how to eat wheat 2

HOW TO EAT WHEAT BOOK 2

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note: I love this guy: srs rocco, on deflation click here .  I trust you've been reading him regularly?  I include this here only because I'll be doing a booklet on inflation soon.  I might very well be wrong on the inflation/deflation argument.  Not that my article should cause you any harm, but get both views.
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note: SF in TX, many thanks for yet ANOTHER donation.  Appreciate it, just don't over do it so you start to resent and hate me and then you're added to the long list of ex-wives, bosses, bald men, and the like. 
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note: JS, just got your Patreon pledge.  Most excellent, thanks.
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COOKING WHOLE

I highly recommend a wheat grinder of course, but you don’t absolutely need one.  In fact, not needing one used to be the only way to avoid paying your local liege another tax as he forbade personal grain milling and charged you to use his.  Not that you paid as much tax back then in total, today’s sales tax alone in most states being a third of your total tax back then.  But not everyone is going to have a grinder because they were too busy buying AR clips instead.  So cooking without a grinder is a good skill set.  Sprouted wheat berries don’t need to be cooked.  Just sprouting them makes them edible.  The texture is close to cooked wheat.  To cook the berries, soak overnight.  Now boil until it swells and becomes soft, a process no different than cooking rice, really.  You can serve this way in place of rice dishes in a meal, the taste kinda close to brown rice ( if as “kinda” you mean how soy “kinda” tastes like meat ).  To make Thermos cooked wheat, soak overnight and then bring to a boil and throw in the Thermos for a few hours.  You’ll need to experiment with this, you might need to keep at a boil for a few minutes, or not.  If you have a pressure cooker you are on easy street.  A layer of wheat, followed by water above the wheat to the same height ( if one inch of wheat, fill water to one inch above wheat ), cook until the little pressure toggle deal chirps and remove from heat.  Allow to sit until it depressurizes and by then it is cooked.  Open and serve.

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You can make popped wheat, similar to popcorn but not like wheat puffs you see in the cereal section of the supermarket ( which are inexpensive and a fun/easy way to introduce the family to whole wheat.  I wouldn’t recommend them with milk, per se, but just munching on dry or drizzling with melted butter for a movie snack they are tasty.  I’d even consider carrying them rather than GORP or granola if you don’t like those tastes.  They are a bit bulky but taste better than a lot of whole wheat foods and can be eaten on the go ).  Just add your wheat berries to a VERY hot skillet and make like popcorn.  No oil is needed.  The roasted/parched berries can be eaten as is.  So, for cooking wheat without a grinder you have sprouts, sprout paste bread ( essence bread ), gruel, rice substitute or popped kernels.

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COOKING WITH FLOUR

All the details of buying wheat, storing it, adding beans for complete protein, grinders and the like are at the end of this book.  Those are subjects I’ve covered many times before and don’t take precedence here.  Let’s move on to bachelor food, wheat items that a typically clumsy male flailing about in the kitchen can easily accomplish.  My favorite is flat bread.  Think of it as a tortilla, but with whole wheat rather than white flour and without lard.  If you like white tortillas they are rather filling and if plastic wrapped well easily last a year in the fridge so they can be a good “bug-in” easy food for the initial die-off phase.  But flat bread is super deluxe yummy and filling and much healthier.  I ate them for lunch every workday for years at a heavy labor job, which is how good they are filling you up and giving you energy ( and being very easy on the food budget ).  You take your flour and add as little water as possible.  You don’t want them moist but as dry as possible while still forming a dough you can roll.

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Take the dough rolled in balls ( you’ll figure out how big after you make a few and see if they fit into your pan ) and dust with flour and roll flat with the board and the rolling pin dusted in flour.  Keep turning over and rolling until you get it as thin as you can.  Then, with your dry skillet so hot a drop of water dances on it, you throw in your flat dough.  Every thirty seconds or a minute you’ll be turning the bread.  The idea is to minimize the charcoal black spots.  Don’t worry, you’ll easily figure out a rhythm.  Have all your dough ready to go, if stacked dust with flour between each one to avoid sticking, cooking one after another.  You can squeeze the bread and tell if it is fully cooked or still doughy-and it doesn’t take all that long.  How many do you want for a meal?  A quarter cup of flour is 100 calories, and you’ll be adding butter ( and remember that whole wheat is filling ).  After about 400-600 calories in wheat alone, I’m usually past done masticating and full.  But of course, YMMV.

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As insanely tasty and addicting as flat bread is, you’ll usually spend an hour or two each week rolling and cooking and cleaning dried dough from every surface ( a failing in most wheat cooking ) and sometimes the extra taste treat isn’t worth the effort.  If this is the case you can make Nuke Bread much easier.  I invented this by happy accident when I didn’t want to buy my lunch one day and the break room had a bag of flour in it and nothing else.  I dumped some flour in a coffee cup, added water to a waffle batter consistency and spread the thing on a disposable plate and kept nuking until it looked done ( usually three minutes ), then flipped it over and cooked again.  It tasted like crap compared to flat bread but there was near zero prep time and no clean up.  I continued this practice for years at my last job, as I was living off grid and didn’t want to use my propane for cooking, and ate nuke bread every workday breakfast and lunch. 

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As I said, it doesn’t taste great.  I ate while driving in between picking up donations so my mind was elsewhere other than the taste.  The reason it tastes bad is because the moisture.  So here is a better method that takes a little longer and is a bit messier but radically improves on taste.  Take your flour, I usually do a half cup per bread, and add exactly one half that amount in water ( in my case, a quarter cup ).  In that bowl, use a fork to get all the flour wet.  It barely sticks together.  Place on a ceramic plate and spread out with the fork.  Nuke one minute on each side for soft bread, one and a half for harder.  Two minutes to a side usually burns part of it and makes it almost too hard to chew without worrying about dental work.  When you turn it you’ll need a spatula as it sticks.  And that is it.  It feels moist and gooey after a minute per side but as it cools ( keep off a flat surface to avoid condensation-I usually rest it on the electric stove coil ) the consistency improves.  As with flat bread, keep in the fridge until the morning you’ll take it to lunch.  Continued

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