more bread adventures

MORE BREAD ADVENTURES

Some days I’m brilliant and other days I gaze around in confusion and wonder how the hell I just did that.  Usually, the days I get proper sleep ( over seven hours ) are the ones I have a hard time formulating new material.  I think when I get only six hours sleep, several days in a row, my mind wanders and mines the sub-conscience.  Of course, too many of those days and you start losing sharpness.  It is like taking a day off of work.  You lose productivity but if you don’t take the loss, in the long run you are in far worse trouble.

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So on those days, if I’m unable to channel Super Bison, you get a more boring less spectacular vision.  I’m wondering what the heck to talk about and finally said, meh, sad panda, you get an update on my holy quest for the perfect flour as frugally as possible.  I’ll go out of my way to be frugal.  Not sure if any of you picked up on that or not.  I understand when a tool purchase is necessary, but I’ll move heaven and earth to do that as cheaply as possible.

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For instance, do I NEED a new movie to watch?  Of course not.  I do ration that ( not that it is very hard, with so much crap being put out now.  Two good studios are “Icon Productions”-Mel Gibson- and “Cinestate” which recently did Brawl In Cellblock 99, on Amazon Prime, and Dragged Across Concrete at Redbox ) but I’ll walk to one Redbox or bike to another to pick up a $2 movie ( bastard whores state sales tax gets it close to that ) rather than stream a movie.  At twice the old Blockbuster rental price which was bad enough.

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Yeah, Spanky, each dollar does add up.  And if you don’t pay for physical media, before you know it only streaming is left and Commie Bezos is censoring BadThink movies.  So, by paying LESS, you are supporting conservatives.  You are still supporting the Post Office, right?  Still mailing crap even when you don’t have to?  They support Unions and no censorship ( well, don’t be a sick puke and mail kiddie porn, dumbass.  It is hard to defend NOT censoring that ) and who else does that?  You have joined Gun Owners Of America, haven’t you? 

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That is the only way to change the NRA, if nothing else.  Vote with your wallet.  Anyway, let’s get back on track with being as frugal as possible.  Hey, if you don’t like tangents you are at the wrong place.  I suggest most other commercial prepper sites that only don’t spend like drunken sailors ( the NRA “leadership” ) because they haven’t the means.  I TRIED to not buy a fancy grain grinder.  I did.  I tried to talk myself out of it.  You’re a MAN, dammit, eat your course meal bread!  Yeah, that don’t cut it when a third of your calories are wheat.

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As I already said, if all I get after the apocalypse is course flour, well, thank you Baby Jesus because at least I have enough to eat.  But in the here and now, surrounded by bacon and Big Macs, Dorito’s and Jimmy John’s sub sandwiches, I already feel like I’m a leper, divorced from consumerism and good food.  I’m eating all this damn wheat because it is healthier ( damn you, old age! ) and oh so much cheaper.  But home made flour in the cheap Victoria/Corona mill doesn’t taste super wonderful.

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I can choke down one bread ( microwave bread, one half cup of flour.  You should not be surprised that a half cup makes a HUGE platter of bread.  It is cow masticating lengths of time to consume it all ) with course flour.  I yell at my colon and bowels, “screw you, you little humpers.  You don’t want to work?  Take THIS!”.  But two more?  Gag.  I need a little variety.  I WANT it to the point I’ll find excuses to not eat.  Yeah, surprise, flour and water nuked tastes like cardboard.  Wet, slightly moldy cardboard left out too long.

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Again, don’t mistake Times Of Prosperity finickiness with Post Collapse appetite.  I know I’ll eat pretty much whatever when I have to.  But I don’t have to, right now.  It is more of a frugal budget necessity.  I want freedom, which means less income needed.  So, a finer flour is a tool to help me eat cheaper.  In the morning, when I am really hungry, I can choke down a fine flour bread, no butter.  A few hours later, a course flour with butter and salt.  A few hours after that, back to fine flour, butter and bit of sugar sprinkled on top. 

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There is my variety.  It works.  My body thinks it is getting different foods.  Silly, stupid taste buds!  I tried to get a finer flour out of my Victoria.  I normally grind 3 o’clock course, noon medium and 9am fine.  At 7am, you are grinding the metal together, which you do NOT want.  I went as far as I could, to 7:30 position, just easing off the plates touching.  Even grinding four times, this simply wouldn’t grind fine enough. I saw no change at 7:30 compared to 9. 

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I tried both red winter wheat ( best protein grain for commonly available ) and then white wheat ( softer, a bit less protein.  But I stock both because the times I shop at the feed store, it is with whatever they have in stock.  I think the red tastes better, but that is just me ).  No difference, except in the ease of grinding.  Well, dammit, I had to go ahead and buy the $108 grain attachment to the KitchenAid ( which the NOL already has, bless her heart ).  The problem I had was the mixed reviews.  Some hated it and others backed up the ads claims of pastry fine flour.

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And, it works! Identical to store bought!  I knew it would be super double short bus retarded to try to grind wheat kernels whole in the machine.  Too many folks broke their KitchenAid’s doing so ( especially those with the 300 watt rather than the 600 watt machine ).  So I pre-ground in my Victoria, once on course and once medium.  This is no big deal, as those two are the easier grinds.  It is the fine grind that you put the most muscle into.

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The Victoria add on hopper allows you to put in a pint jar worth of kernels, and when ground that amount is just about right for the KitchenAid attachment hopper size.  The attachment comes in ten settings from course to super fine.  You cannot just place the flour from the Victoria into the attachment and set it at one ( finest setting ).  You must set it at 3, grind it and then run it through again on 1.  I started grinding on low speed than went all the way up to the fastest.  Set on JUST low speed, the motor heats up from running too long.  Think of it as a gasoline engine, not a diesel. 

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At first I ran the flour through twice, one right after another.  But in the interest of NOT breaking the NOL’s machine and having to replace it, I’m now letting the machine cool down in between.  That is probably overkill, but what am I in a hurry for?  There is no need to grind five pounds of flour at a time, especially since I store it in the fridge ( it would take up too much room ).  Every few to five days I’ll just run another batch of fine, keeping it separate from my course flour.

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Now, all of the above?  Yes, White People Problems ( referred to as First World Problems if you are surrounded by OtherColors and don’t want to incite a mob ).  Even earning $300 a month average ( NOT complaining!  Eternally grateful I have that generous of minions!! ), I still make enough to have White People Problems.  How sweet is that?  Oh, do I have enough ammo?  Ooh, my delicate sensibilities demand refined whole wheat.  Mercy, I STILL have to exercise to avoid getting fat, even eating that much grain.  I’ll sure miss having these problems!

( .Y. )

( today's related Amazon link click here )

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