darwin hates retards

DARWIN HATES RETARDS

Before I start insulting everyone, yes, I also am a retard.  Having the ability to live in a nice secluded neighborhood, with paid for land, and the means to earn a living while doing so, I choose to live in town since I value a relationship over security.  Hi, my name’s Jim and I’m a dumbass ( Hi, Jim! ).  I can make excuses and offer half-assed work-arounds, but boiled down, I’m just an idiot.  At least alcoholics are doing society a favor by trying to kill themselves off by subsidizing grain farmers.  With me, you have to listen to my ranting while healthy.

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You’ll be lucky if I die before the actuary tables suggest ( another eight years minimum, sorry.  I go by the old, century previous tables.  Modern medicine keeps the zombies alive artificially ).  You, most likely, are also a dumb ass.  Probably a good 90% chance.  And the thing is, Darwin is going to smite almost every dumb ass retard short bus passenger.  I mean, come on!  Why do we even have short buses, right?  The slow kids aren’t going to learn anything except perhaps staying in some of the lines with a crayon. 

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Why are we wasting resources?  The only thing these people were good for was, perhaps, being a shepherd.  Put the retard out in the field to look after the sheep.  What else was he going to do?  And we have plenty of public land out west.  Why feed cattle corn when there is all this free grass ( you use sheep because the cattle can’t survive a lot of the winters without imported resources ).  Anyone can consume resources, the trick is to churn out contributors.  Going to school to take seven years to learn your colors and counting to ten doesn’t cut it.

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And not many are going to be Rain Man, now are they?  Not that there are many K-Marts left to get underwear at.  You look at me like I was just caught picking my ass at the wedding reception, making fun of the single digit IQ people, but life ain’t “Forrest Gump”.  Retards are not that cute or as useful.  Wonderful film, but it was a feel-good fantasy ( fried shrimp, shrimp kabob, shrimp cocktail ).  Retards are going to be the first casualty of the Wraith Of Darwin.  The second?  People who ACT retarded.

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Which is almost all of us.  What did Forrest say?  Retard is as retard does.  And for all of you who say, “movies aren’t real life”, I must ask you, aren’t they?  Popular entertainment is just that, but it is also the fables we turn to for direction.  Just look at most of the prepper fiction.  The square jawed Christian soldier smites the evil masses and ushers in a prosperous moral utopia.  Obviously, utter claptrap.  But that is how most of the readers want to act.  Or, at least want life to act like.  That is their morality tale.

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Movies can still provide distilled wisdom and guidance.  So, remember that line, stupid is as stupid does.  Another really good line is, “run, Forrest, run!”.  That one will REALLY come in handy for the apocalypse.  But back to you acting like a humping retard.  Intentions don’t mean dingus.  Plans without implementation are just mental masturbation.  What have you DONE?  Not, what do you mean to do.  Not, what should you do.  What have you done?  Actions speak oh so much louder than words.  Okay, say you know you need to move to a less populated area.  What have you done?

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Obviously, you cannot always move.  But what have you done to help get there to that point, besides wish, or plan or strategize?  Did you buy some junk land, even if it isn’t exactly where you want to be?  Did you at least put down a $100 and start making payments?  If not, have you cached food and ammo in the nearby forest, as an alternative?  Have you started monetizing your hobby, to work towards self-employment so you can survive off grid?  Subscribing to Backwoods Home doesn’t count.  What have you done to do, rather than think to plan? 

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Stupid is as stupid does.  Your actions are what counts, and nothing else.  You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?  Show me the money ( see, more modern movie fables ).  Remember how we are self-justifiers?  How we lie to others, convinced we speak only the truth?  Well, we lie to ourselves even better than we lie to others.  If you cannot prove you’ve done something, you are acting the retard.  Your actions, that of a retard, are proven whereas your promises and intentions have been proven to be a lie. 

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That is the reason it is so important to do something, anything.  Even baby steps.  When you take no action, subconsciously you feel like a lying lazy turd, and you lie to yourself why that simply cannot be the case.  You are in denial and feel like crap and keep upping the ante lying and trying to not feel that way, to no avail.  It spirals downward.  When you actually do something, you subconsciously throw a parade and the endorphins flow and you use that as a springboard to continue.  You want to keep feeling good.  Even tiny baby steps work.

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Are you sitting in front of the computer, the rolls of fat covering your dingus so bad that you couldn’t view online porn even if you wanted to?  You can ACT retarded and do nothing, or you can ACT and do something besides get fatter.  Go walk two blocks.  It won’t do anything, physically.  But you need to take the mental roadblock out of your way.  Just doing something, will motivate you to do more.  Just like doing nothing will motivate you to do more of nothing.  Next week, walk three blocks.  Then walk three blocks, but faster.  And etcetera.   

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( Bison Global Publishing Empire Incorporated assumes no responsibility for the contents of this article.  For entertainment use only.  Consult your doctor before attempting ).  Yeah, right!  Get off the couch and exercise, you fat twat!  If you die, I don’t care.  At least you’ll feel better about yourself as your whole life of eating Twinkies and pizza flashes before your eyes.  And, as if you can afford a doctors visit.  Baby steps.  Want to own a wiz bang $3k AR-15?  Okay.  Don’t just save money for it.  Because you might be lying about it and use the money for something else. 

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Instead, go buy a stripped lower.  Now you are committed.  Doesn’t that feel better than just dreaming?  And your brain is now lying to itself in a positive rather than negative manner.  Ooooh, it says, I’m Mr. Awesome Sauce.  I committed to my goal.  I put my money where my mouth is.  I’m a stud!  You ARE going to lie to yourself.  You can’t help it, since you are human.  You might as well make those lies work for you positively.  You might as well Get High On Your Own Supply ( yet another movie reference- get those brain drugs massaging your nipples ).

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Continued tomorrow.

( .Y. )

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