less water & fuel

LESS WATER & FUEL

I know that you are all looking at each other and making faces, wondering what the hell this bison guy is talking about.  Use less fuel and water?  Why, the very notion is un-American and certainly unpatriotic, perhaps even enough that you want to call your duly selected CongressCritter and suggest that possibly he might want to exercise his lawful rights ( might does after all make right ) and have this cat “disappeared” on his way to the airport reroute to Uncle Obammy’s tropical paradise island.  Why, if we are given by Baby Jesus himself the imperative to drive SUV’s and shoot plastic guns with large banana clips, surely we can waste a few hundred gallons a day showering and flushing a few capfuls of urine.  If this idea caught on, entire swaths of the economy and local government would perish.  I trust I’ve been sarcastic enough?  One of these days, Alice, you are going to see sky high electric and gas bills, if not shortages, and even if you don’t see much higher water bills due to drought, the local municipalities WILL jack up your cost so they can balance their budgets precariously unstable due to past mayors retiring with 200% pensions after four years of “service”. 

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In the last ten years I’ve had fewer conventional showers than fingers on my hands.  I smell like a field of roses ( until you get too close to my ass ) and I don’t have strange and bizarre skin diseases.  I was listening to the radio last week and on one of the YakFests there was a piece on a doctor talking about daily showers.   According to him, as long as you wash your crotch and butt every day, there is no need to shower every single day.  This backs up my step-mothers practice ( she was a nurse for forty years ), started when she had serious injuries to her entire arm and side, if you recall my telling you when she got lippy with a local deputy while drunk and he face planted her, and couldn’t have pounding water on her.  Wash the crotch/ass daily ( I wash my head daily, but only because I have an oily top ), and every other day just use a washcloth and hot water everywhere else ( the cloth wet enough to drip water is better than it rung out too much ).  Some folks will need the feet washed daily with soap, others armpits.  It is going to vary.  You just experiment, go after whatever itches or smells.  I do a whole body soap twice a week, the remaining just hot water wipes ( except as noted above ).  I find the huge washcloths, almost a small towel, are much better than the regular sizes.  Between skipping several days of full body soap and now using an electric razor half the time ( I don’t care for them-they are expensive and inefficient.  But now I’m clean shaven every day instead of half the week ) I’m hauling about half the water I used to.  Keeping sparkly clean doesn’t require tons of hot water.

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