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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

grandpa will survive


GRANDPA WILL SURVIVE

I don’t know how obvious it is, but the title to this article makes fun of the country song.  I mean, I’m not crazy about country music to begin with ( not that 90% of classic rock is any better-worse than book publishing, lowest common denominator sales push pap to the near exclusion of quality.  With pressing vinyl or binding pages, I have a hard time understanding the business model.  You create ten thousand units because it costs $1 each rather than $3 each if you did one thousand, so when you only sell two thousand you think you’ve lost money when really you only lost profit if you had minimized production.  How about lowering the retail price rather than trying to minimize loss by trying to sell so much extra?  Everything has to boom or bust with these people ), but I can handle some of it ( wasn’t “Grandma Got Runned Over By A Reindeer” a country song? ).  What I have a hard time handling is people thinking survivalism needs a theme song.  Do you really need the soundtrack of a country boy surviving or how you feel fine at the end of the world as you know it?  Perhaps some folks are audio wired, as others are visually.  Hell, I’m still making fun of the whole concept.

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Some time back I wrote on how you should prep with your wife in mind, and recently a minion suggested I write on Old Timers preps.  It is the same concept either way, that frail less strong members of your group are going to need to be catered to.  The bulk of prepping advice assumes rightly or wrongly that its practitioners are young vibrant adults.  Not necessarily in their prime but able to garden all day long, pull a guard shift, cut wood, dig a latrine and all other manner of steady if not too strenuous physical activity.  Well, certain Idahoan Yuppie Scum Experts don’t do this.  They constantly push for Tim Taylor power tools to be used.  I’ve made fun of this no end, calling folks who can’t grind a cup of wheat manually unable to survive past the first few weeks of the apocalypse.  Well, of course I’m right, but what I didn’t realize until this very minute was that our good little butt buddy up north had very slyly cornered the market on old prepper humpers.  You have to admire his marketing savvy even if most of his advice is suspect.

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Here I was thinking Yuppie Scum preppers were just award winning lazy bastards.  They are.  But by pushing for motorized everything ( to include the cyclic action on firearms ), Yuppie Prepping is also folding into its tent the growing legions of old bastards hoping to survive.  As Black Cat Dude stipulated years ago, most preppers are late forties on up in age.  So if some tottering aged decrepit hump wandered on over to my web site and read about hand grinding wheat, digging underground homes with only a pick and shovel, cutting firewood with hand tools and NOT warming your house to 95F to save money, of COURSE they are going to leap away as frightened as can be and go as fast as their arthritic hands can click on the YSSS ( Yuppie Scum Survivalist Site ) and soak in the perceived wisdom over there.  I suppose when you’ve been on the government tit all your life ( serve in the military, get free college, work for a defense contractor, get Social Security and a 401k backed by tax dollars ) you have plenty of money to do so.  Not that I’m bitter, or all that young.

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Look, I’ll tell you if you are a rich welfare recipient ( working for a government paid corporation ), a moderate comfortable welfare recipient ( social security ) or a poor welfare recipient ( food stamps, section 8 housing ), all the same advice.  Get every penny you can while you can, because it won’t last much longer.  The last time your tax dollars actually went directly to a welfare recipient was in the 1970’s.  Reagan damned the balanced budget and went full unplayable debt to meet the bills, and every president since then to include Clinton-who like the parasite he is, took credit for events and decisions made prior to his term but coming to fruition during-borrowed to run the government.  Welfare is paid for by unplayable debt.  It is literally free money as it can never be paid back.  Even paying it off by hyperinflation ruins the very economy you are trying to save so in the end it is still unable to be paid off.  So take every benefit you can get your grubby hands on.  And I’m not being sarcastic. 

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When we go through a systematic collapse almost nothing nor anyone is going to survive.  The free government money you take now ( or, free central bank money you take by loading the credit cards up with prepper goodies and then “selling” to avoid owning assets, then declaring bankruptcy ) will help a few hardy folks actually survive the die-off and will be the only resources not destroyed.  Think of it as a few Oil Age relics that are an investment in helping the species survive ( the die-off will be 99.999%.  Which will be more breeding pairs that survive than did after the 70k years ago Bottleneck Event.  But every extra breeding pair that makes it through increases the odds of the species survival by maximizing the genetic diversity, which is the only kind of diversity that is healthy.  Do the species a favor and kill off any surviving lefties that love gays and Muslims.  We don’t need that kind of dysfunctional thinking to survive ). 

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So, no, I don’t hate old bastards for being old.  I’m right on that doorstep at 52.  I don’t hate them for being on welfare.  I make fun of them, which is not the same as hating them.  I act hateful, but I have little fondness for the youth, either.  Who the hell thinks it’s a good idea to poke a pin through their eyebrow?  What insanity is that?  Lots of tatoos, I can almost see that.  I’d never do it, even on a dare.  A thirty year old hottie ( I have a hard time seeing gals in their twenties as sex objects as my daughter just turned 25 ) could promise to be my sex slave the rest of my life if I got more tattoos and I wouldn’t do it ( if I was younger with more of a sex drive, hell yes I’d it, a few hours of pain for lots of pleasure later.  Now, an emphatic no way ).  But the flesh piecing?  I mean, flesh rather than cartilage.  What self inflicted barbarism is that?  And what is the point?  Okay, I suppose if you won’t ever get a job anyway, why not get freaky to spook the oldsters.  But can’t you just get a Mohawk haircut and put eyeliner on one eye or something similar?  I look at grandpa filling his diaper on the golf course, then at some freak with lip piercing, I can go either way with my maximum hate and discontent.

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Jesus swinging on a tire, where the hell was I?  Even for me that was way off topic.  Okay, how grandpa needs to prep differently, other than motorizing everything and hence needing to invest in your own power station to do it.  Look at your older daughter that weighs a hundred pounds.  That is who you need to prep for, to prep for yourself when you are old.  That means no Mosin-Nagant long gun ( which also means no bayonet fighting.  You’ll have to splurge on a handgun of small caliber ) with its heft and kick.  You don’t have to go to semi-automatic if you lack the money, even though that would solve any issues for your firearm.  Little brown kids in third world crapholes can fire an M-16 all day long, so it stands to reason grandpa can too.  But if you’re used to thirty caliber bolt action battle rifles, just downgrading to a carbine round should also do the trick for you.  Now would be the perfect time to sell your old war surplus full size rifles, given the prices.

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You can go from 357 to 38.  Just sell off your bigger rounds if you already own the gun.  That is actually preferable as you have a heavier gun shooting a lower power round for less recoil.  You don’t necessarily need a 9mm, or a plastic gun.  If you still haven’t dug your underground shelter, now is the time to rent that backhoe.  Renting is a heck of a lot cheaper than owning.  Sorry you have to go up and down a set of stairs, but it will allow you to stay warmer with a lot less fuel.  Less fuel means less wood cutting.  The trick isn’t to store ten thousand gallons of propane, it is to need almost no propane.  Also, a rocket stove uses deadwood branches from the forest floor so there is no need for a chainsaw and heavy cutting/lifting.  If you can hike in your old age you can gather small wood.  Have a means of transport so you don’t hold the load constantly.  How about a mini-travois built out of the firewood?  Stock lots of bungee cords.

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Hauling water is going to be more problematic in old age.  If you have a bicycle for transportation now, you have your water hauler.  It just takes axel grease and inner tube stockpiling.  Go with minimizing food storage containers sizes.  Two liter soda bottles would be good for water and food.  Have plenty of those snap on tops for your five gallon buckets that twist open and close, to keep from having to haul the weight.  Rather than having to worry about how to electrify a can opener, minimize the cans you need.  Don’t stop working or moving, just be able to minimize it.  Keep in mind arthritis and lose of muscle mass.  But in the end, if you are more crippled up that that your chances of survival are crap.  You can’t really get around that.  Motorizing everything is a modern invention enabling old buzzards to survive, and post-apocalypse motorization is problematic to say the least.  For one thing, that is how you live now and since energy is government subsidized ( just as much if not more than the Saudi’s with their quarter a gallon gasoline.  Our “high” gas prices don’t mean we aren’t subsidized, it just means given per capita decreases we have to free market supply the demand to some extent.  Our subsidies are for volume, not unit price ) we have no intrinsic notion of its true worth.  We waste.

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You don’t think a five to minute shower is wasteful?  That is energy to pump and treat water and to fill a tank for gravity pressure, then the home heating.  That is a lot of energy wasted.  Driving five minutes rather than biking fifteen-very friggin wasteful, from the refining of overseas fuel to the cars metal ore to the paving of the roads.  When you live like that, when everything in your life is energy wasteful, trying to duplicate that at a retreat is nearly impossible financially as you are removing the subsidies.  And since you are going to be old for a long time, you can’t live the way you can now on grid.  It is just simple math.  You need to improve your diet, stay exercising and minimize the energy you need, both physically and mechanically.  You’ll need to do a little bit of the manual labor, but minimize that amount as much as you can by investing in the tools now.  But not petroleum using tools.  For instance, if you know that grinding wheat will be a problem, you don’t electric motorize the grinder.  Just transfer it from a hand grinder to a foot grinder ( powered by a bicycle ) as your leg muscles are far more capable than your arm muscles.

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Just as you invest in things to eliminate a cost later on, invest in eliminating a manual labor later on.  Not using electricity or fuel to run it but eliminating the motion entirely or as much as possible.  You still have to do your part later by staying in shape, but that can only take you so far.  A solar water heater, the box with glass to heat Mason jars of water, still involves some physical effort.  But a Mason jar of water weighs nearly nothing.  If you can shuffle along you can transport it.  That eliminates gathering more wood.  Still effort, but less effort.  Those are the kinds of things you think about for old age ( like installing a steep roof now, for automatic snow removal later-and don’t forget to cover the door entrance to eliminate shoveling there ).  An added bonus here even if you aren’t surviving the apocalypse as an old fart?  You use less calories on everything.  Food first, right?

END

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23 comments:

  1. Don't forget prepping for fat folk. 55 gallon drums of white sugar last for ever. Just which junk foods have an indefinite shelf life. Weight loss using the lean meats provided by cannibalism. Extended trigger guards on ar's for plump fingers. Super sized bomb shelters built above ground for stair free access.

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    1. LMDO ( laughing my dingus off ):)

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    2. HEY! I resemble that remark! LOL. No seriously though every sort of physical and many mental disabilities can be prepped for now. And eventually all of us will have at least one of them (i.e. old age) prepping for as many as possible with simple cheap and reliable methods. Being a lard ass? wide doorways is a prep for that, a prep that is also usable for other purposes. Being old? A grab bar next to the toilet is a prep for that, a prep that is also usable for other purposes (like helping you stay upright when as drunk as a skunk).
      A little forethought on how to handle the physically disabled in your preps (besides just the stew pot or heroin over dose) makes your preps that much more usable.

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    3. Forethought is so much more painful than shopping, of course :)

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  2. I absolutely agree with every aspect of the article.

    One of the core issues in survivalism is trust. The only thing you can really trust is that the other person needs you. Love, you can tire of. Competence can wane away. The trust of somebody needing you is the strongest bond.

    Since the moment Smith & Wesson made all people equal, you don't need to be a big hunk of muscle with ninja skills, because grandpa will still vaporize you ( https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/34/3c/7e/343c7e26cafe4a0dceb5df75fc3dab17.jpg )

    We all need all eyes & all ears we can get around our place, and video camera are poor substitutes for that. We all need to share the burden of chores, many of which do not use much energy. I watched my grandma sitting for hours "peeling" the green beans she collected from the garden she patiently tended. Digging large holes is a once-a-decade adventure, planting potatoes is a daily chore.

    On the other side of the spectrum, you might very well have muscular people who are completely dumb, yet their muscles is all they can contribute, and thus you need them, and they need you. Trsut is total. ( http://www.bluemaize.net/im/appliances/master-blaster-2.jpg )

    This is the basic stuff applicable to all elders, but it goes beyond. If you've seen stuff in your life, if you prepared for the big messy situation, you've earned the respect of the others. Who would you like see teaching your kids after you die in that raid on the Zetas' hideout ? That stupid girl you tolerate around because she's fertile, or that wise old coot who bought a wheat grinder when nobody else was ? (nonetheless, the stupid girl's tits move hypnotically when she grinds the wheat with a stone http://palladia.pagesperso-orange.fr/prehistoire/Neolithique1.jpg )

    I think survivalists are tolerated in America because they're being set up to be extreme individualists, even amongst their own family. Dumbed down like everybody else.

    Now, people forming communities, this is much harder to do but when it succeeds it's damn dangerous.

    Notice how the media portrays such groups as Appalachian hillbillies (or Branch Davidians), when most functional neighbourhoods are decent people. The movie "Deliverance" had a suburban idiot, a Yuppie Survivalist and two generic movie characters fighting Hillbillies, but in the dinner scene at the end it is shown that these were stemming from decent families.

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    1. Netflix should still be showing "Deliverence".

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  3. (Correction to my post: Samuel Colt made them equal.
    Smith & Wesson only made them more equal :) )

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  4. Water hauling will be the worst for those of us that could not afford land outside of the desert. Try to figure out an economical way to set up cistern if possible, in order to capitalize on the deserts limited rainfall. The Rancho Costa Nada dwellers were using garbage cans in a creek bottom at one point.

    For hauling it, the one minions good suggestion for the Chinese wheelbarrow is also an option. A bike will require more parts and service to keep it going for the long term. With the wheelbarrow, build it with a solid tire from the start and you will never have to worry about flats.

    For sanitation, and conservation of water use, consider shaving your head. Your head and hair will attract the most dirt and oils. Pre-collapse, you can use baby wipes for your crotch and armpits, and also for your bald head and face. When the weather is cooler, you can get by with this variation on the sponge bath for much longer intervals. Post collapse you will not have the baby wipes, so you will have to resort to a rag and soap. Avoid over lathering in order to avoid wasting more water to rinse off with.

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    1. The one good thing about hauling water is that with a good method you avoid living near others-should that be advantageous. Bike hauling would only have salvage going for it. Solid tires break spokes, which is the only reason to stock tubes.

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    2. For hygiene, you'll want these...
      https://deutscheoptik.com/russian-hair-clippers.html
      Much more convenient than shaving. Use mineral oil and crank the blades back and forth to keep it sharpened.
      Peace out

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    3. All of the versions on Amazon get mixed reviews, but since you are gambling here I'd rather lose $8 than the $45 your Russian versions cost.
      https://www.amazon.com/Hand-Clipper-Fashion-Haircut-Non-Electric/dp/B01DXBG0LA/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1498740728&sr=8-2&keywords=manual+hair+clippers

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    4. You'd have to look at the rest of their product line to understand. They sell the highest quality mil surplus from around the world (back when they didn't cut corners while manufacturing). These are smooth as glass and worth the money.
      Peace out

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    5. Ah, well that certainly makes sense then. I understood the copies at Amazon were crap, I just didn't know how they stacked up. Thank you.

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    6. The Russian clippers are very similar to some sets I have that were made before WWI in Germany, New Jersey, and Wisconsin. These old clippers are wonderful, esp. when lubed with modern synthetic PFTE oil. An essential part of "team gear" like cook pots.

      Once you have an affordable spot to keep forever, building for wheelchair/crutches access is a great idea. High quality and minimal size with lots of thought/engineering before the build will make it most useful. Passive solar air/water/interior heating (REALLY passive, manually-controlled & operated, or AT LEAST non-computerized), as well as pre-wired/battery-space for at least twice as many batteries as you minimally need, will minimize dependence on grid/fueled genset. High mass quick-clean burning wood stove (DIY masonry, except for the burning box) will greatly reduce the need for wood fuel to heat/cook with. Wood final-seasoning area attached to the shelter with the stove with a pass-through to reduce steps in the weather.

      Concrete is cheap for a while. Don't use steel re-bar to add tension strength, use basalt. It doesn't rust and crumble your pour. There is also woven basalt landscape cloth that can be placed in layers to stop erosion or slumping soil. Cost is about as much as fiberglass.

      9mm and .38sp are pretty good "old man" cartridges, while a .380 (Glock 42) can be handled by most arthritic grandmothers. .357Mag/.41Mag/.44Mag/.45Colt in light stubby pistol is painful to shoot much, but effective if you are medium size and have good hand strength. I've used a Ruger Blackhawk 6" in .45Colt and it is heavy, so not bad with factory loads. Pistols aren't just for defense, they are a great store-of-value.

      pdxr13

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    7. I'm starting to list all the degrading I've undergone in just the last three to four years. Pitiful. Heck, I don't even know how much longer I can make sweet love to my Lee-Enfield. Thanks for the tip on basalt/rebar.

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  5. your hair is fabulous.
    excellent article!
    when i beasme aware of 'prepping', i was at first worried because we cannot afford all of the 'stuff'.
    after much reading, and your web site, i see that the other sites incite panic and fear but what they propose is expensive and not really practical.
    my child and i cannot digest wheat but i have laid in rice instead, and dried beans ,too, since rice isn't able to provide enough protein.
    many thanks for your thoughtful articles.
    reassuring that i don't have to despair because i don't have the millions to provide a fortress for my family.

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    1. Appreciate it-stories like this keep me going. Have you tried sprouted wheat, see if you can digest that? If not, at least consider wheat grass, for your veggies.

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    2. thanks for the tip.
      i think there is a health food store that may have wheat grass. will try it.
      hope it works as i love wheat.
      if you saute wheat sprouts do they retain their nutrition?

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    3. Any cooking degrades nutrients but while, say, drying kills them all and baking kills a lot, sautéing should kill a lot fewer. It is best to eat raw but good enough to eat slightly cooked.

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  6. Great post (from the minion who suggested the new format).As far as water in the desert my father in law lives 20 miles from the Rio grande an uses roof runoff stored in two 1000 gallon tanks buried with a rented backhoe.2000 watts of solar panels provide the energy (stored in a tow motor battery) to get the water inside his hay bale house ( with stucco walls).by the way,he says the unibombers brother is a pretty nice guy.

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    1. Except for the "20 miles away from the border", sounds like a good setup.

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  7. That Texas desert land looks good, but early in the big waterfall of collapse, I don't want to be 20 miles from the border any more than I want to be 20 miles from any big city.

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    1. Although, granted, it is feasible if you are off the beaten path. An increase in your chances if not a guarantee.

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I must moderate-trust me. You don't want to see what happens otherwise. Sometimes it takes awhile to respond as I only check two or three times a day. No N-Bombs, nothing to get me libeled. Otherwise, have at it. If you criticize me, make sure to praise my hair first.