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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

sucking ass through a straw 2


SUCKING ASS THROUGH A STRAW 2

Well, big ta-do’s here at Bison’s crappy little corner of the desert.  Not only did I have that epiphany yesterday, it actually made me think.  I didn’t dismiss it or rationalize it away.  I actually recognized my own Normalcy Bias and took a stand.  No, you vile glob of grey goo!  I shan’t listen to your feeble attempts at swindling me!  Jesus, for decades the Little Brain dictated that I should show no restraint in getting laid, with no other considerations allowed, and them my Big Brain had me just going through the motions with no regard to reality.  It was wake up, go to work, exercise on the bike to work the best part of the work day, try to minimize job stress through writing after I got home, buying gobs of books I never read to reward myself for writing-it was a damn disgrace I tells ‘ya.  It was a wasted life.  I fight and claw and work two jobs for decades and in the end I’m sticking my thumb up my ass.  What am I waiting on, an engraved invitation to come up for air?  Well, yesterday’s writing wasn’t much more than just cranking out another standard article and normally it would have amounted to naught, but I guess it was the straw that broke the camels back.

*

( get it?  Sucking ass through a straw, STRAW that broke the camels back?  No?  Damn, tough crowd tonight )

The NOL was feeling chatty yesterday when she got back from work and I wasn’t really feeling like burying my face in the computer just yet, so we got to yakking.  You know, just bitching about work to unburden.  And I started in on how I was about ready to tell work to bite me.  No big deal, a standard conversation.  Hell, I’ve had THAT conversation at least once a week for the last 34 years in my own head.  But I found out that NOL hadn’t even spent any of the rent money I’ve given her for the last two years, just putting it in savings.  And suddenly, there was the piece of the puzzle.  If she hadn’t been banking on my contribution, it wasn’t like me not working was a real big deal.  I mean, for my own pride, I have to help out.  It just wasn’t necessary that I do so completely monetarily ( I’m fit and virile and do the physical chores around the place as it is, eight years junior to the NOL and without arthritis ). 

*

We soon get distracted with cooking and game time and reading and TV, and before you know it,  it is bed time.  Now, I have a hard time sleeping in and it isn’t often I can get over seven hours of sleep.  But I can fall asleep almost instantly and go back to sleep if awoken.  But last night, I laid wide awake with my little pea brain buzzing ( and let me tell you, I had no idea that darn pug/beagle could snore so frigging loud until I was subjected to it for two hours ).  I hadn’t been up like that for over eight years.  Well, I know the signal.  It is my subconscious telling me to stop humping around and take a leap of faith.  And this morning, only slightly punchy from lack of sleep, I put in my two weeks notice at work.  Finally.  After far too many years of being bespat upon and mistreated ( I still love the mission there, but the boss’ SUCK ).  No big deal, you say.  I’ve done it more than once and I’ve always found a job quickly to replace it.

*

This time, however, I’m not looking for another.  It might come to that, the future is murky, but for now I am DONE with sucking ass through a straw as an employee.  I’ll be honest, I’m scared crapless.  I’ve never been without a paycheck every two weeks.  But I realized that what I wrote of yesterday was just more justification of the status quo.  Going to work with a worse attitude is still, in the end, just going to work.  I am still providing job security for the boss with my underpaid efforts ( it isn’t that I expect to be well paid at a non-profit.  It is the point that I shouldn’t work harder for less, AND still have to receive a ration of crap on top of that ).  I friggin hate that bitch-I haven’t had as bad of an incompetent corporate lacky boss since the military.  So, I’m working hard and sucking ass to help her out, why?  I was merely going to work through three decade old habit.  And I wasn’t living what I was preaching.

*

I know for a gold plated fact that mass unemployment is just around the corner.  I’m convinced beyond all shadow of a doubt that economic meltdown is immanent.  No one will have jobs then, so why am I still working?  To save more money that won’t be worth spit soon?  I might only make half at writing that I did punching a clock, but I was saving almost half anyway, in anticipation of either company bankruptcy, local economic implosion after the mining sector tanked, or mass national economic collapse.  In the long run, I don’t lose anything by jumping into self-employment.  Only fear and habit kept me from leaping before.  The ex-wife was paid off in 2012, as was my land, as was the B-POD constructed from savings.  I’ve been a dumbass to work for others since then.  Well, except I got a LOT of preps done and I met the NOL at work, so it wasn’t as much a total waste as it was a misdirected conviction of habit. 

*

Still, five years of putting up with the embarrassment of sucking ass through a straw when it was preventable.  Oh, well, supposedly better late than never.  So, here is the deal.  I’m going to start on the new house project to stay in shape physically, obviously.  I’m NOT going to give up this decades worth of muscle building until old age forces me to.  And I’m going to double up on my writing.  You’ll get Saturday’s now, so six days a week instead of five for the blog.  The rest of the time I’ll be writing books and or magazines.  They pay for crap, but I’ve got to make writing my day job now.  You have one week to buy any of my books you desire at the low price, then I’ll be raising the cost.  I’ll be a bit of a Mr. Mom ( of course, without the children that usually entails.  Just call me House Bitch ).  I can survive on $200 a month ( the average over the last few years I get from writing ) without Food Stamps and without too much of a rape of my savings ( $100 for a smidge of rent, electric and water-it was $240, and fifty in food-I’ll go back to eating whole wheat breakfast and lunch, and fifty for incidentals I can’t avoid such as bike parts, web site and e-mail fees, visiting my parents ).  I’m literally begging you here-PLEASE keep up your support by buying through the Amazon ads.  I’ll keep up my end of the bargain, by writing such as I have ( no selling out with lowest common denominator pabulum to catch more yuppie scum readers ), throw in an extra day’s article ( I’m hoping I don’t run out of ideas-if I do I’ll have to resort to “retro weekend” type articles that are rewritten but still based on another years ago ) and perhaps churn out fiction ( I promise, I’ve been researching proper instruction books so you get bonus items like a plot and character arcs ). 

( P.S.-I completely spaced what I had originally conceived as the continuation of yesterdays article.  Lack of sleep and eclipsing events.  I hope the two articles joined together adequately ).

END

Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon ad graphics at the top of the page.  IF YOU DON’T SEE THE AD, DISABLE AD BLOCK ( go to the Ad Blocker while on my page and scroll down the menu to “disable this site” ). You can purchase anything, not just the linked item. Enter Amazon through my item link and then go to whatever other item you desire. As long as you don’t leave Amazon until after the order is placed, I get credit for your purchase.  For those that can’t get the ads because they are blocked by your software, just mail a Greenback occasionally or buy some of my books.  Pay your author-no one works for free.  I’m nice enough to publish for barely above Mere Book Money, so do your part.***  *Contact Information*  Links To Other Blogs *  Land In Elko*  Lord Bison* my bio & biblio*   my web site is www.bisonprepper.com  *wal-mart wheat*Link To All My Published Books
* By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there

42 comments:

  1. WOW, most of us NEVER live what we preach....I never buy from amazon but I'll start asking my NOL to buy through your link. Good luck with construction of the new an improved Bison Fort.

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    1. I'll be offering books and or magazine through both Lulu and Amazon to supplement the commissions. I might offer a CD through the mail for those who don't buy at all online. The construction is a ways away. I'll be digging for one or two years first.

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    2. 2 years!
      Optimistic arent we?

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    3. I did 20 feet in one year last time, while working. I think I can do 50 feet in 2 without working. One year is just possible since I'm only going four feet deep rather than six. More windows, or at least more insulation. At four feet I can still sling the dirt up and over and don't need to use the wheelbarrow.

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    4. Not the construction, but the optimism we'll even be here in two years.
      your paranoia is fading.

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    5. NEIN!!! I've already got the materials to upgrade the old B-POD. The new digging/potential house is just make work to keep me in shape. I'll be fine with what I have on hand now. Paranoia fading my wrinkled white ass. You insult me, sir! :)

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  2. What a wonderful glorious head of hair you have!
    NOW you're my hero. My wonderful wife (#3) is still on me to quit work and be house husband. I'm chicken shit scared to quit as I'm not sure what I'd do with my time and also I'm afraid I'll turn into a blimp with worse health than I have now. Enough about me, GOOD for you showing the balls to pull the plug.

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    1. Idle time was also my first concern, as well as losing muscle tone. Need that for bayoneting the masses. Three to four weeks will tell if I've planned it correctly.

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  3. Good for you!

    I made my own leap of faith almost 19 years ago when I quit work to stay home with my first baby. It was scary. I made more money than hubby and I had the health insurance.

    Luckily, I had been talking to a friend about quitting my job and she sent me a card with the quote "Go out on a limb. That where the fruit is." -- Will Rogers.

    Just thinking about that one quote was enough to make me reevaluate my life and give me the courage to do what I really wanted.

    You'll probably have a few challenges but freedom is soooo worth it.

    If you ever need any extra money, just have the NOL tell her friends that you will do odd jobs. Folks are always looking for someone to do small repairs or work around the home/yard -- nothing big, just odds and ends. Stuff they don't have the the time to do because they are too busy working. The going rate around here is $15-$25 an hour. A few hours a month would be a nice supplement for your writing income.

    The nice thing about working odd jobs for others is that they usually think of you when they are getting rid of stuff. That's how we got our free leather couch and loveseat, queen sized mattress, picture windows, kitchen table, Blaze King wood stove, firewood, canning jars, Mountain House food storage (yup, free freeze dried food -- the husband died and wife wanted it gone.), too much to list...

    Regarding your writing, it would be interesting to have a once a week update (have a set day like every Thurdsay) on the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of escaping slavery. Jot down notes during the week and then compile them for the update. I would be real interested in reading about it.

    I'm glad you decided to make the choice for personal happiness over being chained to the treadmill.

    Idaho Homesteader



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    1. Thanks. Not a bad idea on updates. I was already thinking on an article breaking down the budget. If I'm honest with myself, I wouldn't have made it another ten years especially as the amount of labor increases every year. I've always been opposed to waiting for retirement to enjoy ones self. I think I'm a slow learner.

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  4. I was going to comment yesterday asking if the female boss knew you had a blog and your comments being made by you about her. My guess was yes.
    Having had the "pleasure" LOL of working with or for, 5 females being in charge all the way from my second job as a gas jockey (she stole 5 $ a day from my till)
    To my days in Law Enforcement (2, 1 who could not take a joke and was latter found to have a federal warrant for blow out of Peru and another had been fired from another PD for stealing $25,000 from drug money, Her name Is Betty Neff) All 5 were a pain in the ass (straw wise) but I got the pleasure of watching all go down in 
    Needless to say I hope your doing the right thing, A few hundred a month put away for 2 years may be given back to you or you might be shown the door by the NOL, but since I ain't in your shoes I will hope the best for you and your's.

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    1. The rent money was, now I know, not important to her, but it was for me. I need my self respect of not relying on a female. Living in town paying 1/2 the rent is preferable, we have a good relationship, but the B-POD is always waiting for me if the worse happens. I see little downside as far as living arrangements.

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  5. Congratulations on your newfound freedom. I hope to one day get out of my own way and join you. Right now I'm pretty well compensated and I work from home most days so it isn't too bad but, having that soul crushing, micro-managing boss to answer to is more stress than anyone should have to endure.

    -Novice

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    1. Exactly. Why is it bosses think they must punishing you for drawing a paycheck?

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  6. Good on you mate

    I'll support you as much as I can.

    I currently spam your blog to GAB (Twitter challenger).

    Maybe look into Patreon?


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    1. I knew about Patreon from Kuntsler's site. I'm actually thinking I just offer a magazine each month and harass everyone to buy. On top of that, a book a month. To get 35 cents from a minion, they can buy a dollar book or spend $6 on Amazon. The books are a better deal when cash is short. Support as possible has always been my mantra. Some folks simply can't spare a single dollar and I get that-and no worries. It is the users who can but won't that irk me. Of course, I know how generous my readers are compared to most other sites. I'm just trying to maximize that :)

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  7. I'm making an Amazon order now. Hope it helps.

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    1. Duh! Of course it helps! I don't need much to meet the minimum. You da man! Thank you.

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  8. You DUMBASS. Now you will be working for yourself. Your going to have to put up with the biggest dushe bag you know. All kidding aside good luck but except to be busy. Once its known you unemployed you become the one that every one thinks has time to do what they need "Since they work".

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    1. I want to be just like the new step-daughter (actually, kind of like the old one also ). Not working and always so busy. :) Semi-Seriously, though, I worry I'm now working for an incompetent. At least working for another, it isn't YOU who has the inferior product or service.

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  9. Hmmm... I'll have to check my archives to see if I'm up to date. I think I have everything you've published to Lulu, I kept up with your Kindle 'zine, and I know I bought your Bison CD.

    At this point my "retirement" from H&R Block is contingent on whether I end up with a speech impediment from the surgery to remove the tumor from my tongue.

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    1. My "brainstorm" is to just take the months articles and lump them together as a magazine. I'll insert a photo between each article with an amazon link to that product. Nothing new, just a monthly fund raising. I'm still working on what extra to publish monthly on top of that. And...DAMN! I don't think I've ever heard of a tumor on ones tongue. The wife must be pleased you don't talk as much:) Anyway, good luck with all that.

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    2. LOL she's talking about getting a pink car... she says I should say something if I object lol.

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  10. I really hope it works out for you Jim.

    But seriously??????

    You are so FUCKED!!

    Say good bye to the NOL, it's only a matter of time.

    YKW
    MM

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    1. I love ya, brother!! Your paranoia and cynicism actually inspire me. :)

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  11. Good for you! My only concern would be that you may have too much time on your hands. I don't want you to become "Travis Bickle", looking in the mirror and asking, "You lookin' at me?"

    I will continue to support your efforts.

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    1. Thanks! No, I'm planning on even less free time. I'm a huge anal retentive when it comes to my schedual and love my routine. As long as I pencil in activities they get done. I'm not one to "wing it" filling in the day.

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  12. First, same idea as Idaho Homesteader but less elaborate : "If you don't try it, you'll never know."

    Second, bad bosses cost you years of your life. Literally. And on top of that, the years that remain are worth less, because you're overstressed, or angry, or over weight etc.

    Third, because I have lost enormous amounts of muscle and stamina in the last two years, (due to a toxic manager), the only silver linging is that you learn how to live like under the effects of mild radiation poisoning. Only half joking. If everything is a terrible effort (including thinking and prioritizing) then you are truly validating you SHTF survivability.

    Everybody knows that people who pack 60 lbs in a BOB are morons (even just for relying on a BOB in the first place) but by losing physical ability you have to choose a way to survive.

    Now they are always frail old grannies in war zones and somehow they make it through. While the beefheads, more often than not, don't. Same for feral children, they don't even read and know next to nothing.

    There is an extremely important survival lesson here.

    Anyway, I believe you made the right choice because now things are even more "for real", whereas most survivalist writers actually spend their days cutting deals with consumer product companies for ad placement.

    In the end this world really is going to end (if it doesn't, nobody will want to live in it anyway), and thus you will, again, have gained a huge advance (actually, to you and your offspring, because as the years go by it's more and more about them...)

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    1. My gut tells me this is the right move, and even though I tend to over-analysis I still let my gut decide in the end. Lizard Brain always has something important to contribute.

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  13. Is there a physical address we can send contributions to you ? Some of us don't use Pay pal or use internet to order items. I am one such dinosaur, but have no problem mailing you some funds every now and again.

    You have balls man - hope to continue reading your thoughts and experiences.

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    1. You can always go to my "contact" link at the end of each article, but my first class mail address remains the same. 181 W Bullion Road #12, Eklo NV 898701. Thanks.

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    2. Sorry-89801. Don't know how that extra # got in there. Still tired, haven't had coffee yet.

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  14. Best of luck to you Lord Bison! I think you've got the stones to pull it off and this adventure should be quite inspirational to the rest of us!

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    1. Thanks. I think I've experienced enough extreme low income years to pull this off semi-effortlessly.

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  15. Personally I think you made a mistake.
    The company that you choose to leave will blame you for your leaving, and will not suffer a moment financially while picking another poor schlub off the street to fill your position.
    You would have been better off to do just the LETTER of your job, allow your attitude to show clearly, speak up to HR repeatedly as to the poor performance of your boss(es), etc, until they fired you.
    Then you would have had unemployment insurance for an income (until it ran out) and been able to annoy the people making the decisions in the company enough that they may have actually considered your points seriously.
    IMHO Just quitting, while satisfying as it may feel, is not a wise way of handling the situation.
    And talking to the NOL first is also essential, most of those funds might be in savings, but they sound to be in HER or SHARED savings, not in your savings - and a sudden financial change like this is likely to cause her to feel financially cut adrift without warning. Maybe your conversation the night before was in fact a discussion about actually putting in your two weeks notice, but it is something you need to pause on and let sink in before doing it (just like any other major financial decision). If you still feel the same way a few days later, it is probably a good idea, if you don't then it would have been a mistake. As it is, your jumping in feet first will mean your alternatives become restricted.
    But then again, it will make you feel better at first at least, and is certainly a job that can be replaced if any jobs can be.

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    1. The NOL has repeatedly reassured me she is on board, and she makes twice to three times what I do. And it wasn't really a snap decision as it was brewing for five years. If I had just left without notice, THAT would have been foolish. I hear the points you are making but it isn't about quitting work-it is about going from corporate employment to self employment. As for the nimrods in charge there, you could shove a brick up their ass and they would think they needed to eat more fiber instead of pulling out the obstruction. No common sense. And they have NO idea how difficult it will be to replace me. Lifting 6 to 10 k lbs a day for $500 a month, no holidays or vacation. This is how delusional they are: they think one of the office girls can fill in if no replacement is hired. They won't even be able to push up the truck lift gate, let alone pick up all the food. Everyone dependent on tax write off from these donations will be pissed! I look forward to the roaches scurrying about in panic and discontent. Of course, you are probably right they'll blame me!

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    2. "...allow your attitude to show clearly, speak up to HR repeatedly as to the poor performance of your boss(es), etc, until they fired you."

      Having been in the corporate world for four decades, and having gone down that road twice (I'm a slow learner), I respectfully disagree. In my experience, they will either make your life so unbearable that you will quit, or they use the most minor offenses to build a case against you and fire you. Either way, you will be terminated "for cause" and not be eligible to collect unemployment benefits. It's one way that scummy management will keep costs down.

      You are correct, it won't change anything and they will lay the blame at your feet when you're gone. But I've also seen them do that regardless of the reason(s) you leave or how long you suck it in before you finally give up and bail. They will always rationalize their own behavior and make you the bad guy.

      I once had an HR rep tell me to my face that her job was not to take care of the employees, it was to keep the employer from getting sued.

      Lord willing, I will be taking an early retirement this winter. Like you, Jim, I've had enough. It's time to live while I still can. I wish you all the best with this new chapter in your life. Now I'm headed home to get on Amazon and make some Amazon purchases (dog food and other household necessities) so I can support my favorite blogger :-)

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    3. Believe me, I appreciate your support now more than ever. Hopefully the only thing that changes from paycheck to self-employment will be that I harass everyone more to donate. Well, that and I'll have more mental energy to write both more and better.

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    4. Well, I will try to remember to buy my solar stuff through your links as often as I can - https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B018BMGTTO/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_8?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A2D22KZJD14Y8Y
      And maybe buy more of your books when money is flowing freely enough.

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    5. MUCH appreciated. The rest of you, how can you not buy more panels at these ridiculously low prices? I got four myself, just for storage.

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  16. "Only fear and habit kept me from leaping before."
    ============================

    There ya go. Programmed employment fear that secures you from all directions. I told you over a year ago you should be self employed. I think my exact words were "Everybody should be self employed." Congratulations, I hope the best for you. My hope is wasted of course because until now you've been a V8 running on 2 cylinders. NOW you will start to fire up the other 6.

    You will develope new ways to think, about everything. You no longer have the crutch/handicap of employment supporting and restricting you. You HAVE to perform. ALL the time.

    Scary? Yep. Would I have it any other way? Nope.
    In my mind, being dependent upon an employer (or even 2) is far more scary. I will never work for an employer. It's not in my vocabulary. Employment = slavery. In time this will make more sense to you.

    Your time is YOUR time not your employers and you'll use to your best advantage. Before, you would stop writing at a certain time, whether you wanted to or not, because you had to hit the sheets in order to go to your employment the next day. Now, if the mood fits, you can write as long as you want to. Or not. It's up to you, and no one else.

    Little piece of advice and I'll get out of your hair.
    Get a pack of them small 5"x7" legal pads and some cheap pens and have a pad and pen laying all over the places where you normally congregate. If you sit at a specific place in the living room while staring at the toob, put a pad and pen on the table next to it. Another next to the bed, with an AAA flashlight. When the notion hits, write it down on the pad. Thoughts, future article ideas. An interesting product seen on a TV commercial, a phone number heard on the radio, a website you remembered seeing some where, etc. Catalog your minds throughput for future reference. Memories fade and disappear, ink on paper does not. Do not throw the pads away. Keep all the sheets for future ref in a small box. In a year you may remember something but not all of it and you can run back through your *morgue files* and find what you wrote down.

    Back in the 80's I used to purchase the American Express time saver diary and kept it sitting on a table next to my drawing table and I did what I described above. But my note taking became far more than that book could manage so I started on the small legal pad routine. I still do it this way and prolly always will.

    Good luck, and NEVER look back!

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    1. What can I say? You were right, dammit! I know all about notes. I can lose a thought in a literal fraction of a second. Losing enough of them got me in better note taking habits.

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I must moderate-trust me. You don't want to see what happens otherwise. Sometimes it takes awhile to respond as I only check two or three times a day. No N-Bombs, nothing to get me libeled. Otherwise, have at it. If you criticize me, make sure to praise my hair first.