killing time 5 of 5

KILLING TIME 5

Stuck in your tiny bug-out location awaiting the end of the Die-Off so you can get down to the serious business of reinventing the wheel of the pre-Petroleum Age, after a reasonable period of “new old skills” studying you are going to have way too much time on your hands.  It is amazing how much of our lives are frittered away getting a paycheck.  Without that, you are going to need to divide your remaining day into Entertainment, Exercise, Family Time, Sleep and Choirs.  I would strongly suggest a schedule.  I usually get crap about that from the wives/Old Ladies ( “why can’t you be spontaneous?”, “sex on a schedule is not very romantic” and similar ) who only focus on the negative aspects and purposely ignore the benefits.  For instance, if there wasn’t a minimum number of times I expected sex, the end result would be they NEVER were in the mood ( thank goodness, not a current problem ).  And although it might be slightly ridiculous that dinner is every night at five, when it is NOT on a schedule one can get pretty hungry waiting for the “spontaneous, live for the moment, free-spirit” lazy bitch to get off her flat ass. 

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Schedules are more important to YOU, the designer of such, than the hangers-on/family-unit you invariably could use a little bit of discipline in their chaotic nihilistic existence.  It helps YOU maintain the discipline for yourself as well as others.  On days you are feeling under the weather, fatigued, stressed and angry, a schedule forces you to do what is the least favorite activity.  So, you wake up and exercise before coffee ( each discipline should include a small reward, so small others view them as necessities ).  And then study for X hours before a fun book or a movie.  Family time is always before “Me Time” and chores in between get you up and moving and active.  Just sitting and indulging in mindless entertainment will crap all over your discipline, make you weak physically but more important mentally, will give permission to the Maggots of the family to be even worse ( “I don’t care if you are only three years old!  Who drops a sippy cup at three?!  Who even needs a sippy cup at this age?!!  Drop and give me twenty!!!” ) and is all around Bad Form. 

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Get your lazy ass up and start pedaling  that exercise bike ( NEVER, ever, never buy a new piece of exercise equipment, only used.  Let the 99% of idiots who waste money on them by never using them past the first pathetic attempt [ “uuuuoooooh, it hurts!  It burns!  GROSS, I’m sweating!” ] take the financial hit instead of you ).  Hook it to a battery to generate some juice.  You won’t get much, but it gives an alternative excuse for exercise.  You’ll go Bat Crap crazy without exercise, and pedaling helps power the light at night to further keep Crazy Town in the distance.  Get ALL the Coneheads and Bitches on the bike after you.  You think the kids drive you crazy now, with a McMansion to play in and the outdoors to look at from the video game console?  Wait until they put all that energy into bellyaching.  Burn some of that off.  Give them rights to use electronics, as a reward and punishment, and force them to use non-electric entertainment games instead.

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Remember those?  Card games and board games?  Most kids lift their leg to those and you can find board games all day long at thrift stores ( pay over $2 for a deck of cards or they won’t last long at all-don’t buy those used-although usually the thrift store book section has a cheap “101 games you can play with cards” ).  Get every single board game you can, buying duplicates if the first copy has too many pieces missing ( I’m not sure why Monopoly always has certain denomination bills low-perhaps they are stolen and hidden for use later during Game Night? ).  Have classroom books for the kids.  With mom teaching and the kids pretending to learn, they are occupied and pacified at least a third of the day.  Anything is a school book if you highlight and make your own tests.  No need to spend more than pocket change. 

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Me Time is when the kids get their reward entertainment ( if applicable-the worst offenders can do dishes and dinner clean-up instead freeing up more time for the others to relax ) and mom and dad get to do Their Thing.  Spy thriller and Harlequin romance, blowing off steam with the other, whatever.  Try to have Escape Spaces, although that might be easier said than done ( I won’t get into particulars of your shelter, be it closet or house or RV, as everyone will be different ).  If nothing else, guard duty is the Escape Space.  You can’t have every swinging cheese dingus running around out there making noise no matter how often you beat them, and standing guard might be no more than a quiet corner by the entrance looking through a telescope, but it actually becomes a reward rather than a duty in some circumstances.  As you can see, none of this Busy Work is expensive.  If it even costs anything at all.  It is planning and attention to detail and enforcement that is the hard part.  Good luck, you will probably need it.

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