storage

STORAGE

Hey, look at that!  A title that actually accurately portrays  the contents of the article.  I guess it was time to throw you all a bone, just don’t get used to it.  We all complain about not having enough storage space for our preps.  If you aren’t complaining that means that you haven’t stored enough food or ammunition.  Not guns.  Don’t lie to me, I know you have fifteen guns, with its $400 safe bolted to the foundation, and only about two hundred rounds per gun.  Me?  I’d sell a couple of guns and get way more ammunition.  Preferably in components rather than factory loads, unless it is in Wal-Mart twelve gauge or commie steel cases which are probably as cheap as it is going to get.  And did you stockpile the Wally flour like I told you about?  That is what prompted the minion suggestion for the article.  Some guy reading this and scratching his head and saying to himself, self, where the heck would I put a hundred pounds of flour? 

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Let me make this really easy for you.  As usual with all my prepper problem solutions it is easy peasy lemon squeazey.  But also, as with all my other solutions, it is so agonizingly difficult for you to implement the advice we arrive back to the status quo of “all problems have simple solutions but most people think the solution is worse than the problem”.  Can’t afford the $800 a month for your car payment and insurance and gasoline?  Get a bike and move closer to work.  WOW!  It was as if I had threatened to amputate someone’s junk.  That is a SOLUTION!!????!, you bellow in actual physical pain.  Rawles has better advise than you.  Why, you are, you know, poor and stuff.  What do you know?  Damn, dude, you get this upset over your car, I wonder how you’ll react when we lose all our overseas colony occupations and there is fifty percent less oil coming over here.  Then you lose far more than your car.  Oh, right.  Fracking.  Never mind.

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The solution to lack of storage is to fill each storage space fuller.  Duh.  See how easy this stuff is?  Just pick THE worse solution for your average American to solve any problem-which inevitably is usually the easiest solution at the cheapest cost-and watch the readers flee.  Oh, sure, once the economic collapse is real with real hunger and real deprivation, when the preppers are starving off their diet of cucumbers and tomatoes ( but with very healthy hair and skin from the vitamins ), then I’ll be everyone’s friggin hero.  Until they realize they had to exercise ( damn, there’s another Verbotten concept ) foresight and discipline prior to the collapse and already be ready and then when that realization sinks in I’ll go back to being a bastard again.  Look, this stuff?  I’m far from a genius.  It HAS to be butt simple for it to work for me.  Everything I do is distilled down to retard level.  I CAN’T work on a motor vehicle ( besides the cost issue, having a bike also gets fixen down to a level I can tackle, somewhat ).  I have a real hang-up conceptualizing mechanical processes.  My brain isn’t wired that way.  All that meager activity taking place up there is more easily tracing abstract movements of abstract concepts.  Put a real world problem up there and I shut down.  Social studies I can do.  Tangibles, not so much.

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Most people look at their shelter as a home.  They are mostly women.  The nesting instinct.  Nothing wrong with that per se.  And you can’t fight that.  It would be as easy for a gal to NOT nest as it would be for a guy to NOT want to fornicate as much as and then even more than possible.  So the damn place has to be all pretty and organized and no matter how hard you work to pay for it, it is ONLY hers and hers alone.  Her precious!  If you get any man cave space it is a miracle.  I mean, Sweet Jesus On A Submersible, friggin throw pillows on a bed.  What good are they?  You use, maybe, one, if you read or watch TV before bed.  How many are on the bed?  About thirty-two.  Off every night, on every morning.  This kind of nesting crap is crazy, yo!  But you can’t stop it.  It just is.  If you fight it, you are just a moron.  So storage is a concept that is foreign to Herself.  Storage is messy.  Storage MUST be organized and pretty.  Utilitarian?  What is that?  Most women know the word, they know the definition.  The concept?  Foreign as Bush Bitches in darkest Africa.

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All these You-Tube videos you see with the worlds greatest prepper advisors?  In their man caves doing the video, or single.  You are not allowed to crap in the wife’s nest, and all your crap is crapping crap from crapsville with you as the mayor, King Krap.  Girl You-Tube preppers?  Notice how pristine their houses look, with any supplies oh so carefully squirreled away out of sight.  And even then, their supplies are STILL organized.  They would, literally, rather starve during the collapse than to clutter up their homes with more supplies.  You wonder how the old “don’t store food in the attic, the heat will destroy it” chestnut came into being?  All those desperate bastards had no other choice than to store in the attic, as everywhere else was forbidden by decree.  And you know I’m probably not even really kidding.  You wonder why most women aren’t preppers?  There you go, boom, problem solved.  Bitches can’t store without a literal warehouse so that everything is MORE organized and uncluttered and looking good, babe, than the best most Yuppie Scum grocery store out there.  I had a woman boss in a video store, who took space away from displays to add foo-foo pretty pony atmosphere enhancing plants and crap.  Lose money every day to look better, starve after the apocalypse, but looking good doing it.  Dying early and leaving a good looking corpse.

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Gals simply cannot help it ( and I emphatically do NOT deny that males have just as many hang-ups, just different ones ).  They are hardwired for presentation.  Just as guys don’t give a crap about the health effects of smoking ( got to manage the stress so I can work harder to provide and protect-dying early doesn’t matter, just contributing to the family unit ), women don’t either but for a different reason ( smoking suppresses appetite, keeps the pounds off, keeps her looking good-dying early doesn’t matter, only attracting a provider and protector and keeping him ).  Right there, the smoking analogy, perfectly explains the motivations and behavioral mannerisms of the genders.  And just as these behaviors are hardwired and can’t be changed, they so then obviously supersede any prepper plans.  The guys want to stockpile regardless of appearances or even finances ( tangibles over intangibles ) and the gals want to keep stockpiles out of the nest and would prefer a strong financial nest egg over clutter.  Admit it, female minions, your stockpiles are pretty, not functional. And when you move the stockpile to an outbuilding, that becomes part of your nest and must also be organized and pretty.

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The organized part is what trips you up.  Girls say “organized” and actually mean “proper appearance”, and guys DO organize either because of their personality types or their wives insistence.   But guess what.  If you are to have enough storage space, it CAN’T be organized.  Or pretty.  So, since you aren’t allowed to foul the nest, you need to be assigned, build, or rent a storage facility devoted only to clutter.  Gals, just put a lock on the door and don’t be exposed to its horrors and guys, stop thinking organization or access and think quantity.  There is no other CHEAP way to do this.  If money is tight and it is better to buy an extra five years of wheat than to build a “proper” storage space for the one years worth you already have, then you must cram the hell out your space and jam pack it full.  And I don’t mean some pussy ass limp wrested pile it gingerly atop one another I mean no space to breath jam packed in, the only consideration the weight of each item so the heaviest goes first.  If you don’t have enough space for your five gallon buckets, spend $100 for a food grade refurbished IBC tote ( look in the bigger cities for someone selling a lot of them ).  Consider that 55 five gallon buckets cost $230 for the crappy orange ones, and anything below that for an IBC container saves money, time and a lot of space.  And holds almost a ton of wheat ( the 275 gallon containers ). 

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What I did over the years was just unpack, add, and repack each space.  I only started out with my living space the RV and one UPS type van.  When I moved the van up here I had most of it uncluttered, with enough space inside to sleep overnight prior to storing it and then driving a rental back down to get the truck and travel trailer.  When I parked the RV I placed a pallet under its overhang and covered it with tarp ( stacking sheets of wood and weight over and alongside it to prolong the tarps life and provide camouflage.  All my wheat buckets not in the van went on there.  Over the years I just kept adding to the inside of the van ( the RV had been packed to the gills prior to moving, every hidden space jam packed ).  Empty one area and rearrange everything and add some more.  Until the day I couldn’t even open the doors, so know I can’t add more.  Do I have any idea what is in there?  Hell, no.  I’m not a good note taker or inventory recorder.  I’m unorganized.  That works for me because I just end up buying much more of everything and to me that is a plus. 

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But YOU can certainly organize it, dividing the storage space into quadrants and listing the archeological layers with some semblance of accuracy.  You just can’t get in there and fondle each item as if it were a size D breast ( and no, gals, boobs are not just a useless blob of fat you are stuck with that sweat profusely in the summer.  I’m astounded what bitches-libbers come up with to excuse physical differences.  Boobs and butts are sexual signals because they are fertility signals.  Higher body fat content assures procreation, fuel for the fetus and then fuel for nursing, plus energy content for an immune system for surviving the birth-but don’t feel too bad, even Desmond Morris of Naked Ape fame didn’t get this right ).  I think you’ll be astounded with what you can jam into the smallest spaces as long as you pack with density in mind rather than organization or looks.  Yes, there are certainly demands with this system.  You must be assured the mice can’t use your clothing as beds ( little humpers chew it up and crap on it ), that water won’t be an issue, etc.  But why else did you spend money on this storage space if you didn’t have reasonable expectations about these minimal standards of protection?

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Organizing your preps is a Pretty Presentation Pony for gals and a ball scratching exercise for guys ( why do we scratch them?  Well, sure, because they are sweaty and they itch, but also because it feels good and we are reminded our little buddy is still safe and intact ).  For gals, they need to force themselves to keep one space out of their nest area, and guys need to be content that they HAVE stockpiles, and refrain from fondling or gazing in self-congratulatory awe.  It might feel good to have the perfect home, or reinforce your feeling of security by repeated viewing, but it REALLY cuts down on the amount you can store.  Two minutes after your last can of food is gone, I can guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll wish you maxed out your storage space.  You can do it by compromising, and not be denying your true nature.  My extra hundred pounds of flour I had no containers for?  I rearranged what was in small storage totes, placed some bulky items in cardboard boxes, and wrapped each paper sack in a plastic bag and just stored them in the totes, only needing three bags to go into empty coffee cans.  Not much extra space was used, just the cubic space of about a third of the bags of flour, and I was able to use extra space near the ceiling since it was displaced low weight items.  How was I able to repack the totes?  I covered what was on the bottom, besides the bulky boxes of empty cigarette tubes going into a cardboard box and stacked high.  I know the one was two 25 pound sacks of sugar in heavy duty plastic ( no mice down in the basement ) but have already forgotten what was in the second tote, now buried.  Do I care what I covered?  Of course not.  Sure, I SHOULD have been keeping inventory all these years, but as I said I’m not organized.  Come time to take inventory, when it will begin being consumed, I’ll have helping hands and all areas can be unloaded, THEN organized as then clutter won’t matter as much as security.  Until then, I just keep stuffing more and more into small areas.  Unutilized areas like the crawl space under the house, or in my trailer under the bed or seats ( or, under my trailer, for propane tanks and water bottles ).  Yes, I buried a lot of wheat, and that helped.  But you don’t necessarily need to do so to achieve vast stockpiles.

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