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Friday, December 26, 2014

e-shaver

E-SHAVER
Now, don't get your panties in a bunch.  I am today not adding a frivolous electronic gadget to your Must Have For The Apocalypse list, but just discussing it as a nice addition if you can acquire one for a very specific circumstance.  I don't have much use for electronic shavers ( perhaps my long suffering minions recount the 1980's Braun shaver incident in which a supposedly high quality electric razor came alive Stephen King style and tried to cut my throat ), but neither do I care to grow a beard as every attempt not only caused skin problems and detracted from my shining dome, it looked silly as well as soon as I started to gray with age.  The problem with e-shavers is that they are obscenely priced for what you are getting, they hurt like hell to use ( unless you use one of those oh so flippin La De Da fancy wet razors that cost even more ) and they are far from adequate leaving a not very satisfying cut ( again, unless you put big bucks towards them ).  Yet, for a water scarce situation they are so much better.  Here in the less than wet high desert where it is sunny all year except friggin winter when it would really be friggin nice to have a friggin sunny day every friggin once in a friggin while so I don't have to stay down in my friggin hole all day and I could also perhaps get a little friggin extra writing done, using solar power to shave is much better than wasting water.
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But, more importantly, when we all go to ground at the commencement of hostilities come the die-off, sheltering in secrecy might call for disciplining your water use.  If you grow a beard to save water, you waste more water keeping it clean than if you had used water to shave ( shave using almost no water by softening your skin with a hot damp clothe rather than splashing hot water on your face ).  And a beard is not going to make it easier to stay clean and fresh.  You want little facial hair and little hair atop your dome to save on water.  And your gal would really appreciate it if you gave most of your allotted cleaning water to her.  An electric razor can go far on saving water, even if you were only shaving three times a week, and even if you were using a minimum for that.  It is NOT a long term shaving solution.  For that you buy the Shavr Savr at Lehman's Amish mail order store for $15, then take a guess how long you have left to live and times those years by a dollar.  Thirty years to go? $30 in $1 a pack, ten to the pack, disposable razors.  Three times a week, shaving WITH the grain, a razor lasts about two months.  Ten razors a year, max ( I know, straight razors.  I prefer the cheaper and safer disposables ).  But an e-razor saves water as long as it lasts.  One trick I've never seen elsewhere to really downgrade the amount of pain you need to put up with in an e-razor is to shave twice.  The first time do not put any pressure at all on the razor.  Just let it gently glide.  Clean, then do it again really grinding it into your face.  It doesn't hurt as much, and it takes longer to get that five o'clock shadow.
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11 comments:

  1. How about a little out of the box thinking?

    Get a tweezers and pluck.

    Only the mustache hairs hurt and you can trim that with a scissors.

    YKW
    MM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pluck your rectal hairs and tell me if that hurts.

      Delete
    2. eeewwwww aren't you witty.

      C'MON you can do better that that!

      Delete
    3. That's as good as you get on my second cup of coffee after waking at 430 am.

      Delete
  2. Been growing my shit since my early 20's, close to 40 years, and see no reason to change now - shaving is simply not an issue except periferally, I do shave my neck and under my eyes, and my fukkin ears maybe every few weeks. Then about once a month of so I use scissors to clean up around my mouth and do an overall trim. Other than that, it just isn't an issue, helps keep the wind off a little in the winter time. And now that it's mostly salt with a scattering of pepper, it commands respect. I have no idea what you mean about hygiene issues, I scrub everything first thing in the morning and in general I don't eat like an animal - I don't get the shit all through my facial hair, but rather into my mouth where it belongs. I wonder what a shiny dome would look like with Elvis hair tattoo'd all over it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hygene issues- just that it takes more soap and water to keep clean.

      Delete
    2. What, you don't wash your face multi-daily?
      I do, and the hair gets it too naturally.
      I use soap sparingly, 1 bar of Ivory every 21-22 days and I shit canned shampoo years ago. I've mastered the art of minimalism without sacrificing comfort and utility and did so by carefully monitoring how I lived each day and found lots of corners to cut. I keep finding new corners as the riff raff is cleared away. I currently have close to 10 years worth of hygiene products for myself stockpiled. One more thing that doesn't occupy my mind for the next 10 years. Simple is good.

      Delete
    3. I use wet wipes multiple times daily. More expensive, but the water is an issue.

      Delete
  3. Well, I came close to following this advice by ordering my straight razor, and all of the accessories to go with it through your link James. I'll admit to being scared of trying it the first time, but plan on doing a lot of research before the razor ever touches my face. I feel that the straight razor is the best long term collapse utility for this purpose. Now the old fashioned safety razors have potential as well, and it would be possible to reshape the blades upon dulling them. I hear tell that the Astra and Merkur blades are the best?

    Wayne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had good luck resharpening the old style safety razors inside a drinking glass. But single blades tear up my face.

      Delete
  4. The Art of Manliness blog has several articles on various styles of shaving:
    http://www.artofmanliness.com/category/dress-grooming/shaving/

    Personally, I prefer scissors to trim my beard over shaving.

    ReplyDelete

I must moderate-trust me. You don't want to see what happens otherwise. Sometimes it takes awhile to respond as I only check two or three times a day. No N-Bombs, nothing to get me libeled. Otherwise, have at it. If you criticize me, make sure to praise my hair first.