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Friday, July 28, 2017

paycheck prepper 2 of 2


PAYCHECK PREPPER 2
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note: via YouTube, cowboy coffee.  I thought the selling point was lack of equipment.  Nope.  Lack of acid.  Rolling boil, add grounds, let roll for a few minutes, throw in a cup of cold water and you are done with 99% of the grounds at the bottom, and did I mention NO acid!  No need to add eggshells or whatever.  Damn, it was nice to drink a cup of black coffee ( I've had to drink with sugar and milk due to my heartburn for the last almost two years ).
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Okay, for whatever reason you are broke.  You have no money, and I’m not talking like, oh, I have no money because I have a mortgage and a car payment and five cell phones and pay a wetback to scoop the poop ( remember those businesses?  Talk about hope springing eternal, some newly laid off schmuck thinking both you can start a company with no overhead or expense AND enough people weren’t laid off and had all the extra money in the world to pay you to pick up their dogs crap because their fat wheezing asthmatic electronic game playing kids couldn’t get off their widening ass ) of your dear pooch, but rather I’m talking about you having no pay and no assets and no joy in your life except the daily library visit when you get to read my blog and a free porn site that keeps jamming up the computers that are supposed to be enjoyed by ALL patrons and not just yourself.  You’ve got yourself a fine apocalypse road warrior weapon, a spear or bow or pipe shotgun, and a Sawyer water filter after cashing in one months food stamps.  You’ll still need a few extra supplies but, since you are NOT so foolish as to give priority to weapons over food but realize you need both, for now worry about calories.

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Obviously you can’t just piss away the other fifty bucks as you need to eat ( we go with a low minimum amount of about a hundred bucks per month per person Food Stamps-for some retarded reason now called SNAP-and use this as our benchmark.  You had taken $50 and bought food for a friend who reimbursed you $38.  Your weapon was $10-$20 and your Sawyer $20.  I’m not sure who has that retail, but online that is what they go for.  Retail would be nice if you can’t pay extra shipping.  You can buy online with no bank account, just buy a gift card ) this month so you will be limited your first time to a $8 bag of flour.  Twenty-five pounds of white flour is almost enough calories for a month.  It is a terrible food.  White flour, white rice, degerminated cornmeal, dry instant potatoes, all of these are calories without nutrients.  But lack of calories will kill you before lack of nutrition.  First, you get calories.  Remember, nothing here is optimal.  It is below bare bones.  It is Third World Prepper. 

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With your twenty or twenty-five pounds of flour or rice, your choice, you have a months worth of calories which is, very sadly, more than most people keep on hand.  Of course you don’t want to stop there, but my point is that for $30 anyone can be a prepper.  You don’t need a $9.99 an issue quarterly slick magazine reviewing products to gay that all up for you.  You can do it for $11 if you boil all of your water instead of filter it ( $8 food, $2 weapon and $1 pot from the thrift store ).  Even the homeless dudes can beg for $11.  You can trash pick two liter soda bottles to store your rice in.  I don’t know how good that will keep out wildlife, but how about lashing each bottle to a branch high up in a tree?  No one looks up there, and fewer varmints.  Good friggin gravy, this stuff is even easier than I would have thought.  Okay, you now need to wait a month.  Even if you didn’t buy a Sawyer, you can’t live too well on less than half of your Food Stamps anyway.  Even without the need to get any more cash, the storage calories cut into your bare minimum enough as it is.

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Until the next month, here is what you do to live on almost no Food Stamps.  Twenty pounds of potatoes is maybe $5.  A bag of flour is $8.  A bag of rice is $10 and several tubs of margarine another $10.  $33 for plenty of calories for a month.  You get three different meals a day, with some variety.  The potatoes provide all your nutrients except what the occasional green leafy veggie gives you.  I’d suggest butter rather than margarine, but that varies by climate.  If you can spend extra, try to go half and half whole wheat flour to white.  It sticks to your ribs longer ( although store bought WW flour is most likely already rancid.  The fact your body can’t tell, tells you how poor all the rest of the food we eat is ).  You might get another kind of oil to cook in, as margarine dropped  exponentially in quality as our corn crop was burned in our SUV’s and no grain was safe from the price surge and availability issues.  Margarine now has too much water and not enough oil, but at least it tastes almost okay.  Crisco, not so much of course.  Your call.  But the $33 amount is pretty close regardless.  When I lived on nothing but potatoes and margarine for a month, back in the Eighties, I think I spent about two hours minimum wage on that, maybe $6.  It gave me plenty of calories and I didn’t crave meat ( which was weird ).  Given the variety of the above, which I didn’t have, and the global drought/ethanol fiasco food price increases from almost a decade ago, I’d say double that ( minimum wage now $8, two hours would have been $16, so double my historical cost.  Everything else except computer chips has doubled at a minimum, so this ain’t bad ) is still a bargain.

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When the next month comes up, see if you can buy some wheat kernels.  Wal-Mart stores are all different, so yours might not carry the $16 bucket of twenty five pounds of wheat.  Due to the Mormon population here we have a short section of prepper food, #10 cans and some buckets.  I don’t even know if you can buy these with food stamps.  Are they a food, or a seed?  If they don’t have a “disaster preparedness” section, some stores will have a sack of kernels in the flour section, but they are NOT cheap.  Best if you buy from a feed store, for $12 you get fifty pounds.  But that would take cash ( I’m going from the viewpoint of the food stamp recipient here to illustrate the ease of even the homeless prepping.  I’m sure you’re not in this situation.  I hope you never are ).  The purpose of the kernels is for sprouting.  You don’t even need a grain grinder.  Just sprouting will make the kernels edible.  These might not keep you alive by themselves-you may need extra vitamin pills.  But they will see to it that white flour or rice won’t kill you, anyway.  Now buy another bag of your White Food of choice.  Your two months of food storage is now a whopping $30. 

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I wouldn’t want to live on White Food for too long, but it is after all calories you can easily buy and cook.  Just don’t skip the necessity of whole kernel wheat-those are the nutrients that will keep you alive.  A quarter pound a day will be a LOT of sprouts ( if sprouts still disagree with you, gluten-wise, you can grow wheat grass.  I’m sure it tastes like green dirt ) and you won’t need much kernels to keep you a year.  Seventy five pounds with Wally kernels is $45, $25 if from the feed store.  Twelve months of White Food is .30 a day, about $120.  I don’t know if you want that much, or prefer to veer off to wheat kernel only after three months worth of White, or whatever ratio you prefer, but figure a minimum six month food storage will run you $12 for a sack of feed store wheat kernels and $50 for White Food, and compute from there.  $85-$100 for a six month supply of food, a water filter and a range weapon ( the shells or the arrows would be a smidge extra ).

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If you were financing from Food Stamps your time frame would be about three months.  The first month, $50 to get cash and $10 for storage food, leaving you $40 to survive on, but with a weapon and a months worth of food.  The second month you could spend $40 on storage food leaving you $60 to eat on now, with an additional four months preps now in store.  The last month, get more cash and $10 more in storage food.  You are left with $40 in groceries and have $38 more to spend, as well as having your six months supply of prep foods now ( you skipped a month cashing in Stamps so as not to cut it too close for too long of a period of time ).  And it is actually just two months as you got three payments in sixty days going from end of month to end of month.  This is exciting stuff!  Of course, you still have almost $40 to spend.  What should you get with that?

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At the beginning I mentioned a knife and sharpener.  You can stick with the butcher knife or you can buy one better suited for combat or cutting thicker items than dinner.  The Swedish Mora knife is hard to beat, bang for your buck.  $15 for a carbon steel blade.  On sale, down to as low as $12, then you can throw in that Rada sharpener for an even $20.  You want the Rada.  I’ve bought many a different sharpener over the years and that is the best one if you don’t have the stone sharpening skill.  Of course, you need the Rada to sharpen.  It doesn’t re-cut the correct angle if it is off on the knife.  For that, if poor, you need a stone.  If you can’t use that bastard, find someone who can and fill get your edge back.  Then use the Rada to keep it sharp.  If you have more money, use the Lansky system to angle and the Rada to sharpen.  With the Lansky, and with older better steel that was unfortunately butchered on a grinder by underpaid labor, such as my Enfield bayonets were, you’ll probably want to add the rough diamond attachment for the initial cut ( the rough stone won’t last as long using this way ).

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Now get yourself a few to a dozen Mylar emergency blankets.  These are disposable items, so they must be modified.  I’d go to the thrift store and ask the help if you can buy soiled blankets they would normally throw away.  Then they are from free to dirt cheap.  Wash them yourself, and place an emergency Mylar blanket in between two cotton/poly blankets.  Secure, perhaps with those clips you use to bind a stack of papers ( clothespins wouldn’t be strong enough ), or worse but better than nothing, those $1 heavy spring clips you get at Home Despot to clamp wood together for gluing or similar project.  The point is to sandwich the Mylar in between two regular blankets to both protect it and to make the regular blankets much more efficient in trapping heat inside.  Boom, done, cold weather gear ( don’t use this out on the top of the Rocky Mountains and get pissed at me if you freeze to death.  I’m not sure how cold you can survive in with this.  Do your own due diligence ).  If you can add a squishy foam pad to sleep on, so much better.  You should be able to trash pick for this.

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Don’t forget to buy a magnifying glass or a plastic lens that does the same thing but fits in your wallet.  You’ll need fire.  All in all, I can’t think of an easier or cheaper way to get prepped.  Nobody north of the Rio Grande is so poor they can’t do this.  You don’t even need your own money, Uncle Sugar will pay for most of it ( I shouldn’t have to mention this, but “selling” your Food Stamps is a good way to get in trouble.  Most scumbags buy twelve packs of soda and sell it to a Habeeb store for half price.  That is how they have Food Stamps but no food past one week after getting funds in them, but do get tobacco, alcohol or illicit drugs.  What I mentioned is no where near as douche-ish, and is what I’ve heard of being done, but I’m just a reporter here, not a preacher or moralizer or advocator ).  You can improvise most of whatever else you need.  Happy prepping!

END ( today's related link http://amzn.to/2t8avol )
 

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21 comments:

  1. I think the role model for these fat, wheezing, asthmatic, electronic game playing kids, must be that fat little bastard Winston from the commercial. That lazy fat fuck, making his elderly grandmother go and fetch his fat ass a grape soda!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db6vGo7QJ9M

    I don’t know why, but potatoes are way cheaper than turnips at the store. Turnips however are easy to grow, and the tuber part can replace a potato, and the greens are some of most nutritional out there. If you have a little space available, it’s a consideration.

    Crisco (the white grease looking vegetable shortening, not the oil) also doubles as bullet lube for those of us that have muzzle-loaders. It’s a necessity for the cap and ball revolvers.

    I’ve always been skeptical of those mylar blankets, but your method of increasing their efficiency sounds like it would work well.

    Thrift stores are one of the greatest places on earth for us poor folks. I saw a Pendleton wool shirt at one, one time, but unfortunately it wasn’t in my size. But that’s a $100 wool shirt, for the thrift store price of $7. A while back I got 2, like new, Hudson Bay wool blankets (considered the best) at Ebay for a around $100 each. That’s probably too much for a poor prepper to spend, but these blankets now sell for $400. The point here is to keep an eye out for wool blankets and garments while browsing the thrift stores.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The grape soda vid cracks me up every time! Taters are cheaper for one reason. Volume. Same as 12g vs. 410 shotshells.

      Delete
  2. Besides the energy savings of no coffee filters, no cleaning the per ulator, you also only need 2/3rds the coffee!

    Cowboy tea, only 1 bag per half gallon!

    I heard boiling the coffee ruins the caffeine. It ruins flavor that's for sure. In winter I use my woodstove with a trivet to prevent boiling.

    Stevelo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't drink caffeinated cola anymore-any soda is fruit flavoured. So, if the caffine is ruined in cowboy coffee I'll know soon enough and pass it on.

      Delete
  3. Machete. Good enough for the Rwandans and a decent cheap one is only 5 dolla.
    Cuts wood and you could probably earn a couple of bucks weeding someone's overgrown lot they can't sell.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. In my experience the cheap ones cut exactly dingus. You'd wear yourself down trying to cut off someone's limbs. Plus, AIDS and other pathogens.

      Delete
    2. Make sure your machete is carbon steel, not stainless. Mil surplus or Cold Steel is pretty good for budget, but do your own research. The stainless ones are junk and will snap or fold the edge. If you're thinking of using a machete to cut off limbs, you have the wrong strategy. The machete is for slicing. It has a thin blade, so it could easily sink into the bone of an arm for example. The problem is it'd probably stick there, and you'd be unable to quickly bring it back, exposing yourself to the full effect of your opponent's weapon or possibly losing it entirely if your opponent decided to turn and run. Slice, not chop. Also, weeding with a machete would be a quick way to blow your back out, unless perhaps a person was unusually short.
      Peace out

      Delete
    3. Right. The problem is in the thickness of the blade and the hardness of the steel. Hard steel will hold an edge. Thin ass blades flop around like fish and can mess you up bad. And, that cheap 2 pc plastic handle with the seam that will raise blisters on your hands faster than you can count em. I found an old timey one at a junk store with the wooden handle and the blade was like railroad track - very hard. The wood scales stood slightly proud of the steel so no blisters were happening. I have used it extensively for loping overhead limbs in the woods and it works well. Prolly lop ears just as well. Oh yeah, the blade is really wide too, from front to back, not thickness though it is real thick too. But from front to back it must be at least 4 inches. It's a keeper.

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    4. Okay, going with the media induced image of Rwanda, my bad.

      Delete
  4. Dunno, not feeling it somehow. Context may be the problem. But there's certainly all kinds of ways to go about all of this.

    Way back early 90s I moved to Baltimore with a friend and, after getting an apartment, had 15$ for food and no furniture. We ate polenta, eggs, and oleo for a solid month.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oleo margarine is margarine, sometimes oleo for short.

      Delete
    2. Thanks. I wonder if changing its name makes it taste better? :)

      Delete
  5. On the fresnel lens, I recommend getting the biggest one you can. The wallet size ones definitely work, but they're slower and require more skill/patience in getting the ember to flame. This one is so great, it's just as fast as a BIC lighter (NOT an exaggeration). It'd be wise to keep it protected so it doesn't get flexed where ever you store it.
    https://www.amazon.com/Magnifier-Projection-Cz-Garden-Supply/dp/B00IITFX02/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1501289442&sr=8-2&keywords=fresnel+lens
    Peace out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://amzn.to/2uIa6ME
      If you want to buy one and get me commission. The only thing about the wallet one is it is always available and on hand, but Fast As A Bic is cool!

      Delete
  6. Man, talk about idiot, unreal posts.

    How about a post on how paralyzed people should prepare?

    And then another one on how the blind should prepare?

    Is it any wonder that you don't make any money from the readers?

    99.999 of them are lazy, stupid, AND poor.

    They can't figure out now how to get a few bucks and buy a few things but when the collapse happens they turn into f***ing geniuses and survive????????

    Yourself included goat boy. What ever happened to that idea?

    Bottom line, if you can't figure out how to make money now when the grid is up and there is food in the stores, you sure ain't gonna be smart enough to survive ANY real hard times.

    It don't take that long to write the crap you do, so what do you do with ALL your time now that you ain't got a job to go to???

    Reality Check Time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of dickness. How about, oh, I don't know, when the crap gets a lot worse and family and friends are asking you for advice and they are homeless? I won't answer your other rude comments, I'll just take a moment out for Zen calmness. Ohhhmmmmm.

      Delete
  7. Coffee? non-acid? Coldbrew!... just soak the grounds in water overnight, filter in the AM... Heat it up if you want, or (in 100°F August) just drink it cold... Works the same!

    NeilM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was under the impression the cowboy method worked best because it got the water/grounds hotter than all other methods.

      Delete
    2. 9:09 is right heat actually ruins coffee.
      Grind coarse and use a woman's knee high stocking.
      To do it right though it's takes about 12 ounces of coarsely ground coffee to a gallon of water.
      Use a gallon glass container and soak the grounds for 24 hours. I soak them in the fridge only because I like it cold. If you like it hot just soak at room temp. This method releases fewer oils and makes a much less bitter end product.and it requires no heat so you have the benefit of fuel savings if u drink at room temp.

      Delete
    3. You are trading wasting coffee for wasting heat, and heat is far easier to gather locally than coffee.

      Delete

I must moderate-trust me. You don't want to see what happens otherwise. Sometimes it takes awhile to respond as I only check two or three times a day. No N-Bombs, nothing to get me libeled. Otherwise, have at it. If you criticize me, make sure to praise my hair first.