80's Cheese

80’S CHEESE

Just before I went home for the weekend, I was reading Commander Zero and his take on an 80’s survivalist movie:

http://www.commanderzero.com/?p=2251

Well, as fate would have it, I’ve had a VHS copy of this movie waiting for a sunny weekend ( I ordered it around a month ago when I read the review in the $30 apocalypse movie book ), so I was a bit bummed I spent $12 on it when it was posted on the Web.  But, life is like that, or at least my life, so I soldiered on and watched the thing and I can sum up the movie in one sentence.  Do NOT under any circumstances watch this if you want to see a survivalist movie but by all means please do if you want to see an 80’s cheese fest flick.  There were a few lines thrown in to make it seem like a survival movie, but this was mostly a biker film.  Strange that by 1987 they were still churning those out, unless it was old footage from earlier movies they reused so they only needed about half the run length in new film ( there is little doubt this was done on the cheap, although to be fair everything about “No Blade Of Grass” was so much worse it makes this one much easier to watch and recommend ).  And, just as an aside, it was quite easy to see why Jerry Ahern didn’t get credit or a check for this one.  There was NOTHING here remotely like his books.

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Low budget 80’s films were made with a very simple formula.  Boobs and bombs.  Or, more correctly, mammaries and machineguns.  I for one loved the hell out of all movies in the 80’s, but I was also the demographic they were targeting- twenties.  Of course I didn’t see what they were doing to manipulate me and everyone else that age, but it is easy to see it now.  Men were portrayed as macho and “strong silent type” as ever before, but with a difference.  Now, there was no love or respect for women.  They were portrayed as mere receptacles.  And were punished for not listening to their betters ( in The Survivalist the wife was told to lock up the house as Tillman went into town to go to his bank deposit box.  And of course, since she didn’t listen, five minutes later, scene stealing from half the 70’s movies, the house was invaded and she and the daughter were killed.  When Jack arrived home and discovered this, he spent all of ten seconds holding her corpse, then rudely flung her down as he cried out his daughters name and fled to her bedroom.  Message delivered: you bitches who don’t listen are easily replaced.  Which, he does readily not too long after ).  You couldn’t have had a better audience for that than 80’s young males, as the workplace was already aswarm  with females taking over and/or getting special treatment from Political Correctness.

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I’ll continue this next post.  The one after that might be my annual tirade on Christmas.  I haven’t made up my mind just yet.

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