boot knife drama

BOOT KNIFE DRAMA

As I already mentioned and yet no one responded to with concerned inquiries so now I know where we all stand thank you very much, a few weeks ago I wrote an article on epoxy which had the awesome title “A (e)pox(y) on your house”.  In fact, in nine out of ten surveys this emerges as the most witty and clever title of all time and should be acknowledged as such.  I had to delete it because after I gushed approvingly over epoxy-and a brand name one at that which I won’t mention but usually involves advertisements in which a car is held up by one drop of glue- the crap failed on me repeatedly.  I had ordered a boot knife through Amazon, a Rothco brand which was affordable and good looking and genuine leather sheathed and I thought looked snazzy with my black slacks and polo shirt work uniform ( and glossy combat boots- let’s just face facts and admit I’ll leave a damn good looking corpse although that begs the question why legions of breeders are not begging me to leave them a sample of my DNA ).  The problem was, the clip on the sheath was not real strong. Strong enough so the thing wouldn’t pop off and get lost, but not really strong enough to stay on my belt as I drew the knife in practice runs where I stood against the forces of attacking zombies or starving Yuppie Soccer Moms.  I tried to epoxy the clip closed to alleviate this issue.

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Well, not once but twice I bought a dollar one time use tube of metal epoxy and tried to get the bastard to work.  Alas, to no avail.  I even ordered another knife, which was NOT easy.  First, I went around town to the Big 5 and the ranch store and a few others and tried to find a belt knife.  You can find folders all day long but not so easy with a fixed blade.  Those you did find had crappy sheaths.  I wanted a dress knife, apparently a category I just invented because retails had 70% folders and 30% big huge ugly knives only suitable for camping or hiking.  Oh, the folders are nice looking, and are not ostentatious, but if a pack of coyotes attacks me at five AM on my bike, I really don’t have time to stop, ask for a time out and unfold the only weapon I have after my can of wasp spray runs dry.  Even the brand Buck, NOT in the least affordable, has gone to ugly canvas sheaths instead of leather.  Bastards couldn’t afford leather for a $60 knife?  Next up, I went shopping at Amazon, looking for a small blade with a leather sheath.  The closest I found was a $16 all black one, but it was over nine inches long.  I can’t sit in the truck with that kind of length.  The boot knife is something like a smidge under seven inches and it sits real high- so it stays out of the way.  In the end, I stayed with the boot knife but cut out a bit of the leather on the back so that the clip rests on metal instead of the leather as it originally did.  It doesn’t slide off nearly as easy now, although it isn’t perfect.  The trials and tribulations.

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