Monday, November 23, 2015

nerd apocalypse


The standard advice for entertaining oneself and cohorts for down times after the Apocalypse ( you are not going to go from cubicle warrior and couch potato one minute to working the fields dawn to dusk the next.  The Petroleum Slaves will slowly die off and you will slowly add manual labor to replace them ) is to stock playing cards, board games and used paperback books.  Easy enough, as Dollar Tree stocks ( or did-it’s been over a year since I’ve been in one ) two packs of cards for a buck and Family Dollar sells one pack for a buck ( where, meanwhile, back in the New Sears Formally Known As The Low Price Leader, packs start at over three bucks each, the thieving whoring rotten bastards ).  You can usually find board games for a buck at a thrift store, even though there is inevitably a piece or three missing ( with Monopoly you always have, strangely, some of the yellow or orange draw cards missing, or one denomination of money.  I usually waited for a thrift store special discount day, like “fill a bag for $5”, and bought a second set and combined the two ).  Thrift stores don’t really discount books like they used to, even as their selection of 70’s violent soft porn men’s serials are replaced by today’s women authors talking about the feelings of serial killers or whatever it is they blather on about, definitely a trend of bad to worse writing.  My local bookstore, smelling the inevitable over a decade ago, has half their store used books, with all the hardbacks $4 each-mimicking the penny plus shipping of a lot of Amazons stock.  They also take used paperbacks of rough shape and too many copies and sell them non-returnable at a quarter apiece.  When the planets align and all the gods, even Cassandra who wasn’t exactly a god but did have wicked if annoying powers, shine their benevolence upon me, ten for a dollar.


I’ve already stuffed one storage unit with used clothes, cans of coffee and bags full of used books, and I refuse to abandon a pack of cards until you can’t read them anymore, never to break into my Apocalypse card stash ( the girlfriend has great sport pantomiming great difficulty dealing sticky cards, making fun of this trend.  She’s a good egg.  We always have fun poking fun at each other all the time.  She had four or five brothers and didn’t grow up as a princess, thank goodness ).  However, as one knows by now or should because I make no attempt at hiding my quirks and in fact attempt to revel in them, I can’t stand by and be content with upholding the general consensus of the prepper/survivalist community and must try to show them up by one-upping them or disproving their notions or slaughtering their sacred cows and turning them into beef ribs ( which are oh so much more tasty than pork but try finding them even prior to the Texas drought and aquifer depletion ).  It isn’t much, a pinprick of irritation at the milling crowd of conformists, but I’d like to add a forth pillar of entertainment.  Most would deny rabidly, call me the kings jester and run away in denial, but I’d like you to consider paper book role playing games ( NOT the same as board games ).  More next article.

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  1. Good article. Here's my entertainment suggestions.

    Complete Works of William Shakespeare

    Teach Yourself Harmonica

    NKJV Giant Print Reference Bible (giant print, easy on the eyes)

    Morakniv Wood Carving 164 Hook Knife with Carbon Steel Blade

    Morakniv Wood Carving 106 Knife with Laminated Steel Blade, 3.2-Inch

    Swedish Carving Techniques (Fine Woodworking)

    Complete Starter Guide to Whittling: 24 Easy Projects You Can Make in a Weekend

  2. I totally agree, Table top pen and paper RPGs are the way to go, they are basically communal story telling with rules that encourage imagination, problem solving (and creation), math, science, battles of wits, cooperation, and can be done with minimal supplies- some are so free form that all you need is a central referee to coordinate and resolve conflicts (no pen or paper or polyhedrons required). Some can be downloaded for free from the internet.
    You can also spend tons of money on them if you get into them, but more practical preps are probably a better use of that money.

    1. Today's article solves the high dollar issue. Not exactly genius, but perhaps a heads up for some.

  3. Paper role-playing books (RPG) were a dramatic help in my poor years, they are a very precious improvement in life quality. Those who were into roleplaying games often continue playing decades later (I never stopped).

    One thing is that RPG players are harder to con and manipulate, it has been certified by psychologists and analysts.

    Check out my roleplaying universes :
    Solsys (in french) : Sci-fi, over 300 pages, lots of pictures and 3D images

    Solsys-Apocalypse (in french) : post-apocalyptic, much more modest

    And my most excellent survivalist & post-apocalyptic novel, "Glasses, Pulleys and the End of Bread" which James hasn't reviewed yet, probably because he's still dazzled by its goodness :) :

    1. Not reviewing is my bad. I started reading, and of course it was as good as usual, but didn't get very far as I was drawn into non-fiction again. I was burned out on fiction from Kindle Unlimited and need a short break. I'm going to cut and paste your last paragraph to todays blog entry so the minions who don't read the comments are reminded.

    2. Much appreciated !

      I figured you didn't thave the time right now. It also takes time to return to this rich universe.

      I'm going to finish this last 5% by January.

  4. Steve Jackson Games had a product called "Car Wars" which could be either an RPG and/or a vehicle demolition derby with careful speed/manuevring/shooting/targeting charts that operated in step-time with dice for randomness (crash/no-crash, hit/no-hit, declared point-targets, damage in progressive ways depending on positioning), all played with color paper tokens on 1/4" graph paper. The initial game was called "Arena", which was You Bet Your Life and your car for prizes on a closed track with multiple opponents. Last car rolling wins, or some other set of requirements. Without an RPG component, you don't need a Dungeon Master to play. Good fun for 11 year old boys buzzed on Jolt! cola and popcorn.