paycheck prepper 1 of 2

PAYCHECK PREPPER

I trust you understand by now that I do not care for Plodding Preppers.  You know who I’m talking about.  The mortgage holders of a homestead.  The “buying a case of freeze dried a month on sale” folks.  The guys saving up for a bigger and badder gun.  Since you can’t, you know, time the collapse, although evidently they are much more intelligent than anyone ever in the history of mankind, since evidently they can in actually fact tell you exactly when they won’t have a job and the ghetto explodes.  They are so good they should go work for the CIA and forecast the next Soviet Union Collapse ( perhaps the CIA did know, as they orchestrated it through color revolutions in Poland or something similar.  I don’t know.  But I use the example following the perceived common knowledge, which was that the organization was as surprised as we were ).  I have no problem with someone guessing, as that is natural and human nature.  But when you keep staying in danger with your guessing, that is what I mock and deride.

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You can guess when TSHTF, but in the meantime you need to have an insurance policy in case you are wrong.  Having a stash of wheat and a bolt gun, before you ever even think about taking the next five years to buy freeze dried or the next six months to save up for the sniper AR.  The wheat isn’t going to waste because you’ll always eat bread ( you just might not have the eventual plan of living on it, as I do ) and if you have the bolt in the same caliber it can be used by another member of the group.  Or a burial gun or a barter gun or whatever.  Guns don’t go bad.  The quality has gone down, as with everything at the end of the Industrial Age, but it is still a firestick.  Well, hell, the quality of the wheat is down also.  Less nutrients from degraded soil, pesticides and whatnot.  But it will still get you through the apocalypse just fine.  The days of affordable quality are gone.  Anyway, no one is saying you are a dumb ass because you are guessing at civilizations pull date.  But you are a moron if you don’t have a plan in place to substitute for all the future preps you may never be able to buy. 

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But let’s say that you are not prepared.  Not in the slightest.  I’ve almost always had a minimum of a years worth of wheat on me, since the ‘80’s after getting out of the military ( they frown on buckets of wheat in the barracks-the other times were short occasions when I was with HOL-handmaiden of Lucifer, wife #2 ).  But sometimes I’ve had that and about nothing else.  Not a nice feeling, feeling vulnerable.  And looking back, it wasn’t even the feeling of being under prepared but of being in a location that was overcrowded.  I was feeling like a rat in a cage, and not even realizing it was because of the other rats.  So, if you have plenty of food and ammo, and still are feeling afraid and nervous, that is probably your lizard brain screaming at you at the top of its lungs-DANGER, Will Robinson, DANGER you stupid dumb bunny moronic ass wipe!  I’m forcing you to lose sleep and get acid reflux and keeping your junk limp, how much more clear can I get that you are in DANGER.  I’m a friggin primitive organism without the gift of speech, friggin work with me here ( Lost In Space TV show AND Austin Powers reference, a two-fer! ).

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So, if the friendly helpful lizard brain is hollering at you, and you are in no eminent danger of the other rats getting hungry and gnawing on your ass while you are still alive, that means you have no supplies.  The best tool you could ever use for survival is simply moving ( no spot is safe.  You’ll eventually be dead in a town of 500.  But in a big city you’ll be dead instantly.  You are not buying safety as much as time to get safe ), but the second best tool is basic bare bones prepping supplies.  What if you don’t have any and you are dog dingus broke, too poor to pay attention, broker than a politicians word?  We have all been there, and not just during college student days.  Wives leave you taking the kids, husbands leave you and hide from paying child support.  Parents get old on you and have made zero financial arrangements, kids suddenly move back home in their Thirties.  Few people have good, honest, smart, loyal families anymore.  Usually it is just one bastard taking advantage of a person trying not to be a bastard.  So, that doesn’t stop you from being broke, and we’ll cover that sometime today, but let me get side tracked for a moment here and talk about family.

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I understand you can’t abandon them.  But you need some tough love.  A parent that is broke but wants your help?  Fine.  I’m moving and you can move with me if you want.  But, snivel, whine, I grew up in this house, I gave birth to you kids in this house, I don’t want to leave.  Ma, the place isn’t safe anymore.  You need to sell this turd and come with me.  End of discussion.  If they don’t want to, off you go.  They had the option.  It doesn’t matter if they don’t agree with you about the collapse, they won’t.  To them, FDR was their hero and big daddy gov will always protect them.  You aren’t asking them to agree, just that they can’t have it all their own way.  You are leaving.  Come along or be left on your own.  Your spouse is a bit tougher, but let me make this really clear.  A functional couple will want to be together, regardless of location or situation.  A taker, a user, one in the relationship for what is in it for them?  They are not worth keeping.  Honey, I know you don’t fear the zombies like I do, and I’m not asking you to agree with me or help me, but I’m moving and I want you with me.  We can make it work, but I feel I HAVE to move, NOW.  I’ve waiting all this time because that is what you wanted, but no more.  Take it or leave it.

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If a kid moves in with you, it isn’t as much of a big deal.  If you won’t get caught, tell him to claim homelessness and get on Food Stamps, and then he is barely a burden, living out in the garage.  If you are staying at your job because you need their medical, well, you aren’t long for this world.  Buy a case or two of ammo, get an AR or SKS on the credit card, a few cases of MRE’s and a couple of bottles of whiskey.  You’ll be dead shortly, so make it count.  Take a bunch of the pukes with you, payback for a life dictated by the existence of criminals.  The cops aren’t to blame, but the politicians selling out the country and creating unemployment and crime, profiting off illegal drugs ( Kennedy‘s Da made the family fortune in illegal booze ).  Even the criminals aren’t really at fault, being pawns in a Machiavellian opera they can’t comprehend, but it will still feel good to waste their asses.  Go out in a blaze of glory.  If you are staying for any other reason, most likely it is all your fault and you are just a pussy and deserve to die.  Why even be a survivalist?  If you can’t stand up to a wife or an aged parent or the fact you’ll earn less, you won’t stand up to road warriors or invading hoards or being hungry.  See the above on medical invalids.

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Okay, back to dirt poor folk who have nothing.  You’ll have no choice but to be a Plodding Prepper, a Paycheck Prepper, buying a bit each payday.   The trick is, you don’t do it for years or even too many months.  You get it done post haste.  Lickity split.  You need immediate answers no matter how problematic.  You need to be prepared yesterday.  If you aren’t working, just on food stamps, you take half your amount and go grocery shopping for a friend, for three quarters of the price.  His $50 in groceries nets you $38 in cash, as a for instance.  When I’m talking dirt poor preps, I’m talking far worse than wheat kernels and a bolt action.  This is not a level you want to be at, but it is doable by everyone.  If you are homeless, reading this on the public library computer, you can do this.  How do you only live on $50+ a month food stamps?  You don’t eat meat that month, substituting butter and/or beans, whichever works for you.  Take your $38 and go get a weapon.  Easy, peasy.  Go to Home Despot and get some metal pipe and you have a shotgun. 

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Do NOT try for a 12 gauge!  The round is too big.  Do not be swayed by images of knock down power or universal availability or the like.  You can’t properly aim or shoot the bastard.  Go with 20 gauge.  It is more available than 410, far more powerful and far cheaper ( although not as, compared to 12.  Too bad, sacrifice those features ).  With the recoil of the 12, you are both in danger of the weak metal pipe being compromised while being used too many times and also of bruising while firing it.  Kurt Saxon in his Martian fiction had our hero using a piece of plywood or similar strapped to his chest and braced the slam-bang ( pipe shotgun ) against that.  It might work, or it might not.  You can of course explore.  It isn’t illegal to make your own gun, at least not yet ( it is illegal to have bomb making components, if they decide it is so,  so only have ONE threaded end and ONE cap.  No guarantees of course  ).  You can try it out and see.  Me, I’d just stick with the 20 gauge for its better controllability.  A pipe shotgun is just two pieces of pipe, one into another, with a cap on the end containing a piece of dowel with a smoothed nail sticking out of the end.  You place the shell in the smaller pipe, sticking that pipe down into the larger, and the shell hit’s the nail primer.  Grip tight!

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Or, if you don’t like that, perhaps you can get a fiberglass bow from a garage sale cheap enough.  I like the YouTube videos showing how to make a PVC pipe bow not by melting and flattening the pipe but by placing the driveway fiberglass sticks used for marking the road by the snowplow or seeing the reflector at night to locate the drive ( not placing the name right now ) down the middle of the pipe to strengthen it and increase the poundage.  Those can be made for, what?  $10 or so.  Nobody needs to be without a weapon ( of course, making one and carrying one or using one are different legally, so this is more a future apocalypse weapon than a crime fighting weapon ).  And of course you can always just make your bow out of natural materials, for free.  Hey, if you are homeless, unemployed, under employed or such, you got nothing but time for manufacture and practice.  I’m not saying you want to show up to a gunfight with a bow and arrow, but at least you are armed.  With the remainder, get a Sawyer water filter.  Perfect?  Of course not.  It is not a countertop gravity fed unit.  But it is super cheap at $20 and in theory filters tens of thousands of gallons of water.  The Sawyer is to prepper filters as the LED light is to prepper illumination.  Far from perfect but so cheap for such long use it is retarded to NOT have them.  Both made the lives of survivalists so much easier, simpler and cheaper.

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Now you need food.  Those you can use your Food Stamps to purchase.  There are lots of other cash items you’ll want, from $15 carbon blade Mora knives to the $8 Rada sharpener to plenty of other knick knacks.  We’ll cover the minimum in a bit.  Here we speak of priorities in purchasing.  I hate saying Weapon First, because you know I keep screaming at you that prepping is all about Food First, but here we are talking about such basics at this point it is a hard call.  Do you protect your life first, or do you spend that money for a months worth of food?  If you have the food, but no protection, you’ll lose the food as well as your life but if you are protected with no food you starve anyway.  If you are so concerned the end is tomorrow and you have less than a payday to prep, I’d do the following.  Go to a thrift store and buy a bunch of kitchen knives which go for something like 25 cents per steak knife.  Get four steak knives and one butcher knife, more stout and sturdy than large, and you’ve spent $2.  Now you have four spears and a knife.  I’d prefer distance weapons, which is why you want the shotgun or bow, but a spear is how our ancestors got to the top of the food chain in Africa.  You could do worse.  Don’t just lash the knife at the end of the stick, try to cut a long opening and set the knife blade, sans the handle, deep into the end then secure and wrap.  The idea being to really bury three quarters of the blade into your stick making it rigid as can be.  A floppy blade at the end doesn’t work.  Ask any gal-long and floppy isn’t the same as short and rigid.

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I’m stopping here and we’ll continue tomorrow.

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