bah humbug

BAH HUMBUG

As the old joke goes, “How do you know a food is healthy for you?  It tastes like crap!”  Jokes are funny because there are kernels of eternal truth to them ( or, just funny because other people got hurt.  Either way works, and they do say laughter is the best medicine ).  I’m not saying you cannot enjoy and even crave healthy food.  Of course you can.  I do.  It just takes a re-training period for your brain to get off the junk food crack addiction.  You backslide, less and less every year, and Good Food Good is reiterated through pain.

*

Just like alcohol.  Your body needs it, after an addictive period, until you go through the pain of getting over the addiction.  Why do you think bankers and CEO’s keep destroying nature, cultures and countries?  They are weak creatures from lack of trial by discomfort and they are addicted to hookers and cocaine.  No act too vile to continue getting their Gerbil To Anal ( GTA ) or snorting their blow, all the time.  Twats.  You can train yourself to be weak, or you can train yourself to be strong.  Reinforcement, good or bad, and your monkey brain meekly follows.

*

You can become addicted to healthy food and exercise.  You can be Arnold, pumping iron to such a degree you have a puke bucket nearby ( which was followed later with that same bucket after he was married to Maria Shriver-badump! ).  Most folks see the entry in the dictionary of “moderation” and think it is some foreign Greek word.  They are ‘Murican’s, dammit, and they will not moderate their Yuppie Scum lifestyle until it is pried from their cold dead fingers ( yeah, Spanky, I’m being literal rather than hyperbolic here.  Amusing times ).

*

I’m no saint, nor a super stud ninja survivalist.  Most of my good prepper habits come from other less admirable traits.  I’m just a cheap humper, so it was easy to never get addicted to eating out at fast food.  When it used to taste good, it was a seldom indulged treat.  Now that it tastes like rancid swill I can act all high and mighty about not eating any of it.  But I was until recently never very good about not eating the at home variety of crap food.  Only in financial austere times did I clean up my addiction. 

*

But you train yourself and move in the right direction.  So, following the food joke theme, let’s make another humorous observation.  “How do you know you are prepping correctly?  Nothing you do is any fun”.  If you are enjoying prepping, you are probably doing it wrong.  Seriously ( kind of ).  At first, doing what needs to be done is going to suck all the mule members you can fit into a giant box.  Only later, after retraining your monkey mind, will you begin to enjoy it.  Surely you can admit, most prepping advice/activity is rather juvenile. 

*

Not to disparage the AR-15 too much ( I know it has its place-I’m no longer just hating on it as a religious stance as I used to.  I really need to publish the next Bison Book Batch with the battle rifle title ), but isn’t the whole platform called the “Barbie Rifle” ( so called for its fun accessories ) for a reason?  Isn’t most prepping just shopping, as if every day of the year was Happy Festivus?  Now, I know that isn’t the whole story.  I understand most aspects of the hobby, believe me.

*

I’m just asking, how many preppers do the Hard Things?  How many roll the dice financially and move out of the city?  How many try to reduce their dependency on the automobile?  How many don’t have enough food because they insist on only freeze dried ( when you are broke, Fancy Food should be a White People Problem not of your universe.  Obviously, get what you can eat every day, not what your favorite Prepper Guru advises, because, duh, Food First.  Then triple that because none of us can guess actually how bad it will get )?   

*

( Just as with guns, you only get what you can have multiples of, not what is best or what is approved.  And yes, I understand the AR is the cheapest to get multiples of.  For now.  As soon as it isn’t, you can bet a jelly filled donut I’ll return to heaping scorn and ridicule ).  My point here is that most of us, most of the time, choose Fun over Hard.  Sometimes in life, sometimes in prepping.  If this does not apply to you, congratulations.  But there is a very good reason why prepping is mostly about guns.  Because they are fun.

*

You can have your fun.  But it is called Delayed Gratification.  You earn it, then you get to enjoy it.  You can eat junk food, as long as it is a treat and a reward rather than a menu.  You can do all the fun stuff.  But you also have to ask yourself, every day, was that necessary, or was that just fun?  Saving money is no fun.  Giving up luxuries is no fun.  Living like a bare ass savage is no fun ( at least not at first.  Eventually, after it is no longer painful, it can be fun, or at least enjoyable or rewarding ).

*

Do you think daily exercise is fun?  If you do, you are humped in the head.  The feeling AFTER you exercise is enjoyable, as your energy level is elevated and you don’t feel like a turd mixed in molasses on a cold tin roof.  Fun?  No.  I exercise six days a week and then rest on the seventh.  On that seventh day, I feel like crap for not exercising but I know I need to rest the muscles.  Not feeling like I’ll have a heart attack during sex, that is a nice feeling.  But fun?  No. 

*

We do un-fun crap because we have to.  Do I enjoy, some days anyway, forcing myself to eat that last platter of wet cardboard whole wheat bread?  Negative.  But I feel WORSE if I don’t, as my blood sugar lowers and I’m feeling actual weakness rather than just hunger.  I have to do it, I enjoy the feeling AFTER I do it, but no one can mistake it for fun.  That should be YOU, and your prepping.  Delayed gratification, and in this case you should feel gratified if you never have to be grateful for prepping.

( .Y. )

( today's related Amazon link click here )

*

Please support Bison by buying through the Amazon links here ( or from http://bisonprepper.com/2.html or www.bisonbulk.blogspot.com ). Or PayPal www.paypal.me/jimd303 

*** Unless you are in extreme poverty, spend a buck a month here, by the above donation methods ( I get 4% of the Amazon sale, so you need to buy $25 worth for me to get my $1 ) or mail me some cash/check/money order or buy a book ( web site for free books, Amazon to pay just as a donation vehicle ).
*** My e-mail is: jimd303@reagan.com  My address is: James M Dakin, 181 W Bullion Rd #12, Elko NV 89801-4184 ***E-Mail me if you want your name added to the weekly e-newsletter subscriber list.

*** Pay your author-no one works for free.  I’m nice enough to publish for barely above Mere Book Money, so do your part.*** junk land under a grand *  Lord Bison* my bio & biblio*   my web site is www.bisonprepper.com *** Wal-Mart wheat***Amazon Author Page
* By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there