survival hermitage 9

SURVIVAL HERMITAGE 9

IMMEDIATE ADVANTAGES

So far I’ve been laying the Doom Porn on awful thick, talking up the advantages of getting the hell out of urban diversity centers and cheaply relocating in the boonies.  The apocalypse will kill you because X, Y and Z, as it were.  So let’s relax a smidge and talk about the immediate advantages to establishing a hermitage.  You can enjoy immediately and even without a collapse.  I do wish to perform a propeller beanie cap tip to my loyal minion who listed the following in a blog comment.  It all comes down to avoiding idiots, but I appreciated the help.

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No one is around to “borrow” anything.  True peace and quiet within the home.  No noise from neighbors.  No kids to bring their friends home, to ruin your peace as they case out your joint for “borrowing”.  No wife to bring her High Maintenance Demands home.  Now, granted, there are some downsides to the advantages.  You are old, bitter and alone.  Getting to town in winter is not too much fun.  You have to pre-plan trips to avoid solitude induced mental psychosis.  All in all, though, it seems the benefits vastly outnumber the costs.

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Obviously, I’m assuming you are setting up a solitary hermitage.  You might get SOME gals to go out and homestead, but you’ll never find one past an alkie or druggie who is content to stay home and stay stoned to move out to a hermitage.  They are far too much trouble, unless you get one that is a nymphomaniac.  But I think it is safe to assume 99.999% of you are setting up the site alone.  So, the advantages work well.  You obviously need some human contact, but avoiding people more often than not has its benefits.

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Borrowing is a necessary social activity.  It involves helping neighbors and pooling resources.  Unfortunately, in almost all places, you no longer have neighbors.  You have random asswhores living too close to you.  Sure, they might be good people once you meet them and get to know them, and if you think you can beat the odds, sure, you try that.  But the majority of people living in an area are strangers to each other due to lack of any social cohesion. I don’t think it is because of TV or smart phones.  Those were just tools to coincide with the cultural suicide of the last fifty years.

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Thinking you can reverse that trend by trying to befriend neighbors is ignoring why it took place.  Americans were a tribe, and those in power broke up that tribe for control and profit.  Our American culture is now the ‘Murican culture, and that is a Humpty Dumpty you cannot Gorilla Glue back.  Nowadays, if you help out a neighbor, good things MIGHT happen.  More likely, they APPEAR to be neighborly but actually just take advantage of you.  I can understand that your kids never borrow from you. They take.  But so does everyone else.

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Almost every time someone borrows something, it is good and gone.  The only way you get anything back is through an implied application of force ( for instance, if the friend borrowing money knows you know his boss, and can trash talk him ).  Or, when it get something back it is a long time coming, after some kind of damage.  If you own a truck, expect it to be borrowed.  To assure it isn’t mistreated, they “borrow” you as the driver and helper.  Understand, I’m NOT saying good neighbors are impossible.  I just mean, they are rare.

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Better to just be away from the borrowers.  It will bring peace of mind.  Even more peaceful is the total absence of loose flapping lips inside and the complete lack of traffic outside.  Remember Obammy, our Kenyan immigrant President?  Who could forget, right?  If nothing else ever would have turned me off television, he did more than enough to sour me.  Every time I looked at his smug rectum of a face, I just knew within seconds his lips were going to start flapping.  I dreaded the anticipation of torture.  Loose flapping lips are the worst.  I’ve had wives who were just like that.

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Blah, blah, I don’t have anything important to say but I hate you, I hate your dingus and I hate your dog, so hump you now and for all eternity, misery loves company and blah, humpity blah.  Good Dog almighty, if these bitches were made in your image, please send me to hell. It might be a sad and sorry state of affairs to have to go into town once a month, go to a bar, and hump the nastiest pig at 2am, but it ain’t too much worse than the nails on a chalkboard live in bitch.

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I’m not misogynist, you purple haired cat lady mother humper.  I love wives.  I’ve had a whole slew of them.  The one now is one of the very few who I genuinely care for, because she loves life and loves me for me.  But like bad neighbors, most bitches be bad wives.  Why?  Not because they are female.  Because they CAN.  They can get away with bad behavior, and any gender that is able to do so is not pleasant to be around.  Frankly, they are just dicks.  Why subject yourself to that nonsense?

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Even if neighbors are not dicks, they ARE noisy.  I have a theory about 99% of people.  They cannot stand to listen to the very thoughts in their own head, so they make enough noise to drown out the voices ( some do this with reading, to cancel out the voices with alternate realities in the pages ).  Ergo, noise equals sanity.  If you want to be a hermit, odds are NO noise is what keeps you sane.  You and the neighbors are at odds, obviously.  They might be sweet, but they are some noisy sons-a-bitches.  Having no neighbors solves this problem.

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I’ll continue this chapter the next time I post from this book.

( .Y. )

( today's related link here )

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