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Wednesday, August 9, 2017

one is dingus


ONE IS DINGUS
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note: preserving eggs in slaked lime, up to two years storage, YouTube "Top 6 Historical Egg Preservation Techniques" by "Townsends".  Also, what further proof beyond my hair that I am Baby Jesus' favorite?  I found a dirt parking lot stash of wheel weights-it filled up a half a large coffee can.  All my pockets were bulging and I had to pedal home standing up which is exhausting, but worth it!
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The old truism Two Is One And One Is Dingus.  If you only have one of any kind of anything, you got nothing because Murphy’s Law, the laws of physics, entropy and the gods laughing at your puny efforts will ensure that something bad happens to that one thing.  If you own one rifle, it will get lost, get bent, lose the one really important part you need, get stolen or just stop working as the Tommy Tactical Super Lightweight Ninja Rifle Company was substituting as many undetectable substandard parts as possible.  You need back-ups.  Okay, at LEAST a back UP, but preferably back-upS.  The same type but not from the same company unless you know they won’t screw you.  Just because the guy served in Afghanistan doesn’t mean he is competent.  I served with some real douche bags that couldn’t pour piss out of a boot.  Which, actually, now that I think about it is probably why these yahoos insist on a semi-auto battle rifle to compliment their carbine.  That one goes, they still have a semi because nothing brings out your inner Viking like standing toe to toe exchanging thirty round mags ( they of course can instantly change from berserker to World Record Sniper, but ONLY if it is in semi-auto.  With FLIR scope ).  Of course, just because I hate semi’s doesn’t negate the fact at least they are following the One Is Dingus rule.

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One retirement plan, such as Social Security?  Why, that certainly has a resounding chance of success, doesn’t it?  You can opine that since all forms of retirement savings are going to be equally imploded along with the derivative market that it doesn’t matter, which is true as far as it goes, but of course the government can always change the rules to its liking without warning.  Notice how your property taxes doubled this last decade?  You’ve had official notice of indefinite detention without charges, as well as the law making Bail In’s perfectly legal ( “bail-in”, when the banks takes your money which is now their money and promises to give you an IOU sometime really honest injun soon ).  And I trust you weren’t nodding off when I reminded you of the 1950’s Supreme Court decision on Social Security?  It isn’t a guarantee.  The government MAY if it so desires pay you but is under no obligation to do so.  My older readers are probably working up a big head of steam right now, but, REALLY?  Isn’t it about time you realize your butt buddy Uncle Sam was just whispering sweet nothings in your ear so he could have your anal virginity and that the promised Reach Around was just a myth?

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I’m sorry I’m not giving you advice at bumper sticker length.  Prepare yesterday because the collapse could be tomorrow but don’t burn your bridges because nothing is guaranteed and always assume the worst and prepare for anything and be ready for an economic collapse prior to the civilization collapse and food is first and the tribe is all and outsiders of the tribe are evil and will screw you so screw them first.  That simply won’t be on that sticker unless you use really small print.  And then what is the point if the other drivers have to get out of the car to read your brilliance and wit?  You might as well just get a poster printed up.  All of your money is probably toast, that is correct.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest in savings anyway.  You can’t just put everything into tangibles and tools.  You must plan for both collapse and no collapse, soft or hard.  This survival stuff was a lot easier when it was just a years supply of wheat and milk with a few extra boxes of hunting ammo.  So, I’ll now just leave you with the conundrum.  You need a back-up retirement.  How the hell can you afford that?

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You need back-up tools and back-up plans and it all becomes rather annoying and involved.  Sometimes you need back-up whatever AND a back-up for that back-up with its own back-up.  So, there you go buying an AR, which necessitates buying a second one ( or at least a bolt action 223 ) with of course that insane number of magazines and let’s not even mention ammunition.  Then you figure, hey, I know ammunition isn’t magically beshat from the rectum of a glittery unicorn even if my military tactics assume just that, so just for craps and giggles I’ll begin listening to Jim as my back-up plan and buy some SKS’s which I’ll turn into bolt guns just to shut up that nagging little voice in my head.  Well, THEN I get all worried about THAT plan so I get some rimfire arsenal sweetness going, but THAT won’t last long so I better buy a flintlock rifle also.  But even THAT isn’t enough so I buy a back-up SKS and a back-up flintlock AND all the spare parts for all the guns but even THAT is problematic so I’d better learn to manufacture crossbows.  But even THAT isn’t enough because I’m all alone and I need to arm some buddies, so TRIPLE all that.  You can see why few venture down that rabbit hole.

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Yet, a mad hatter rabbit hole it is indeed when you start to plan on a Yuppie Scum One Is Dingus Plan.  Now we are talking Rockefeller budget.  Not only do yuppie Scum live in perpetual denial about their future job prospects, they tend to attract Yuppie Scum Wives like maggots to meat.  And to assure HER future job security, Yuppie Scum Wives don’t mess around too long prior to squeezing out a spawn.  Don’t listen to their pinkie promises of career woman only.  Her back-up plan to getting a ring on her finger in exchange for a dry hump once a month is to get knocked up and be secure throughout her declining attractiveness years.  Her back-up plan for that is to find another schmuck trapped in child support purgatory and bed him, both of you entering middle age and willing to settle for third or forth best.  THEN her back-up plan for THAT is to kill the poor bastard off from nagging and impossible demands so he dies just prior to getting Social Security so she can retire without having to work all that much.  But, of course, to be fair, plotting and planning, rumors and rumors of rumors, all that IS a lot of hard work anyway, so let’s not be hateful.  Anyway, bitches do better than YOU, back-ups to back-ups with a back-up plan in reserve, all using one tool.  Embarrassed?

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So, here is your typical Yuppie Scum budget.  $1200 for a mortgage.  Two car payments at $600 each.  $200 car insurance with $600 gasoline for two extra long commutes, $300 for a family cell phone plan, $200 a week for food, NOT counting eating out, God knows how much for child care, or credit card debts.  Who the hell makes $60k a year combined, two jobs?  Less than half of the workers in this country.  A country with 30% unemployment, which in case your history comes from The History Channel which used to be The Hitler Channel because public domain film stock with voice-overs are really cheap, but now is the Doomer Channel because reality shows are almost as cheap, the Great Depression unemployment was ONLY 25%.  But don’t friggin panic!  Oh, NO!!!! Keep spending that impossible amount on renting/leasing/staying in debt the rest of your life.  Now, with the above bills, let’s try to add in prepping!  Wheeee, what fun.  Where does the money come from?

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Shopping at Geico for insurance, cutting out cable and watching Netflix and Amazon instead, and even shopping for a better cell phone plan, what does that save you?  $200 a month?  Even cutting back on Starbucks charged to the credit card-now we are talking cutting deep to the bone since times are tough!-will get you MAYBE $250 a month for preps.  Well, for frugal preps, wheat and bolt guns, junk land and underground hovels, that is great.  But Yuppie Scum don’t read my blog, they read ( insert name of Idaho “expert” ) and what they are told is, Yuppie Scum Survivalism.  Semi-auto’s, freeze dried foods, generators and ten acre ranches in the Rockies ( necessitating 400 feet deep wells, ONLY a mere $20k before pump and power and tank-but, sorry, with no guarantee the water table won’t be sucked down further by your neighbor ).  Oops, now that $250 a month doesn’t seem like it will buy all that much.  Better apply for more credit cards!  And how is the added debt paid off?  Why, forever fracking, Trump elections, ‘Murican ingenuity and hard work.  Starting your own business because, ah, well, surely those 30% unemployed can buy my products.  That’s it!  Simple enough.

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Why are these people even preppers?  They are so optimistic, rays of blindingly pure sunshine beaming out of their asses, how can they even think Bad Things will happen?  Now that Trump is in charge, surely, FEMA will be at their house first thing after a disaster.  Why prep?  But wait!  That’s not all.  If you order now, we’ll throw in…that’s right, bitches, One Is None!  You get to support a Yuppie Scum Wife With Yuppie Scum Spawn, employed at the only firm globally that will never issue any lay-offs, then get to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars prepping, and NOW you have to back all that up with redundancies.  The same folks that bought a million dollar mobile home on the coast in Southern California can also apparently back-up all their Yuppie Scum Prepper equipment.  Are people that advocate this secretly employed by the Federal Reserve Bank, because evidently extra spending money by the millions is supposed to be available to millions of preppers and the only way to get this is to have unlimited credit. 

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There is nothing wrong with One Is Dingus.  In fact, truer words rarely have been spoken.  You need back-ups on everything.  Every plan needs a back-up plan.  This is such common sense Prepper 101 stuff that is doesn’t even deserve comment.  What does warrant a discussion is how feasible it is using the Accepted Advice from the too well paid gurus.  Millionaire Prepper is a fantasy, spawning a multigenerational following which still after thirty years has no clue.  Fears of nuclear holocaust at the hands of the Evil Empire might have spawned his mutated creature but experience should have shown its silliness.  Although I guess fear of falling from ones wealthy perch is enough fuel to continue the delusion.  One is Dingus-if you can’t go out and ( relatively ) easily back-up everything, you are doing something wrong.

END ( today's related link http://amzn.to/2vVbWbF )
 
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25 comments:

  1. As always you describe the Yuppie Way of Prepping perfectly. But these people are really no concern to me, they will burdened by their stuff or getting in debtor's prison because of it.

    These people do the same with their preps as they're doing with everything else intheir life. They want the bestest rifle with the bestest scope for the same reasons they wanted the bestest car and the bestest McMansion : advertising their supeiority to the peons (it somewhat works) and keeping up with the Jones.

    So it's all about their position in the totem pole, both among "peers" (the Jones) and "external threats" (the unwashed masses).

    Hence, it's all in the head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I look at my position on the totem pole and am thankful I'm one step above the homeless and two steps above prisoners. I'm special!

      Delete
    2. That is a little low for me position wise, it is a position that is seen as vulnerable to the predators in authority. a step between homeless and middle class is better - or being known friends with or employing a good lawyer.

      Delete
    3. Yep, one is riding the edge. The magic number is three, whether compressors on a pipeline, or weapons, or women, or plans. If I don't have a backup, I've failed my mission.

      Hope isn't a plan.

      Delete
    4. "Hence, it's all in the head."
      ==============================

      Not always, and what's that they say about generalizations? "Spread your evil net wide enough and you'll catch yourself." Oh thats right, they don't say that. I just made it up, and yes, you can quote me.

      Believe it or not, no matter how low your financial station in life there is always somebody broker than you, so to them YOU are a yuppie scum.

      What about people like me, I can barely tolerate anyone, try to stay as far back in the dark evil forest as possible, and don't really give a runny shit what anyone else thinks about anything at all, but have ample coin to purchase whatever I think I deserve, and again, don't care one iota what the lessers are using for their envy of the day?

      Delete
    5. Lessers might "envy" you, but your betters "despise" you. Neither is the real reason. People just hate and make up justifications.

      Delete
  2. Once again I must wholeheartedly agree with your Macho Maned brilliance. Whenever I hear good advice like "you know, you should really have a bow to back up your guns" I look for a cheap way to get in the game. You can find a youth bow at Wally WITH ARROWS for $20. People would laugh if they knew you were planning to use it as a survival tool...until it was the ONLY tool available. Then they would praise your wisdom for having the foresight to prepare so inexpensively. It's BTN. Just like with food, once you have your basics squared away then you can choose to back them up with better quality. Once you have enough higher quality goods the roles reverse and your BTN becomes your back-up. If there's still time (and money) after you've gotten "better quality" stocked deep, go for the brass ring and start stocking "best quality".

    Start with 20 lb bags of rice from Wally. Store them as is with no buckets to protect them and no mylar or 02 absorbers. Remember we're going cheapest quickest prep first. Once you have a few months covered then go to better quality wheat in buckets. Once you reach a year or three of that THEN think about what higher quality better tasting foods you want to add. If you only manage to put away a few weeks worth of "the good stuff" when N. Korea blasts us into Armageddon then you still have your BTN and lower quality preps squared away.

    You know it's a good article when you get me ranting this long.

    -Novice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If someone's fingers aren't bleeding, I either didn't do good enough or bad enough :)

      Delete
  3. Two joints in a lid? They must be from Kalifornia man! (Old Cheech and Chong joke) $1200 for a mortgage? That must be anywhere but Kalifornia man! Unless of course you’re living about 7 hours away from the Bay Area, in which case you might have a $500 a month mortgage, but since you won’t have a job, you won’t be keeping it for very long.

    It seems that you have been rather quiet about the North Korea situation? Any thoughts? That could instantly bring us into the type of collapse that you’re talking about.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Here is my thoughts on NK. It could be a threat like Iran or Greece, the establishments propaganda to get us not to worry by offering Boy Cried Wolf threats. OR, it is that, but China knows that and sneaks in a EMP attack making it look like NK did it, then nukes NK for us to hide the evidence as it were, then they take the last of the oil. So, in short, it is either nothing, or we are humped. Helpful, ain't I?

      Delete
    2. Jim your thoughts on NK , likely are not far off the mark. All of these Trumptards/ Springer fan boys think that little Kim is the whole package. Hardly , in fact I believe Putin wanted the Orange one in there , knowing full well he'd get into it with NK.
      ALSO knowing full well that China will use it all as an excuse to slip that EMP device overhead. Of which I'm sure there are a plethora already in place.
      Once we are in the (dark ages) We will have little to say about how Change and Russia divide up the world.
      They both know our economy is about cooked , and soon we'll be of little use any more. They also realize that we will go to war to save ourselves. Best to preemtively strike and put that elephant to sleep.

      Fire and Fury ?
      ...what a freaking buffoon

      Oh the Irony...
      We have Fat man and a Little boy ,
      about to start WWIII

      Delete
    3. Ha! Love the last line. Trump was showing his ass, bragging on how he updated our nuke arsenal the last six months. Actually, he just ordered a feasibility report, not even done. Still Anyone But Hilary, but this guy just gets better and better in the Mo-Ron game.

      Delete
  4. My backups get primitive really quickly. Water pump die? Down to the well's overflow with a water jug. I don't store a second pump with a complete solar electric system to run it. At least I chose wisely when getting land that has water that overflows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have flooding issues, do you? I thought that section of the country got some historical 500 year floods recently.

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    2. No flooding issues. I'm on the side of a small mountain at 1000 feet above sea level. If I'm flooded, Noah was lied to.

      Delete
    3. I'm on the side of a hill. It will have to be good enough :)

      Delete
    4. I'm at the highest point in Melbourne, a whopping twenty feet above sea level. Everything drains straight into the ocean , but if the big tsunami comes I be screwed lol.
      But I do have artesian water !

      Delete
    5. Even if you could evade inland, the gators and pythons would get you anyway :)

      Delete
    6. They be easy pickins boss, just protein down that swamps grocery isle.
      Actually I'm like a mile and half from the actual ocean , with the barrier islands and all those yuppie condos to slow the wave down. Likely my place would just be an island fer awhile.

      Delete
    7. Naw . . . those critters would just end up in Spud's cookpot.

      Delete
    8. I like those of the preditor class smaller than me. If we move up into the mountains I'm sending the old people first to flush out the lions or bears.

      Delete
  5. This article here is right on topic :

    http://charleshughsmith.blogspot.fr/2017/08/powerlessness-and-consumerism.html

    "Consumerism is a simulacrum of real economic agency. It's a psychological balm for political and economic powerlessness, but it is no substitute for the ownership of capital that enables true economic agency."

    Frugal survivalists, having more time, doing more by themselves and finally haing more strategic overview, have more capital, as explained indirectly in the article.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't get to that one yet. VERY busy day on comments-not that I'm complaining. Someone loves me!

      Delete
  6. Never thought much of that, "Two is one; one is none" philosophy. Lots of folks can only afford one, and one is certainly better than none. It's more in line with the Rawles view of survival than us poor folk who can usually only afford one. I say get 3 or even 4 of whatever, if you can afford it. But one is always better than none.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You can't discount everything the Yuppie Scum Survivalists say just because most of it is BS. Some is right on. One Is None is correct for all the reasons first stated. Crap breaks. All it is, is the Belt & Suspenders thing writ large. Can't afford two expensive guns, get two cheaper ones. Etc. Can only afford one, you back it up with archery. It doesn't have to be 100% duplication, it can be back up of the same category.

      Delete

I must moderate-trust me. You don't want to see what happens otherwise. Sometimes it takes awhile to respond as I only check two or three times a day. No N-Bombs, nothing to get me libeled. Otherwise, have at it. If you criticize me, make sure to praise my hair first.