Article 2 of 2 today
Apocalypse Feed Store
Be warned fellow minions. This guest post is just for you to kill some time reading and perhaps to help you feel smug about your lot.
So, the other week I visited my local feed store. The bad minion I am I hadn't been there for a while. What are you after? The shop assistant asked. "Wheat Berries" I reply in a friendly manner. Shop assistant doesn't hesitate "We don't sell those sorry". Hmm "err you used to". Shop assistant "I've been here for years & we've never sold them". Grrr "when I last bought them from you they were here" I touch the pick face.
So I left my name and number and they said the purchasing guy would call me during the week. When he did he also re-iterated that they didn't sell it and that the measurement for buying it is by the metric tonne. Yeah, nah I don't want that much.... or do I?......
Today (as of writing this) I went back there WITH wheat berries I had previously bought off them. Bada Bing Bada Boom I've got another 25kg bag at the counter. I purchased a bucket to store them in as well. Is it food grade? Well, it did store diabetic medication, but it won't effect your animals. Yeah but it's not for animals. What are you using the wheat for? Me "I don't know if I should say. Do you really want to know?" The guy smiled and said "I think I know" He guessed moonshine. Nope sorry I'm not sure I should tell you but ok. Two other workers leaned in to hear "I'm stockpiling for the apocalypse" Laughter. "No, I'm serious. This bag has enough calories for one person for 55 days" They look sideways at each other. "What is statistically the thing most likely to kill you?" They're a little nervous now. "Global catastrophe followed by war and it's associated evils. Starvation being one of them."
Hopefully I'm not banned from there
My Wheat Berry cheat sheet
450g Wheat Berries = 1500 calories
3.25 kg 1 week : 1 Person
6.5 kg 1 week : 2 People
Black Bucket (20ltr) = 15kg
15kg – 33 days (one person)
Wheat Berries 25kg bag = 55 days (one person)
Daimacous Earth (Food Grade)
1 cup per 20 ltr bucket
2.26kg : 1 years grain (one person)
/end of transmission