Thursday, December 27, 2018

guest article ( article 2 of 2 today )

( article 2 of 2 today )

Rain and Spiders oh my! Part One

Hello Minions *Shows BISON morale patch*

I trust everyone had a great Christmas. There was plenty of bread and honey to go around at Fort Dingo for friends and family. Fort Dingo may as well be on the moon for you lot, and the armaments are made up of a martini action shotgun, a coach gun (is it to be used by or on a football coach? Asking for a friend) and bad language (French .... Just joking) but you're more than welcome to come around.

I digress. Early in the year I got a bonus from work for being so handsome #metoo. The very same day a survival course I'd been eying off but couldn't afford was offered at half price. I swear on my wheat berry stash that the two amounts married up. It was a sign that it was meant to be.

Fast forward to December when I had booked it. It was only an overnighter so if worse comes to worse. Severe storms are forecast. Oh great.

First issue - finding the place. No cell phone coverage so using your phone as a GPS (if you didn't download the map) was one issue. Secondly you couldn't call the guy because of the lack of coverage. Thirdly, I don't know what sort of joker has two roads with the same name in the same suburb. I mean, come on. Fourthly, "meeting point is where X,Y,Z is". Cool. I find X & Y but no Z.... Without boring you but Y was overgrown with bushes.

OK so everyone is there and we all travel in the back of an old Army Land Rover. Two trips because there's 13 of us. I like the old Land Rovers. If you scratch the paint who’s going to GAF? Get some house paint and you're sorted.

Now, have you guys ever come across someone and knew instantly they were someone you weren't to mess with? I'm not talking about the impression you get from a doorman or an angry Maori. I'm talking about something a lot more dangerous. He gave off real danger sort of vibe. Nothing you can put into words but a gut feeling. A little off putting. Suffice it to say I ensured I didn't upset him.

I tried to explain it to my wife but she just didn't get it. I'm getting distracted again but I think this is an important tangent. More than a few times I've had dealings with people who my gut feeling was warning me not to trust them. Of course like we all do I ignored those gut feelings as I couldn't say why I had them. I mean, I only met the guy, why should I distrust him? He's friendly! etc etc. Now some of those warnings eventually were proven to be correct. Psycho neighbour, thieving co-worker, violent acquaintance, rapist wife’s friends husband, wife basher. You know, salt of the earth. Other times that warning didn't come to anything. However I now think that the warnings were right, I was just oblivious to the proof.

Now it's my rule to listen to my gut / intuition and if my dog doesn't like someone then nor do I (she's proven to be an excellent judge of character)

To be continued......


  1. I call it character recognition, Dingo, and I've been aware of it for a long time, since my teens. In the early days I ignored it and mostly payed dearly for that decision. When meeting someone for the first time there is an immediate "spidey sense" and as the meeting moves forward that feeling intensifies. For me, and probably others too, there is just no getting along with some people not matter how much you try. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and by looking in them they can be read and interpreted mostly from past experiences with similar people. The danger you mentioned was a warning from within. Respect it.

    I too have told my wife about this and she didn't get it. Until I reminded her of a time when she did the same thing with a woman that she met. Everybody gets these "gut feelings" but most people don't pay attention to them, to their peril. Good point, and one that may become more valuable in the future.

    1. Lizard brain always in full alert mode. Completely ignored by most. A guy can sense violent intent and a woman can almost "smell" perverts, but we STILL want to ignore the lizard man.

  2. Dogs can often be a good judge of character, but it can also be hit or miss sometimes. Our Australian cattle dog Rosie, trusting of practically no one, took kindly to what later turned out to be the friendly, community, child molester :D (true story).

    You should have hired on Harry Butler as a guide, to take you in the wild with his Range Rover; he would have found it, no problem :D (Remember that dude?)

  3. Replies
    1. Huh? I’d figured for sure that you would have known about him Jim. Here in the states, that In The Wild series aired on Discovery channel back in the 80’s (apparently it was actually filmed in the 70’s) back when the Discovery channel was still an actual valid learning channel. Sadly, we lost Mr Butler back in 2015. I liked him a heck of a lot better than that insane, crocodile hunter joker (Steve Irwin). I’ve noticed that a lot of these biologist dudes have a screw loose (That Jeff Corwin character is another one) but Ol’ Harry was a straight shooter. I might just pick up the series at Amazon for nostalgia sake.

    2. Never really had cable, hence no Discovery channel :(

    3. Don't forget about Les Hiddins, aka Bush Tucker Man. I've seen a few of his videos - they are good !

  4. I may be mistaken, but my understanding of what a 'coach gun' is is a double barrelled side by side shotgun. The guard riding beside the coach driver rode 'shotgun', hence the modern term of why calling out 'shotgun' is front passenger side of vehicle.

    Gut feelings - trust them. The head can be fooled and the heart can be lied to but the guts are what is really happening. And the real bad asses don't have to advertise their orientation - lions don't have to advertise they are lions.

    1. Kids don't know what century the War Of Northern Aggression happened, but they know "shotgun".

    2. @10:21, you are indeed correct. At least that’s the definition of one here in north America. Here are some photos of my vintage L.C. Smith Coach Gun.

      A close up of the lock mechanism

      Take a close look at the inscription. There’s a good chance that this thing has actually shot someone! (Rock River Police Dept Wyoming, in case it’s hard to read).

    3. I was being silly when I asked if a coach gun was for coaches :-P

      Here's a link to an excellent bit of info on them.

    4. @ Anon 2:04 - what a beauty. I love historical firearms that still go. You have to wonder what it's seen.

    5. Thanks Dingo. I’ve never actually fired it. One time I made up some special shells for it, cut down to the shorter chamber lengths of the old gun (2-5/8” and a patent date of 1896) and loaded with black powder. Didn’t have the cajones to try it though.

    6. @Anon, that is a keeper right there. Pull both triggers at the same time and that thing'll put you in the ER! HA!

  5. re:

    In the early-1970s, I attended air-cop school at Lackland AFB in Texas, specializing as a dog-handler. Apparently, somebody thought I showed promise (or they were short of staff), and invited me to return as an instructor.

    In those days, prior to politic correctness, our dogs were rough, accustomed to doling it out without mercy.

    Occasionally, our training 'targets' were well-padded SEALS and Green Berets and early ParaJumpers. Most were terrified of our dogs, and with valid reason. We trained to kill.

    One SEAL consistently stopped our killers in their tracks. This psycho [insert naughty word] could create such intense power on-demand, it was a physical presence. Literally, his 'vibe' was like walking into a wall.


    For our off-duty amusement, we slopped our uniforms and 'drunk'-staggered, singing slurred off-key lyrics to Mexican songs, around troublesome sections of San Antone, trolling for wannabe thugs to rob us. We weeded-out a lot of the 'monkey' population, while accumulating an impressive collection of knives and firearms... and wallets. But, no, contrary to reports, we rarely took all the clothes from their unconscious broken bodies... or ears. Or filled their mouths with feces. Those are merely legends by the hangers-on at the Veterans Of Foreign Women.

    I'm pretty sure the statute-of-limitations expired... along with the vast majority of our front-line snake-eaters. Wars are hard on the best of the best; slackers tend to survive == and reproduce == because we have so many of the dang things.

    But, for us, it was fun while it lasted. Would I do it again? YeeHaw!