Tuesday, July 3, 2018

thirty year food 2 of 2


THIRTY YEAR FOOD 2
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As covered yesterday, your food storage has many different levels.  You always have six months of regular grocery items that aren’t perishable.  This way you only buy on the sale.  You literally save 50% on grocery shopping this way, on average.  Then six months of freezer meat.  Again, this cuts your grocery bill in half because you are only buying on the sale.  This isn’t for the apocalypse but just for the regular economic decline.  Then, you have two months of no or low cooking food, heavy on protein and fat.  This is your die-off food storage.

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This can be freeze dried, if you are rich, or wet canned meats and butter if you need to be really frugal.  This is NOT the time to be cheap on food preps ( just cheap-er if you need to be ).  The next storage plan is your regular wheat, PLUS all that fun stuff for variety and comfort.  But these are still peasant foods, all carbs.  I want five years of meat to go with my wheat, but wanting in one hand and defecating in the other, I can’t help but notice that my want hand is the only one not filling up.  You can want all you want and it means absolutely zero.  The universe could give a crap what you want, hubris boy.  Get over it.

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AFTER the die-off diet, the only thing most of us can afford are carbohydrate foods of questionable food quality.  Obviously, have wheat.  If you don’t have three years minimum wheat, you are not only wrong, you are just a smidge dumb ass too.  Then, after the wheat, you can start adding your other thirty year foods.  You don’t need it, but it is at least affordable ( unlike that die-off two month diet ) and is a compromise between a meat every night diet and a just wheat diet.  NOT freeze dried, but Forever Food from the grocery store.  White rice, white flour, sugar and shortening have already been mentioned.  Thank you, FINALLY, food industry.

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There is a lot of problems with the for profit food industry in America ( perhaps in plenty of other countries, but I think no one went further overboard making food into poison than we did ), but one thing you have to admit, even if it took plenty of irreplaceable fuel and plenty of factories, finally the problem of food spoilage was solved.  The foods coming out of factories simply lasts pretty close to forever.  It was a recognized joke full of hyperbole to proclaim that a Twinkie would last as long as cockroaches after a nuclear war, but it also was pretty close to the mark.  Processed foods can last forever.  You might be eating crap but at least you had enough calories to avoid famine ( malnutrition was an entirely different matter ).

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Any liquid oil you care to store will pretty much be a rancid bottle of goo after a year or three.  I used to store lard, but at about five years most of it is starting to go bad.  But shortening?  That stuff is as “fresh” smelling at the five year mark as day one, and that is NOT storing it in a temperature controlled environment.  That is all I store now and it is half the price of lard.  White flour will begin to taste a bit weird after five years, but it is still edible.  It will be for a very long time.  White rice tastes just as horrid in ten years as the day it left the factory, but you can eat it.  I would hazard to guess that there is no reason why rice and flour isn’t going to be edible in thirty years.

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Sugar will last forever.  I’m not aware about corn syrup, but I can’t imagine that will go bad.  But just sugar itself is going to do wonders for almost anything you can make or bake ( to be clear, you are eating whole wheat flour every day, with all this processed fake food as a supplement.  An all complete carb diet won’t kill you.  A simple carb one [ processed, white foods ] can.  Eat mostly complex carbs and only add a little of the processed ones for flavor and variety ).  A little fake maple flavoring and you have syrup for those otherwise boring waffles and pancakes ( if you simply must have post-apocalypse waffles, they do make cast iron waffle makers for off grid use ).

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Everyone knows to add spices to your food storage.  It is much cheaper to do so than paying the food storage company to add them for you.  Don’t forget the chicken and beef bullion.  Sure, it is basically a barely cow flavored salt lick, but that salt means the little bastards will last forever.  A bit of flavored water for pasta or biscuits gets you a brand new dish.  Minion reports have freeze dried foods at very high salt levels, so why pay for the heavy salted beef when you can just store bullion cubes much cheaper? ( I know!  Protein.  I’m being funny, damn you to Hell, Francis ).

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Don’t forget drinks.  Coffee, obviously.  The generic swill might taste worse than Starbucks with homeless guy body fluids in it, but the swill never goes bad.  Years after the apocalypse you might wish you had green coffee beans in storage you could roast yourself for a glorious cup of delicious gourmet coffee, but you’ll happily settle for coffee flavored generic mud.  Instant will also last forever ( hello, it is freeze dried ), but it costs much more.  Tea bags are barely over a penny each ( Kroger, no string or tab ).  I can’t stand tea, but your mileage may vary.  And add things like hot chocolate packages, or even drink mixes.

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I think it would be funny as hell to store Grape Kool-Aid for the apocalypse, getting everyone nervous that you are all going out in a blaze of glory as the food runs out ( by some accounts the drink flavoring was actually a knock off brand, Flavor-Aid, but myths are better unaltered ).  But any sugar flavored water mix is probably a good idea.  It is, again, comfort food.  It isn’t strictly needed.  But you are saving half on your grocery shopping, remember?  You can take a portion of your savings and buy all these additional foods that are after all variety/comfort foods. 

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I mean, seriously.  You haven’t Pantry Stocked yet?  What does pasta go for now?  At least a buck a pound.  There was a semolina flour shortage in Italy for a time and ever since then pasta is at least double the price.  It just takes one crop issue in one region ( rice, beans, semolina wheat, eggs-all recent examples ) and globally that commodity shoots up in price and all you see are empty shelves.  But pasta goes on sale regularly, for fifty cents if you buy half a dozen or ten or whatever.  Why wouldn’t you stock up?  Keep that six month supply stocked AND add to your long term stores.  And it doesn’t cost you extra. 

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I constantly ONLY buy meat at half price, if not one third.  I think I go more months NOT spending $60 or $80 than I do going over that.  Many times, even that low amount includes long term storage food.  You want to know how to get spouse approval for food storage?  There it is.  Spend one third only buying on sales, place the other third in long term storage food, and show her the other one third price savings.  You’ll probably be put in charge of grocery shopping.  You’re a genius, a hero!  It also helps if you learn to cook, then she won’t want to go out to eat as often ( especially when she sees what ONE meal costs in comparison to the new and improved monthly grocery bill ).  Now, compare the above with your chances of being given permission to buy any #10 cans of freeze dried foods.  Or FLIR scopes.

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22 comments:

  1. Being a poor hillbilly growing up has it's advantages. I eat rice and beans on a regular basis normally. A little rabbit meat thrown in the pot don't hurt either. I consider bologna to be Texas Round Steak and Spam is for special occasions like weddings! So let's just say I don't have a sophisticated palate. Got to have my Nescafe in the morning.I buy giant jars at Sam's Club and a restaurant size container of powdered creamer. I've been on a diet since New Years. I have lost 65 lbs of apocalypse fat maybe I should of held on to. But I want to look good naked when the cannibals cut me up! Lean meat with just a little fat for taste. later James.

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    1. The one good thing about Spam and Spam flavored accessories is that it doesn't taste any worse than MRE meat. Sure, I know, "just like the M16, they've improved it since you were in". Just like Microsoft improves its software, right?

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    2. Well I for one have always liked Spam and eat it at least once a month now. I get the Great Value brand and have a variety of ways to prepare but I also like to just slice it up out of the can and put it on a sandwich, with some cheese and mayo. mmmmm

      I'm gonna try to dry some of the GV spam too and see how it comes out, but there is no real way to get the fat out of it. I'll slice it real thin, like 1/8".

      The fat will go rancid, right?

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    3. Hey RP, I live in Bean Blossom, IN, the hillbilly capital of the world and about 1.5 miles from the Bill Monroe museum - the inventor of Blue Grass music. In the summer we can hear the bluegrass fests from the front porch. Your diet is similar to mine cept I prefer Folgers (instant) and I get it in giant jars and the giant powdered creamers too, buy sugar in 10lb bags. Got's to have my mud. Here it is 9pm and I just fired up another one. Not many bunnies around this year but plenty of squirrels and my neighbor across the roads mother showed me how to make squirrel gravy that'll give ya wood every time. yee-hawwww

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    4. GS-from what I understand, you want pretty much no fat. Not sure how much you can include but its got to be pretty close to none. Why pork is never used, right?

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  2. Idea for minions. I bought little foil baking pans when on sale, (little loaf and square brownie pans) a little stash of these are used for disposable camp/austere cooking conditions. Throw a mulligan stew of ingredients together in and slow cook over tea lites, candles, rocket stove and can have hot food in the bunker or in bad weather/covert scenarios. If lacking water for dishwashing or in a hide out, disposable and fast-er food prep, serving-meal size portioning/storage should be planned for. Only Jim will be dining like british empire officers behind the lines with fine china, crystal, sterling utensils, linens, servants in attendance.

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    Replies
    1. Good idea. My manservant will be in touch for any more tips :)

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  3. Coconut oil will last forever. Stores easily and melts in your hands.

    Better for you than any other oil including olive oil.

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    1. And about three to four times the price of shortening. Good to know, if you can afford it. If you need years worth of oil, and can't afford it, healthy isn't necessarily an option. Just like I'd rather have had an HK91 rather than an Enfield...

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  4. Don't forget to look at what your dietary needs are - diabetic? skip the sugar, stock up on more whole grains (oats maybe?)and spices. Wheat intolerant? ouch- corn and rice and potato flakes (aka boxed mash potatoes) for you. Adjust for any current OR LIKELY FUTURE medical issues you can envision. If your family has a history of hitting 50 and getting heart disease maybe you should reduce the shortening stores? etc. Don't forget seeds that you can sprout other than wheat - many things taste good as young greens that you wouldn't eat otherwise, and young greens can be eaten raw or with little cooking, water and a tray and temp control is all you need.

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    1. I'm never eating that shortening until the apocalypse. The "store what you eat" doesn't get ignored, as that crap is in most prepared foods anyway, and in a fat shortage your body will crave it.

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  5. Yes, quality is nice when daydreaming about a future spouse. But when a minion is not a yuppie in the redoubt with pet unicorns in the stable, different options must be considered. I use grocery shelf tags (or smart phone calculator) for the price per ounce comparisons on food brands/sizes/etc. I also reference labels to get the highest total calories per serving size/container/ as well as protein,salt,sugar,fat grams etc. This is where rubber meets the road on getting as best for cost, yet getting the necessary quantities stocked up. There may be diamonds in the rough in stores with off branded or different regional brands brought in as a substitute or test market sales. Watch mark down sections for candidates and prepare some mental math to try a negotiation with manager to clear it out at a much more reduced price. It really is guerilla warfare shopping anymore these days.

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  6. Awhile back I mentioned that I was going to experiment with drying a can of Great Value white chicken in my Presto dehydrator. I did that a couple weeks ago and it took about 4 hours to reduce it to that looked like splintered pine wood and dry as hell. 1/10 the size it was originally.

    I dumped the can contents in a screen colander and busted all the chunks up with a fork then I rinsed all the fat off with hot water and let it sit and drain for 10 mins. Then I layered it on fruit leather trays in the dryer. After it was dry I put it in a small Rubbermaid container then into the frig.

    This morning I put 2 tbls each of the chicken, uncooked white rice, dried mixed vegetables (corn, peas, carrots, green beans, onions, bell peppers), 2 chicken bullion cubes, 1 tsp of each salt and pepper, and 2 cups of filtered water in my 1 liter titanium camp kettle and heated it to a rolling boil. I boiled it for 5 mins then let it sit lidded with the heat off for 45 mins. I tried it after 15 mins and the rice was still hard. After 45 mins I was chowing down like a big dawg. Tasted very good and now, 10 hours later, I haven't suffered any ill will. Next step is to buy 100 cans of the chicken and dry it and store it in Foodsaver bags. Then I'm going to try the same thing with the other canned meats at Walmart. Yeah, this takes some time, but I'm assured of the quality and it is way less expensive than buying already dehydrated meats.

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    1. Do you ever get that metallic taste with the canned chicken? I stopped buying it just for that reason.

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    2. I have not noticed a metal taste. My wife is VERY picky and she hasn't mentioned it either. I'm talking about the small cans, maybe 2" tall x about 5" dia. I have never eaten it without cooking it in a soup or stew or something like that. Maybe cooking it gets rid of the metal taste? I also only get the all white stuff.

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    3. We did eat it as a chicken salad sandwich. OR, and here's a thought, the bastard whore pukes from Arkansas were really desperate for cash at the time, quality control was nudged along, and it was a bad batch where I was eating plating or steel. That was when the wheels were really falling off the wagon economically so I don't think it outside the realm of possibility.

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  7. Good posts. I think your two month time frame for the "die off" is overly optimistic. There's a heck of a lot of fresh long pig to be eaten.

    JeSteR

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    1. I just completed a three part series on the length of the die-off and I didn't mention cannibalism once. I'm a friggin moron. Thank you-I'll need to go back and do something to cover up my ass showing. Ya gotta love when minions make you look less stupid.

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  8. i wash the canned chicken before using. maybe that would be a help to your taste buds?

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