may we panic?

MAY WE PANIC?

Please, Sir, may we 'ave another panic attack? Today I want to talk about relying on other people to tell you when to panic. I don't mean you are reading and researching and decide X is a disaster of biblical proportions just about to happen ( cough, Peak Oil, cough, hack, cough, Olduvai Theory, cough ). I mean, people asking experts when exactly they should panic. So, I'm reading Aesop over at Raconteur Report and one of his readers ask, when should I bug out over this Ebola thing? Now, don't take this the wrong way. I do NOT blame the reader for asking this question.

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This is a perfectly rational question. At what point should I drop my beer and grab my gear? This is after all life and death. The problem with the question is you shouldn't HAVE to answer it. Not because it is a stupid question but because bugging out needs to be a secondary option, and never the primary one. We've talked about this. If you must ask “when”, it is human nature to lie to yourself that it never will be. You NEVER bet against human nature. Not as a survivalist, anyway. I can see ignoring it sometimes.

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When you have a blushing bride so young and juicy nothing is sagging yet, you NEVER say to yourself, self, that bitch is going to hump me like I've never been humped before, and not in a good way, because that is just what bitches do. No, you ignore human nature and try to hit that until you wear out Wee Willie. But once you got over the spawning phase of your life and started devoting more attention to the areas outside your bedroom ( or couch, or on top of the dryer, or in the men's room at Burger King ), you realize Crap Just Got Real, yo.

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Meaning people are asswhores. I look back at my twenties and ask myself why I was so sociable back then and now everyone repulses me. At first I thought, people are living through the death of the high trust society and are acting accordingly. Or, the death of our tribal unity. Now I realize, I just had zero clue how rotten people are anyway. I was blinded by boobs. Nice, plump ones, granted. Ginormous ones that ended up costing me over a hundred grand ( near ten years gross wages, subtracting my outlier paying job, or casino gratuities ). Ah, boobs.

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Where was I? Human nature. You always make an excuse. The wife will be pissed if I'm wrong ( if mamma is on the warpath, there will be buried bodies ). I'll lose my job if I'm wrong. Perhaps the threat is overblown. You take my meaning. Just call us Alibi Ike. We'll wait until our housing division street looks like a scene out of a bad zombie movie. We wait, if for no other reason than The News Lies. Let me repeat that. THE NEWS LIES!!! As Mogambo would say, three explanation marks make it special and worthy of panic.

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Look, I can see wanting to be informed when a hurricane is coming. I never considered bugging out, but that was just the price of not having a car. Personally, I think if you live there you better be living in a spot that won't be underwater, but I can still see the attraction of going. But Ebola? That is like asking, where do I go when the nukes start falling? I mean, where COULD you go?

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Oh, you could go somewhere that was better. I worked with a guy as the Soviet Union was breaking up who asked me just that, where? He had a motor home and we were east of Sacramento California nestled just at the foothills. Not exactly a huge metro area, but this WAS Cali and even back then most places had too many people. I told him he was probably okay from fallout just headed north a bit. Of course, that was JUST fallout. He still had overpopulation and lack of food supplies to contend with. He was just buying days or weeks.

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The point during a nuke war was if you bugged out you were NOT going to be safe. It is the exact same with Ebola. You are safe in the bunker, but not if you have to get TO the bunker. Simply, there is no fleeing Ebola unless you are at the head of the exodus, so early that you do endanger your marriage and your job. Now, how many of you are going to go there? If you think Ebola is going to get really real, you bunker in. If you have to do so at your present location, go to Home Depot and start. Today.

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If where you are at is too problematic, you either move now or most likely you are screwed. Because why? Because The News Lies! They will lie about an Ebola Bitch getting into the country ( as it might have already happened ). They will lie about one in your local hospital ( oh, yeah, don't need to be in a hospital, at all, going forward ). They will lie about the authorities investigating or trying to contain. They. Will. Just. Lie. Period. What part of that confuses you?

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Get this through your head. The US is the THIRD LARGEST country in the world by population. We are just behind black plague and leprosy India and Too Many Multi-tens-of-millions-of-people Cities China. We might have plenty of land but our people group together in Calcutta Crapholes. All those people are dangerous. Going out among them is dangerous. Charlie is outside the wire. Why do you want to go outside the wire? Why is any of this confusing? And I can hear it now. But Jim, my job. But Jim, my trophy wife. But Jim, my aging parents.

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But, Minion, SO HUMPING WHAT! If you can't make those relatively not that hard of decisions, you won't be able to make any life and death ones. I guaran-damn-tee you. If you CHOOSE to stay in the wrong location, fine. That is your choice. You made it. You chose love or commitment or luxury. But you cannot also choose Greater Probabilities Of Survival. So stop worrying. The odds are you will die. And? So? What of it? What is your point? As survivalists we know exactly what is coming. We know what we must do. If you DON'T do it, you know your odds.

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This guy is asking, Aesop, when should I run away from Ebola? Well, Spanky, you can't. You can TRY. You can run from hurricanes until the day your insurance company stops paying for your drowned house. You can run from a slowly unfolding economic collapse ( although you lose each time as entropy shows you what a bitch you are ). You can run from OtherColor immigration. But a few things you cannot run from, such as nuclear war and Ebola. SOME folks will succeed by trying. Almost all will not. Almost any plan other than running is probably better.

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If you are betting on long odds, most likely you lose. So why worry about timing? You either leave BEFORE Ebola, because as soon as everyone knows about it your odds go from 100% survival to about ONE, or you don't worry about timing because the odds stay at that 1% the entire time. In our JIT economy, just a few people panicking ruin bugging out for everyone else. Days before the hurricane and the roads are clogged and the gas is gone. How much worse do you think Ebola will be? So, ether crap or get off the pot.

( .Y. )

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