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GEAR QUEERS

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note: free books.  YA PA https://amzn.to/2yFTOb5 .  Zombie https://amzn.to/2yCuYss .  Another one https://amzn.to/2MTSMeu . 
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note: here is one article on the existing silver stocks globally.  Yes, they could be wrong-after all, they were pimping for Bitcoin.  Or, they could be right click here .  Now, here is an article from Daily Reckoning, who I'd trust in most cases, making the same argument.  click here .  And that was twelve years ago.  And I'm just now hearing of this?
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For close to my first year of “self-employment” ( it is hard to think of myself as a business owner when I vomit discontent and hate into the digital graveyard and people actually pay me to do so-but believe me I appreciate it anyway! ), I stayed busier than a dog without back legs trying to pee on a curb while staying dry, mostly by fixing eleven years of neglect being an editor, and almost doubling the number of books I publish.  Well, at this time the book muse is on vacation, and you can’t force that lazy bastard back to work-he gets to it when he gets to it.  And my web site and archieving is finally caught up.  So what occupies my time every day?  Mostly worrying about stupid crap.

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I don’t know how much of my perceived danger early warning system is genuine and how much is just Too Much Time On My Hands, although I really can’t see being too wrong by being extra paranoid.  But I find myself watching all these YouTube video’s as I pass the time on the exercise bike or rolling cigarettes so I can raise my middle finger at our glorious RINO governor, telling him to eat a dingus and die and he can keep his store bought cigarettes and their extra taxes.  And I can feel the effect on my extra sensitive brain.  I’ve immersed myself too far into the Pony Prepper universe. 

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I watched forty minutes just on polymer 80% receivers the other day, rolling extra cigarettes just to keep watching, and I don’t NEED any more information on them, nor will I ever ( well, 99% sure I’ll never ) want a AR-15, even if for no other reason than I need extra punch up here in our open windy terrain.  And I was never all that great at the range with the thing, so the extra accuracy would be lost of me.  And I certainly don’t need a semi-auto rifle.  If you are sniping away at 300 yards, why is an extra speedy mag change all that important, and why don’t you have time to cycle a bolt?

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Yes, I know, you negate the need to break cheek weld and etc.  I get that.  If you want a semi, I can’t talk you out of it.  It has advantages, certainly.  But being poor and saving on your ammo stockpile isn’t one of them.  So then, why the hell was I wasting half my video time today watching a presentation of the HK-91 clone as a survivalist rifle?  It isn’t because I haven’t run into most of this information during the last forty years.  It isn’t because there was nothing else to watch.  It isn’t because I’m going to break my consumer fast and turn greenbacks into gear.  It isn’t because I want to be a Gear Queer.

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Almost all of us are consumer hoarders.  I stuff every nook and cranny not devoted to prepping supplies with books, buying extra used travel trailers and vans for more storage.  I pretend books make me smarter, but then, every hoarder justifies his crap, doesn’t he?  Then they come out with Kindle books and I double down on paper books, thinking I better lay in my copy before the day only e-books are available, at least without a carbon tax ( not that this wouldn’t be far behind with e-books, as they use coal powered electric ).  Doubling down on wasteful behavior.  So now I’m wondering if guns aren’t just my new books, justifying wasteful consumerism.

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I really don’t think I’ll buy any more guns, although I should.  But you can use that “grass is greener” argument about everything.  One reason the Better Than Nothing rule is best stuck with.  Before you know it, you quit your job, get a divorce, move out of state and dye your hair.  You start to think happiness is one credit card purchase away.  I know better than to think I’ll fall for the hype to upgrade or ratchet up my perceived security, forearms wise.  Since I overanalyze everything, I’m still safely in the “two years to make up my mind after painful deliberations” phase.  What worries me is that if I don’t stop thinking about the subject, I’ll think on it way too long and eventually pull the cord just to stifle my inner voice.

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I am by no means bored.  Every day flies by and I sit down to read and I notice the day is nearly done and I have no idea where it went.  I’ll say I’m just unfocused.  I’m letting distractions intrude far more than usual.  Like shopping around for storage media to publish on, knowing any purchase is a waste as I’ll buy a 100 pack bulk stack and sell a half dozen in the next two years.  That is just twenty years of experience talking, and yet I look anyway.  Just like I know better than to assume a piece of equipment will even somewhat compensate for my lack of coordination. 

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As I said, I dare not ignore my muse.  The muse tells you to jump, you ask how high.  Screwing with the muse is dangerous.  I would like to know WHY, however.  Why am I on this consumerist window shopping shtick?  Am I going through withdrawal?  Am I thinking extra guns are a security blanket because I smell extra danger?  I never enjoyed buying.  Even looking for books became a chore after a time.  I used to go years living on nothing and almost never shopping.  Some months, I treated myself to an issue of Forbes magazine ( back when I believed them about economics ) and that was my entire non-food purchase for the month ( I already had cigarettes stocked up ).

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I think this is an instinctive reaction to perceived danger.  Just like I took my cash out of the bank, I also worry now if I have enough guns and ammo.  I mean, I THINK I do.  But then, I never worry about food anymore.  Past filling up soda and juice bottles with flour or sugar, and that is merely a variety from wheat kernels issue, I don’t worry about having enough food.  I feel secure there.  So, if I keep worrying about guns and ammo and protection, is that my subconscious telling me to worry more?  Or is it just my muse picking subject matter to file away, especially since I went long periods of time never focusing on firearms ( it being further down the list of important items )? 

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See, now I’m worrying about what I’m worrying about.  Being a writer just seems easier than it really is.  Your body takes it easy but your brain melts down from too high of revs.  Tomorrow I’d like to discuss how simple guns and arsenals are and why most of us are just Gear Queers about them.

END ( today's related link https://amzn.to/2MJ4w3p )

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