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Monday, April 11, 2016

dried L&A


DRIED L&A

I really never thought I’d be moving from my debt free low tax off grid property back into town, so proud was I of having cheated most of the scumbag asswhores of the world ( local government, bankers, all those parasites involved in paving the country for our internal combustion vehicles, utility companies, contractors and assorted ilk, etc. ).  Living off-grid was never a hardship once I went below ground ( living through winters in an RV an entirely different matter ), even if there were plenty of odd moments I cursed the gods.  Regardless of the trials and tribulations, I was always ahead of the game money wise and so felt the trade-off was well worth it.  Having said that, there are a few reasons living on grid is worthwhile.  A VERY few.  Nothing I couldn’t have duplicated off-grid but nothing I probably would have, as I was putting the money into other worthy investments instead.  The Internet access, for one.  I loves me my commercial free NetFlix, and I can do so much more with the blog now ( the big one, doing the Amazon ads up properly ). 

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The other is a few electric appliances I missed for their year round convenience.  The microwave ( which, even with increased solar panels, would still have seen days of self imposed inactivity due to battery drain fears ).  The deep fryer, cause I love French fries and I used to be confined to eating them once every few months ( there was only one place in town doing raw cut rather than frozen ).  But most important, now, a food dryer.  For a gift to each other,  me and the New Old Lady went halves on a Presto brand “Dehydro”.  It had the best Amazon reviews and got free shipping when we added two more trays to the purchase ( so, we now have six total ), although now the free shipping has changed to “over $49” from the “over $35”.  Although the book free shipping was reduced back down to the original $25, so I call it a better deal for me.  And while it ain’t cheap to run on certain foods, we get the food for free most of the time, working for the food bank ( I met her when she was hired to work the kitchen, and the same boss is in charge of both the food bank and the kitchen.  She approves the perishable surplus food we can take.  We aren’t robbing any poor people of food, there is so flippin much of it most days-as I can attest from having to lug the crap around all day ).

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Off grid, I would be at a severe disadvantage trying to dry food, although I would have gotten around to it eventually.  But now, drying is close enough to PITA free.  Which is why it took me two years to try a wonderful idea I gleamed from a super-duper prepping book I think every one of you would like.  “Prepping For Armageddon On A Budget, book 1” by Charlie Bennett ( there never was a book #2 released ).  I’ve read that sucker four times, at least, and even got a paper version of it ( the Kindle version is a mere 99 cents ).  This sucker has truly unique frugal prepping ideas seen no where else.  I don’t agree that all are a good idea, nor is the prepping in place plan, but the author has created a goldmine of frugal prepping plans.  He even has a great sense of humor ( surprisingly, all of the non-officer Marines I’ve ever met have great senses of humor.  Odd, after being issued the standard rectal stick, but there you have it ).  So, seriously, order a copy of this book so I can get my 6% commission and you can find out how easy it is to open your mind to new possibilities, and then I can move on to the great idea.

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This is NOT my idea, but Charlie’s.  I’m shamelessly stealing it, but I claim no originality on it.  Dried hot dogs.  Gross, right?  NO, not at all.  Not only does it drastically

improve the taste, from putrid rotting floor sweepings Lips And Arseholes to tasty, can’t eat just one, blobs of dead animal flesh protein, it is a great way to store protein for the Apocalypse.  Now, I hate Spam and bologna and hot dogs and all similar fake meat products.  Hate them with a purple passion ( although not as much as cooked veggies-raw veggies are great, cooked are abominations and abortions ).  I forced myself to stock around sixty or so Treet cans of meat ( they were just a smidge over a buck each ), but planned to only eat them when my protein cravings got out of control.  I had few good ideas for post-apoc dead animals, as it was too costly or too gross tasting.  I never pretended to like what I had available ( expensive dried beans, expired dry milk, canned meat, VERY expired #10 cans of margarine powder which wasn’t even really a protein ), with the exception of a few minion gifted cans of bacon. 

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But now?  Praise the lord and pass the ammunition!  Now I have a cheap to free protein storage food ( yes, of course, assuming the ass doesn’t fall out from under us soon ).  I bought the nastiest tasting cheapest produced hot dogs I could find ( it wouldn’t really be a true test with Nathan’s, now would it? ) and dried it this last weekend.  And I was suitably impressed.  Enough to highly recommend them to you, my adoring minions.  Slice the dogs so they resemble a roll of nickels ( get them as thin as that coin, if possible ), throw them on your food dehydrator-I got a pound on each tray for the regular size ones, half a pound for the plump size dogs- and run that sucker about twenty hours.  Yes, 20.  Sorry, it ain’t quick ( and your mileage may vary ).  They won’t be rock hard, but slightly chewy in the center.  They should be dark chocolate brown, not burnt black.  Charlie claims a two year or so shelf life at ( coolist possible ) room temperature in a zip lock bag.  I shouldn’t be so excited, as now I have yet another monetary funds demanding project, yet I can’t help myself.  Life without meat is a nightmare ( you all know by now the issues facing me in this dry cold climate, prior to reintroducing free range sheep ), and now relief is in sight.  I wouldn’t reconstitute this stuff in water to add to meals.  Then it would just taste like nasty hot dogs again, most likely.  But it is a jerky like snack to go along with parched corn or other grains. 

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Addendum: test out your brand of dogs first.  When I dried what I considered the bottom of the barrel quality wise, it must have been mostly chicken meat.  No fat.  When I tried an Oscar Myer all beef dog, the entire bottom of the dryer was swimming in grease.  I’ll feed those to the canine rather than try to store, they were so greasy.  I doubt they would store without rancidity.  Charlie mentioned his dogs were the 88 cent Wally World dogs, so you might want to try those.  Remember, you only jerk lean meats for long term storage, not fatty ones.

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14 comments:

  1. Dehydrated hot dogs as a survival food?

    I have to admit, I never would have thought of that.

    I guess that's why I'm a minion and you're Lord Bison.

    Idaho Homesteader

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    1. He dried other meats, cooked first. Just like dogs. But it was a stroke of genius to try dogs. On this idea, I can only claim credit as far as being much wider read.

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  2. Thanks for the mention of the book "Prepping For Armageddon On A Budget, book 1” by Charlie Bennett"

    I'm going to put it on the list to get soon.

    As far as saving hot dogs, I have canned them with no trouble.


    Chuck Findlay

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    1. Get the kindle version. It's a buck, it is well organized by chapters to easily find things again, and it probably gives the author more commission. Canned dogs-BLECH!

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  3. I can see the use of dehydrated hot dogs. Lets see Fish bait, traps . Not being judgmental but opossum. coons sound more appealing in your hood think armadillo's.

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    1. Dogs only taste great in comparison to most other storage meats of an affordable nature.

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  4. “Off grid, I would be at a severe disadvantage trying to dry food, although I would have gotten around to it eventually.”

    You would be limited to the summer months to do all of your drying, but I would think that the dry high desert climate would be particularly useful for this application. You would need some sort of screened in container, with fine mesh screen to keep the parasites at bay, but it would probably work quite well given the climate.

    “Dried hot dogs.  Gross, right?  NO, not at all.  ”

    “They won’t be rock hard, but slightly chewy in the center.  They should be dark chocolate brown, not burnt black.”

    I don't know James? Something tells me that this is something that I'd have to choke down if I was anything short of starving to death. And if someone asked me what was the least healthiest food that you could pick to eat, I'd probably answer hotdogs. Yes, I understand that it's all about survival calories, and not worrying about dying from cancer 20 years after the collapse, but it still has a negative side effect psychologically speaking.

    Now here's a thought, perhaps a bad one, but a thought none the less. What about pickling them? I recall those pickled snack sausages that you see in the liquor stores, and they were quite palatable. Also, what about pemmican or home made jerky? You might be able to find beef on special at a farmers market or on sale at other venues.

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    1. I can't imagine being able to store so many dogs, for five people, that we get tired of them or they kill us early. It is a short term item like those cans of Treet. I do like your idea of pickled dogs, but pickling is a very unhealthy way to preserve, itself.

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    2. “but pickling is a very unhealthy way to preserve, itself.”

      Huh? How so James? I had never before heard that? I'm talking about using apple cider vinegar, and perhaps just a few spices. I was under the impression that apple cider vinegar was good for you?

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    3. I've been told cultures with high pickling foods consumption have increased stomach health problems. I can't say if it is true, but begs further research. I believe the issue is "abnormally high levels of consumption" and where do you draw the line there? Smoking and salting have their own health issues. Just saying, use a bit of prudence.

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    4. Yes, some further research is in order. I know that a lot of the smoked products that you buy also contain that nasty sodium nitrite. But I would imagine that even a naturally home smoked product would probably contain some carcinogenic matter? That's why drying is a better alternative. With regards to salt, I have read that it is processed salt that primarily causes hypertension, and that natural sea salt is actually healthy to consume. But again, this would have to be verified for those that suffer from hypertension.

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    5. Reading up on old timey salting, sea salt had so many impurities that mine salt was much better. And that was before Fukishima! Of course, in Old Timey Land, you used what you could, but just beware sea salt, gathered primitively, leaves a lot to be desired preservation wise.

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  5. (I really never thought I’d be moving from my debt free low tax off grid property back into town.)

    So are you, or did you come over to the dark side and move back to a town?


    As far as running a dehydrator without grid power, people have been doing it for 5-K years. There is this big ball in the sky that can help you do it.

    I have a dehydrator that looks like and is the size of a microwave that works great, it has temp & humidity knobs on it. I never hooked it up to the Kill-O-Watt meter to see what it uses.

    But I also have an inexpensive one that is made by popeal (Ronco guy that sold just about every gimmick made on TV) that uses little power and could work off-grid. But while it uses little power, a dehydrator needs to run for a long time and it could add up amperage wise.

    Solar is probably the best off-grid way to dry things as it uses no power.


    Chuck Findlay

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    1. Been in town for a year now. Only five miles away from the B-POD so even under the worse scenario I can get back then with no problem. As a young lad I helped Mom build and use solar drying trays-the concept is familiar to me. It is bringing the crap back in at night, then not being able to bring back out until after work that was the issue.

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