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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

ass fire


ASS FIRE

No, not the feeling you get from poorly digest Roach Couch enchilada’s with extra jalapenos the next morning as you sit on the commode and scream at all the gods to not forsake you.  I’m talking about lighting a fire under your own ass to get things accomplished.  On Friday, one minion recommends a Yellowstone Volcano fiction story ( quite good, although the author does like to wax a bit too eloquent in going on in Mitchneresque geological detail.  If you don’t mind longish tales that meander on their way-still captivating you to continue, don’t get me wrong-this is a pretty good one.  UPDATE: beware the strong pacifistic leanings of the author coupled with embarrassingly zero firearms knowledge ) and another evokes the Icelandic twin volcanic awakenings to give us a stern warning to prepare.  Now, to me, this is synchronicity.  A Native American- Indian, feather not dot- would not turn a blind ear to such coincidence and neither shall I.  For the Indian, nature communicated to them.  With me, Baby Jesus is tapping me on the shoulder telling me to pay attention ( the reason I give this serious consideration is that the book is a well written work rather than the normal putrid pose attached to the Post-Apocalypse genre.  Anyone could see the Iceland event and tell me to go read some related fiction.  But for a REAL good read to be introduced coinciding with real life events is so rare it sets off my radar.  Let’s call it PA-dar.  Get it? PA, Post-Apocalypse.  Radar.  Pa-dar ).  Am I telling you that the earth is about to experience a ELE?

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No.  The minion link provided a very emphatically non-doomer viewpoint.  I saw little reason to stress.  Obviously, I’m operating with not enough background information.  Knowing this, I reserve the right to go into full panic mode at a later date.  Right now, it is just an excuse to wake up from a coma induced by a rather long absence of any real worry in the Prepper Blog-o-sphere.  Oh, the survivalist blogs are always and forever going on about how we are about to lose our rights and liberties, but those are either the rantings of a misinformed mind-we lost the Constitution generations ago and even blatant signals by the Feds to this fact are routinely ignored by most, or those desperate for something to write about ( and, yes, I’ve written previously-long, long ago type previously- in both styles so I’m not throwing stones in glass houses here.  Mostly ).  But a true blue run for hills we are all about to die warning?  No.  Most blogs are just on holding action right now.  I’d like the Iceland volcano’s to be a true event, spewing enough crap into the atmosphere to plunge temperatures next spring and starting a global crop catastrophe- not as a human having to contend with it, mind you.  But as an impartial survivalist writer.  I’m tired of waiting.  And even if I’m not yet overly impressed with the prospects, it will light a small fire under my ass.  I’ve already started a list of improving my pantry when I travel to Carson next month and stop at the Dollar Store.  Extra dish and laundry soap ( far more than the normal daily use ), paper and plastic dishes.  Batteries.  At China-Mart I’m stopping at all the stores on the way there and buying LOTS of pouch hamburger.  And extra TP.  You can’t go wrong on either one since they get used anyway.  At Krogers, yet more coffee and tubs of shortening.  And that is just top of my head, without deeper thought.  I guess this is what life has come down to.  Filling up a house with junk and stray felines and dying to a eulogy of Crazy Cat Bitch.

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13 comments:

  1. Consider stocking up on some recipes for roasted cat. Protein is protein.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm... there is a PA herding job you have experience with James- herding cats! They can eat the rodents, you eat the cats at vegetation the rodents were after. Might still be too high on the food chain but probably better than the soft cattle now on the range (nothing like the old long horns of the old west or the bison previous to that...)

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  3. "Mitchner"?? I think you mean James "Michener". That would be a name worth getting correct if you are going to talk smack and try to present yourself as someone who is well-read.

    You have disappointed me.

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    Replies
    1. I try to disappoint everyone. That is who I meant, but you fail to take into account these kind of mistakes are made. Remember, I work a real full time job and have a two hour commute. Writing is rushed, almost always. One time I wrote Steven instead of Stephen King. Friggin sue me.

      Delete
    2. I think it important to point out that those of us who have followed you for awhile (and can tell the difference) gave up pointing out typos a long time ago. Most of the time we can tell what you meant and it is not an issue. Besides, who has the time. Hee hee. Keep up the good work.

      Delete
    3. Grammar Nazis suck...
      Intent is all that we need James
      Keep up the gud wurk !

      Delete
    4. I put effort into improving, which in my book is what counts. Not 100% or 0% perfect.

      Delete
  4. "Ass Fire; No, not the feeling you get from poorly digest Roach Couch enchilada’s with extra jalapenos the next morning as you sit on the commode and scream at all the gods to not forsake you."

    Good to know Jim. For a moment it sounded like you were describing Richard Simmons sex life :D

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  5. Man I love the end part about filling up a house with junk and stray felines. Well now aren't you just the poster boy for "Hoarders", except you have better hair of course.

    -Sumdude

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    Replies
    1. We already have a stray trying to feed from the inside bowl, but alas two cats doesn't make a Cat Lady.

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    2. Well it will make a cat lady if they are male and female unfixed cats.
      That would be a great start to the herd of cats.
      And think of the products - fake fox stoles, fake rabbit feet, fake coon skin caps, fake bunny fur slippers and mittens.
      Breed them for size and have them feed on not only the rats and gophers but the rabbits as well! and then you have the ACTUAL rabbit fur and left over feet!
      Hmmm.... Too bad I am allergic to the beasties, that could have worked for me too.

      Delete

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