Once again, I’m changing my posting frequency in a fit of panic and weariness. Let’s try once a week, every Monday ( this will give me a chance to write on the weekend, rather than wait to the last minute at work at 6 AM and have no article idea ). Okay, I know I’ve done this many times before. So I’m definitely not declaring any policy etched in stone. Just, for now, until I’ve decided something, I’m going into a holding pattern. Let’s over analyses, shall we?
1) I’ve written regularly for fifteen years now. In the last seven, it has pretty much been every single day. Sometimes more than once a day ( yes, I think I really did over-do it the last four months by twice daily posts ). I’m weary.
2) At first, it was fun to go against the grain, declare all others asswhores, and charge the dragon. I was doing it differently, not giving into commercial pressure, not playing the game. As a result, my readership is down to almost nothing and my writing income looks like the US oil production chart over the decades. At what point do you stop beating your head against the wall? I try to fight it, I really do, but I want fame and a little fortune for my efforts as much as the next guy.
3) Defining myself, “I’m a writer”, was an ego boost and helped me keep going. This did absolutely nothing for all those others surrounding me. They were not impressed. More often than not, it was just ridicule. It almost seems that my life story will just be an accountants column tally and only money matters. I don’t mind failing in that aspect. I’ve never cared all that much about money. But putting forth extra effort, just to be snubbed for it? That also gets pretty old after awhile.
4) I’m not sure, but it almost seems like a little voice is screaming at me to stop wasting time on a futile effort. Because this whole thing can’t last too much longer. The crash has got to be right around the corner. I can’t convince 99% of preppers to actually prepare and with my loyal minions it is just me preaching to the choir. Nothing I say will convert others and those I’ve convinced don’t need any extra nagging on my part.
Again, this isn’t definitive. I could get my batteries recharged. Or, I couldn’t. I just don’t know. They seem to be about the lowest ever. This isn’t me begging for extra money. It soon won’t matter, so take your money and buy real tangible items to help you survive. Anything you send me is a waste to you and won’t make a difference to me as far as survival. Just continue being loyal minions and stick with me. I’ll see you all on Monday.
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