Saturday, August 22, 2015

golden sodomy award


THE GOLDEN SODOMY AWARD

Even after a lifetime of observing the human condition of idiocy as default setting, even after returning every day from work wondering how any business organization can possibly survive while hemorrhaging money as a result of a management team headed by Jerry’s Kids, even after chocking on my own saliva as I sputter and gag every time I see that big ass ears baboon half breed Kenyan doing his shuck and jive for the teleprompter, I still am able to find something so outlandishly moronic that everything previous to that pales in comparison.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you

www.forgesurvivalsupply.com    with their one of a kind bug out bag priced at an incredible $3,500.  Not $350 with me accidentally adding a zero, no.  Three thousand five hundred dollars.  Not Yen, Dollars.  Up to this time I thought any jag off bendajo puta twat that was insane enough to spend three grand on a FLIR scope was the global lead contender for being awarded the Golden Sodomy Recipient Award.  Here was some dim bulb thinking he was cleaver dropping three grand on a super deluxe toy to place atop his twelve hundred dollar AR ( with pistol grip extender forestock, ninty-round drum mag and duel flashlight/laser mounts ) when in point of fact for less money he could own his own property, with Unibomber shack, a stash of wheat, a break open or bolt rifle with a spam can of commie ammo AND a water filter good for several thousand gallons.  Living out in the boonies, you don’t need to see human heat signatures behind walls.  See what I’m saying?

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Well, the afore mentioned yahoos have now been awarded the New Golden Sodomy Award for presenting the new worlds record for highest price survival item guaranteed to hump any drooling idiot who happens to want to buy one.  I can’t conceive of anyone wanting a bug out bag in this price range, but then I thought I’d never see the day any sane person would buy a quarter million dollar home, a $150k mobile home, a truck costing $700 a month or a $20 a pound steak ( although I‘d wager your average prepper is guilty of two out of three minus the steak [ he is saving up for the BOB ] ).  So, I’m sure some gumba will order one on up, to go, with a side of K-Y jelly.  I don’t blame the idiots of the world for being lured into the slaughterhouse.  That is how they roll.  But I do find it hard to see how any company could offer such an item while feeling good about themselves.  How they sleep at night or look in the mirror while shaving.  For over three grand for a backpack, they should be delivering it personally, throwing in a complementary hand-job and then kissing my ass.  Seriously, dudes, just because a sucker is born every minute doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of them.  Sheesh!

END
 
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16 comments:

  1. Perhaps they are for sale to government or major corporate procurement officers. After all, FEMA says everyone should have one, and corporate and government procurement officers are looking to spend the maximum to grow their budgets not spend the least - it isn't THEIR money...

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    1. Well, it ain't exactly an $800 toilet seat, but I suppose that is the point. Now, rather than an 80x retail mark up it is "only" 10 or 20 and that slips under the radar. As for corporate, when doesn't HQ waste money in dept. A when B is in desperate need for basic tools to keep customers? Good thinking.

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  2. Oh Lord Bison of the Goldilocks of Legend, they can sleep well at night because :
    1- they know that these customers are so dumb they will inevitably die within the first days, and nothing nor anybody can prevent that from happening
    2- thus some more ressources have been salvaged from the doomed and re-routed to the survival of their own.

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    Replies
    1. Okay, darn good point. Please forgive me for being in such shock that I wasn't thinking clearly.

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  3. I do like that Eberlestock pack itself but at $400 it is at least 4X over priced. So I'll stick with my 40 year old ALICE pack that I have long term direct experience with.

    BTW, that rig has 3 different cooking systems, why?
    Mine has 1 and it'd fit in a shirt pocket.
    Srsly, how much cookin are you gonna do while you're *buggin out*?
    Maybe someone should invent a blow-up full size couch complete with end tables and coffee table, remote controlled roll up big screen and a quart of powdered Bud Light - just add crick water and stir that all fits in a small fanny pack and weighs less than 1 lb.

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    1. Hmmmm. Powdered beer is a definite winner of an idea. Just add a small vial of pure-ish alcohol.

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    2. Must.Not.Be.Inconvenienced.by.grid-down.

      http://www.yorktonthisweek.com/news/local-news/going-off-grid-without-sacrificing-comfort-1.1761514

      Ha ha ha ha.

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    3. I noticed that the people in your article, pdxr13, seem highly likely to have a mortgage on their farm.
      If things go poorly for them economically I would guess they will loose their sweet little setup.

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    4. I believe pdx was in full sarcasm mode with the link.

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  4. Dang . . . I think I might have bought that $20 steak. It was a very big, locally raised steak, but still. In my defense, I keep a fine wife happy -a wife who just put together another bug out bag out of stuff we had lying around the house. If I've got to grill up an amazing meal now and then, so be it.

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    Replies
    1. Of course, in your defense, with your winters you need lots of fat and protein.

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  5. Nope, not guilty of even one of those sins.

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    1. Hey, Spud, would you please e-mail me your full name and snail mail address. I keep forgetting to get that info when I go out to my place ( usually dragging my partially melted down ass behind me-I swear the humidity here is higher than normal ).

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  6. Great post oh Ye with the Magnificent Hair! I am guilty of a new truck but as I have a long commute, need a truck for side work and hauling I bit the bullet. Did I buy a full sized 4-door leather everything? Hell no. A 4 banger Toyota that should give me a couple 100,000 miles. Looked for used but they don't depreciate very quick. My side work pays the note and then some. Not guilty of the other spending.

    I scored 2 free bugout bags the other day. Several knives, 550 cord, multi tools, 3 pairs of binoculars, A very nice "machete" type knife, first aid supplies, 2 scopes, a mini stove, a working Garmin GPS, and some other gear. I wouldn't buy a GPS but for free i'll deal with the guilt.

    Made for a good day.



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  7. But..but...but you get free shipping with orders of $199.00 or more!

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    Replies
    1. Which is why I wasn't even more harsh in my criticism. Notice how I restrained myself? :)

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