Thursday, May 23, 2019

darwin hates retards


DARWIN HATES RETARDS
Before I start insulting everyone, yes, I also am a retard.  Having the ability to live in a nice secluded neighborhood, with paid for land, and the means to earn a living while doing so, I choose to live in town since I value a relationship over security.  Hi, my name’s Jim and I’m a dumbass ( Hi, Jim! ).  I can make excuses and offer half-assed work-arounds, but boiled down, I’m just an idiot.  At least alcoholics are doing society a favor by trying to kill themselves off by subsidizing grain farmers.  With me, you have to listen to my ranting while healthy.
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You’ll be lucky if I die before the actuary tables suggest ( another eight years minimum, sorry.  I go by the old, century previous tables.  Modern medicine keeps the zombies alive artificially ).  You, most likely, are also a dumb ass.  Probably a good 90% chance.  And the thing is, Darwin is going to smite almost every dumb ass retard short bus passenger.  I mean, come on!  Why do we even have short buses, right?  The slow kids aren’t going to learn anything except perhaps staying in some of the lines with a crayon. 
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Why are we wasting resources?  The only thing these people were good for was, perhaps, being a shepherd.  Put the retard out in the field to look after the sheep.  What else was he going to do?  And we have plenty of public land out west.  Why feed cattle corn when there is all this free grass ( you use sheep because the cattle can’t survive a lot of the winters without imported resources ).  Anyone can consume resources, the trick is to churn out contributors.  Going to school to take seven years to learn your colors and counting to ten doesn’t cut it.
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And not many are going to be Rain Man, now are they?  Not that there are many K-Marts left to get underwear at.  You look at me like I was just caught picking my ass at the wedding reception, making fun of the single digit IQ people, but life ain’t “Forrest Gump”.  Retards are not that cute or as useful.  Wonderful film, but it was a feel-good fantasy ( fried shrimp, shrimp kabob, shrimp cocktail ).  Retards are going to be the first casualty of the Wraith Of Darwin.  The second?  People who ACT retarded.
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Which is almost all of us.  What did Forrest say?  Retard is as retard does.  And for all of you who say, “movies aren’t real life”, I must ask you, aren’t they?  Popular entertainment is just that, but it is also the fables we turn to for direction.  Just look at most of the prepper fiction.  The square jawed Christian soldier smites the evil masses and ushers in a prosperous moral utopia.  Obviously, utter claptrap.  But that is how most of the readers want to act.  Or, at least want life to act like.  That is their morality tale.
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Movies can still provide distilled wisdom and guidance.  So, remember that line, stupid is as stupid does.  Another really good line is, “run, Forrest, run!”.  That one will REALLY come in handy for the apocalypse.  But back to you acting like a humping retard.  Intentions don’t mean dingus.  Plans without implementation are just mental masturbation.  What have you DONE?  Not, what do you mean to do.  Not, what should you do.  What have you done?  Actions speak oh so much louder than words.  Okay, say you know you need to move to a less populated area.  What have you done?
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Obviously, you cannot always move.  But what have you done to help get there to that point, besides wish, or plan or strategize?  Did you buy some junk land, even if it isn’t exactly where you want to be?  Did you at least put down a $100 and start making payments?  If not, have you cached food and ammo in the nearby forest, as an alternative?  Have you started monetizing your hobby, to work towards self-employment so you can survive off grid?  Subscribing to Backwoods Home doesn’t count.  What have you done to do, rather than think to plan? 
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Stupid is as stupid does.  Your actions are what counts, and nothing else.  You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?  Show me the money ( see, more modern movie fables ).  Remember how we are self-justifiers?  How we lie to others, convinced we speak only the truth?  Well, we lie to ourselves even better than we lie to others.  If you cannot prove you’ve done something, you are acting the retard.  Your actions, that of a retard, are proven whereas your promises and intentions have been proven to be a lie. 
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That is the reason it is so important to do something, anything.  Even baby steps.  When you take no action, subconsciously you feel like a lying lazy turd, and you lie to yourself why that simply cannot be the case.  You are in denial and feel like crap and keep upping the ante lying and trying to not feel that way, to no avail.  It spirals downward.  When you actually do something, you subconsciously throw a parade and the endorphins flow and you use that as a springboard to continue.  You want to keep feeling good.  Even tiny baby steps work.
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Are you sitting in front of the computer, the rolls of fat covering your dingus so bad that you couldn’t view online porn even if you wanted to?  You can ACT retarded and do nothing, or you can ACT and do something besides get fatter.  Go walk two blocks.  It won’t do anything, physically.  But you need to take the mental roadblock out of your way.  Just doing something, will motivate you to do more.  Just like doing nothing will motivate you to do more of nothing.  Next week, walk three blocks.  Then walk three blocks, but faster.  And etcetera.   
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( Bison Global Publishing Empire Incorporated assumes no responsibility for the contents of this article.  For entertainment use only.  Consult your doctor before attempting ).  Yeah, right!  Get off the couch and exercise, you fat twat!  If you die, I don’t care.  At least you’ll feel better about yourself as your whole life of eating Twinkies and pizza flashes before your eyes.  And, as if you can afford a doctors visit.  Baby steps.  Want to own a wiz bang $3k AR-15?  Okay.  Don’t just save money for it.  Because you might be lying about it and use the money for something else. 
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Instead, go buy a stripped lower.  Now you are committed.  Doesn’t that feel better than just dreaming?  And your brain is now lying to itself in a positive rather than negative manner.  Ooooh, it says, I’m Mr. Awesome Sauce.  I committed to my goal.  I put my money where my mouth is.  I’m a stud!  You ARE going to lie to yourself.  You can’t help it, since you are human.  You might as well make those lies work for you positively.  You might as well Get High On Your Own Supply ( yet another movie reference- get those brain drugs massaging your nipples ).
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Continued tomorrow.
( .Y. )
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42 comments:

  1. Following. A true analogy for some of us lacking Minions. It is kinda a fate thing too regarding the station or position one finds themselves in or the missed opportunities for one. I, actually am lucky I do not have a Rawle's dilemma and have to mail drop hide from my own readership, or make a weapon platform change and have to flog a conex container of decommissioned parts and gun stuff online, airing it out like laundry on the line in a yard spectacle. I like to keep my retarded behaviors to a way minimum, and not nearly as offendingly stupid as the general populace of mouthbreathers. If a particular retarded act is identified and turned around or used as impetus for change, improvement, correction and also used as a training tool going forward it can become a good "teachable moment" or wisdom deposit for life experience usages. I would posit that even us "C" average Bison Academy students will probably do quite well in the final exam testing of a collapsing empire, systems collapse, and die off events. Stay frosty.

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    1. Why do you think I have so much to write about? I'm one of the biggest dumbasses. But I do try to learn from it. :) ps-love your description re Rawles!

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    2. Yep that boot fits. yuppie scum knows not how ass retarded they appear to normals when they diarrhea out online all of their unicorn rancher problems at folks. Friggin priceless....

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    3. At this point, entering decrepitude, the movement is indeed hilarious.

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  2. "but it is also the fables we turn to for direction."

    My favorite:

    "All my life I've tried not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, not men".

    One of the few bits of dialogue that Coppola didn't write, for, "The Godfather".

    Keep up the good work.

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    1. I love that quote-not sure why I never caught it in all my viewings, before you brought it to my attention.

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  3. Some extra tough 'tough love' from the Lord Bison today! All good advice. I don't remember if it was this site or somewhere else, but somebody recently commented about looking at photos from the 70's and 80's and noticing that there just wasn't the proliferation of fat motherfuckers like you see in society today.

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    1. Not that we ate better back then, per se, but we actually moved around, both at the job and at home.

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  4. Right. Self limiting or destructive retarded behaviors and actions will be a quicker bullet to the head fatal flaw then a horde of Zombie Bikers outside your compound wire. If a Minionite can identify and gain control of retardedness and keep it confined to non critical, nonfatal benign areas that would be a big step. Use a strong area ability to mitigate or eliminate any retarded mental or physical deformaties that are negative to survival abilities. I think having a counter answer or plan is one thing, but also having tangible steps or actions in play that works in concert towards mitigating or elimitaing those retarded examples is at least a self identifying step towards improvement. Its not excuses made, just as an example of cooking six pots on a four burner stove, under a time line deadline.

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    1. Six pots on a four burner-excellent analogy.

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  5. My mom actually thought that all autistic people are like Dustin Hoffman in rain man. I had to explain to her that that is indeed the rare autistic person.


    “But what have you done to help get there to that point, besides wish, or plan or strategize?  Did you buy some junk land, even if it isn’t exactly where you want to be?”


    I might be one of your bigger screw up minions. On the other hand, perhaps I’m doing better than many. I do have the junk land, though I’ve never been there yet. It’s one state away, and really, what I would have to do is to go there and stay there, in order to develop it, and guard it once I’ve done so. I do have job here however. It doesn’t pay well, but I’m afraid to walk away from it. I did buy a bag of feed store wheat. To be honest, I’ve never tried it, as I prefer a non-glowing gut. On the bright side (figuratively and literally) I wouldn’t have to worry about any parasites :D I do have somewhat of a bugout bag set up (I live in a rural area, so bugging out is actually a viable option). Also have about 8 wool blankets, and more than a few wool garments (I love wool, but it’s so damn expensive now, depending on the garment. Sweaters, and thrift store pants are still cheap though). Have had the guns and ammo now for many years. Not loads of ammo as some do, but I do have one of those large boxes (I think it’s 8-25 round boxes total?) of 12ga, bought at walmart back when it was still cheap, I think $25? Also one of those 500 rd .22lr boxes from back when they were $8, as well as many other boxes of both 12ga and .22. I have about 4 or 5 boxes of 9mm left over from the 1000 rounds that I got the sportsman’s guide for $120, several years ago. I also saved the brass, but don’t have the lee loader for the 9mm. I should get one. If I do, I’ll buy through your Amazon link.

    Elko minion

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    1. No, I'd say you are doing better than most. Why do you think I don't make fun of where you live now? :)

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    2. I should have specified that I’m not employed in the conventional sense of the word. I do have a part time side gig helping out a relative. I’m the minion that lost his job in 2015, and I’ve officially been out of the workforce since that time. The side gig doesn’t pay well (About $400 a month) but enough to meet my minimal bills.

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    3. All the more reason to stay there, really. Regular jobs both suck and are endangered. And living on that amount trains you to live poor.

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    4. Yes. 9:41 you are on the right path and making strides. Recommend that most persons in most circumstances or jobs to just stay out of formal workforce positions, if possible. They suck life out of your soul, waste YOUR valuable time and most are injurious eventually and unhealthy overall. (I stopped working 10 years early, bestest decision ever, even with reduced income) A redoubt bunker is not a survival policy that you "buy" and file away like important papers. Survivalism has to be "Lived" like a devotion and calling, Darwin demands it so.

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    5. "...12ga, bought at walmart..."

      Careful with that stuff if you're talking about the red Winchester boxes. Take a box out asap and see how well it shoots. I bought 4 of the 100 rd boxes and found out they don't like my Remington 870 Marine Magnum. They fire, but the brass part of the cartridge swells up and almost welds itself to the chamber and will not eject. I had to use a big wooden dowel and a hammer to get em out. Even after spending hours with a stone on the Dremel in the chamber they did that, so I labeled them as unshootable and boxed them separately. They are still good for tripwires and mousetraps on the perimeter. I'll never buy ammo at Walmart again. I did buy 2 bottles of Hoppes 9 there yesterday so I'm not completely anal.

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    6. Wally has its uses, but it is a crap shoot.

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    7. I usually will buy pyrodex from them at the end of the season when they red tag the remaining stock. Same with the Hoppes #9, the WM stores here cut the price in half at end of season

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    8. I was lucky and got my plastic shoes half off end of season. I rarely am so blessed.

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  6. I don't like it when you use the word retarded. My mommie says I am a very special person. she helps me read the bison prepper letter every morning before the little bus comes to take me to the special college i go to.
    i learn about oil and wheat and more about oil and wheat and then we learn together about when a boy and girl love each other alot they go out to a field and frack.
    i think you are very special to mr. Bison

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  7. Another sign of the End Times. Da Rat is giving HUGE raises to hourly "Guest Relations with Funny Hats". $2 an hour this year. Then .75 an hour annually till 2022.

    Usually got .33 a year. Not sure why. Housing costs in central Fl? Why would Da Rat start caring about its "Cast"?

    You are producing amazing articles of late Jim. Even better articles then you post-wage slave excellence.

    Planning to head out this year in Aug

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    1. You were only getting "official" inflation raises. Hell, what's a raise? I usually went decades in between. On articles, Thanks, and on Aug, glad to hear it.

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    2. Perhaps because John Morgan is currently pushing for the $15 minimum wage ? And as most Floridians know, when John Morgan advocates, it most times dictates the future trend. The Rat is likely just getting ahead of the game before what becomes inevitable...
      Rent cost has went exponential here, beyond crazy !

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    3. I thought rents already went crazy? They are getting worse? Is it East/West Coast crazy? My daughter was telling me the rates up in North Carolina. Beyond insane.

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    4. One bedroom apartment = $1,000 amount of insane.

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    5. Damn, okay, similar. I think I was quoted $2300 two bedroom. That is a city with jobs/less crime. The city she came from, actually in the ghetto, she had a house under a grand. I hope FL at least has jobs to go with those rents. You really have to wonder if we are Thiiiiis close to the bankers and elite bailing out, with this level of gouging.

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    6. Around here rent has went way up because there aren't many available places.
      I started at my current residence back about the time you left Flauduh. Our two bedroom was $600 rent then. Which was just fine by us , because the buying price in my opinion was too damn high. Plus we didn't plan on staying in flaFlau. But then landlady wanted to raise it to $800...screw that ! I bought it through the va and my payment is a hair over $700 including tax and insurance.That was with nothing down either ( VA is good like that ) it will work until we wanna get outta Dodge and who cares about defaulting... If by chance the economy stays together another couple years. At that point we might have to sell...just because we could profit enough to buy another comparable more remote place outright. Otherwise our location is good and we don't live in a HOA nor in the ghetto. In a very quiet place with woods all around...unless you count airplane noise ( were only a quarter mile from the runway lol ) with nothing but woods clear to the St. John's and only a few blocks from the Indian River.
      So was less than renting and I can do whatever to it...
      Of course later when I got invalidated , just the thought of moving would be nightmarish.
      If I'm gonna move , it will only be out to the swamp place twenty miles away.

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    7. That certainly isn't a bad deal, compared to almost anywhere. Still a shame, compared to the historical rates. But what can you do except on on to the bitter end.

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  8. I do have to point out that my (potential) T-34 tank is used, thus frugal.

    And as for movies? Watching Fight Club right now.

    Wow. I have no idea how they every made such a truthful movie.

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    1. Buying used is recycling. Re Fight Club, I thought we weren't supposed to be talking about Fight Club.

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    2. Sorry, sir.

      Back to project Mayhem.

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  9. “Careful with that stuff if you're talking about the red Winchester boxes”


    Thanks for the heads up. I just checked, and both the 12ga and the .22lr are the Federal brand. By coincidence, I also have a Remington 870. But mine is a vintage model, circa 1960’s, so one imagines that QC was a little better at the time. But it doesn’t matter for me, since I never shoot the 870, and would be putting them through both my single shot and double barrel break action guns, and extracting a bad shell in either, is a relatively simple affair. I also have a bunch of Winchester AA hulls that I got years ago, along with my Mec 600 Jr reloader, that I paid $50 for in 1978, when I was 14 years old. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s what I paid for my Stevens model 9478 12ga the same year.

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    1. That is what I love about Lee ( hallowed be his name ). Reloading at poor boy prices.

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    2. I just looked them up Jim. The reloader looks identical to my 1978 model. It now costs $239. I suppose that if you take into account our devalued dollar, it really hasn’t gone up much at all. I do believe that there is a really simple way to home reload shotshells, with no special equipment, because I looked it up before for the .410 (They cost more than the 12ga, which is another reason to avoid this chambering in general. Though they do serve a purpose in survival. Think the M6 scout).

      https://www.amazon.com/MEC-600-Mark-Gauge-Press/dp/B000KOPUPG

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    3. I was thinking more along the lines of the cost of the reloader compared to the firearm. Yeah, I hate the 410 just because of the cost. Although, I think you can use a 45 Colt instead.

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    4. Though it does serve in a defensive role, the more I think about it, the more I tend to think that a shotgun is not the most practical survival weapon (I’m mostly referring to survival hunting here). The shells are too bulky, and really, the only advantage that it would have is to take birds on the wing. But in a survival situation, it is foolish to risk shells by shooting at birds in flight (There is no sport in this scenario, only survival). A .22lr would be a better choice, and really, in many cases you could replace that .22lr with a good nitro piston .22 cal pellet rifle, which is silent and powerful, and would draw far less attention. I spent a $100 on a decent .22 cal Crosman Nitro Piston air rifle a while back. While I don’t shoot it that often, I feel that it was money well spent, and don’t regret it.

      Really, it’s a good idea to practice with a variety of low tech weapons. Bows (Not of the compound variety) and slingshots require lots of practice, but they can be highly effective game getters. I’ve researched it a lot (Recall my guest article a while back) and have come to the conclusion that the lowly slingshot is the most cost effective option. The steel shot is pretty cheap, as is the rubber band material. Yes, the rubber is an oil age product, but since it’s cheap enough, it’s also easy enough to stock enough to last more than a lifetime. You need to make a trap target so that you do not lose your shot, until you can get good enough. But the lowly slingshot can be surprisingly effective with lots of practice, and the 1/2” shot can actually take decent sized game.

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    5. I'd rather go through the bother of stocking rubber tubing than worry about spare parts for a pellet gun, anyway. If you can only afford one.

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    6. Research what it takes to store that tubing-banding long term. Last year I threw out a bunch of 10 year old surgical tubing that basically turned to powder. It was still in the original unopened bag and had whitish powder on the tubing. It had darkened and when I stretched it is snapped right away. I've experienced similar behavior with 10 year old bungee cords.

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    7. I researched it before GS. Basically, you don’t want to get them wet. And you want to store surplus bands in a cool, dry, dark place, as free of oxygen as possible. I was going to vacuum pack the bulk of it, in various packages (Say, one bag per 3 slingshot bands, or something along those lines) and then refrigerate it. It probably isn’t necessary to vacuum pack it, as long as you put it in a zip lock bag, but for long term storage, that’s what I plan on doing.

      I have a wrist rocket band that is many years old, but the package was never opened, and it was in a box, and it’s still good. I’m in the west, with low humidity, so that might be going in my favor.

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