bought wheat bread, whatever.  I need that sponge in my belly before the acid.  When the NOL isn’t working she will then, an hour or so later, cook me fried eggs and breakfast sausage.  But those eggs or not, just the one breakfast or two, eating the second fifteen minutes prior or two hours prior, right around that four to five hours from waking, I need that freshly ground whole wheat flour bread.  Nothing else works.  It is one of the weirdest things.

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Okay, now, knowing this, a new natural law for about a year or so now, having tried everything to work around it, I’ve finally accepted it as unstoppable.  I have everything ready and even schedule around it ( I don’t even think about the exercise bike until after the whole wheat meal ).  I think I ate so much of my diet in whole wheat for so long my body gets an X type of carbohydrate sugar that isn’t duplicated by another food ( that might sound strange, but like regular doctors I “Guinee Pig” solutions and Wild Ass Guess ).

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Or, I’m overthinking it and I’ll die shortly.  Anyway, even now, I’ll occasionally STILL try to ignore this problem.  I sometimes get a Planets Aligned day when everyone comes out with outstanding long articles and I can’t motivate myself to leave the computer screen in time.  I start getting weak, and in a near panic I’m shoving sweets and protein down my gullet as quick as possible.  Hey, whole wheat nuke bread really does taste like wet cardboard.  It tastes even worse if I pre-make it.  It does need to be fresh to taste Less Worse. 

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Shoving other items down NEVER works.  I know it won’t.  Yet I still do this every once in awhile.  It isn’t panic, but closer to that then just Bad Decisions In A Hurry.  It is like knowing eating ice cream before bed while watching TV will boomerang back on you but you sometimes do it anyway.  So, my point here is, I hope that is an interesting story, and also, most of us have learned from hard experience not to panic, or at least insulate ourselves so we rarely have to panic.  But that isn’t the conclusion to this article.  It is prelude. 

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I want to discuss how to constructively panic and how to hopefully avoid panic when a real ( as opposed to our imagined ) crisis occurs.  Most of our preps are Seeking Comfort.  Which insulates us from panic. But it can also block necessary panic.  Which then leads to real panic, but after it is too late to do anything about it.  Continued tomorrow.

( .Y. )

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