CARGO BUG OUT BIKE
A propeller beanie hat tip to
Survival Prepping For Normal People for blathering on incessantly, which means
he throws out a ton of ideas every video and if the stars and planets align and
my brain is functioning I get to steal said ideas, make them my own and take
all the credit. Today, NOT about using a
bicycle to bug out as a transportation vehicle, but about using a bike as a
trailer to haul all that gear that would normally break your back if you tried
to carry it. Now you can carry even the
kitchen sink!
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Most affordable bikes can carry about
250 pounds of passenger. If I eat like a
cow and do no exercise, at my worst I might edge close to two hundred. That easily gives me fifty pounds to carry,
which is about all you want to carry in your baskets because by that point the
whole thing is top heavy and a bit unstable.
And fifty pounds is about twice what you ever want to carry if you want
to remain Light Infantry ( the US military has zero idea what the concept means,
their definition of “light” being half your body weight rather than three
quarters ).
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I’ve ridden my hobby horse of over-burdened
RoboCop troops before. No one listens,
except a few that have tried to haul that weight around before. If you want to move fast to flee trouble, or
carry so little you cease to trample the landscape like a wounded water
buffalo, you must define “necessary gear” a LOT differently. At that point even a secondary weapon is too
much ( keep in mind infantry carrying pistols is relatively recent ). But, since no one listens, let’s redefine HOW
you carry all that crap you think you need.
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I can whine and beg but you still
think you need to emulate the military and carry 150 pounds of gear. Fine.
Whatever. But we CAN agree that
you are an old out of shape pussy that cannot realistically carry what you
think you need. All the Militia Porn
Stars on YouTube tell you to get in shape and Start Rucking It! Well, hump that. Sure, get in shape, by all means. But if you are realistic with yourself, you
understand that even the mightiest ninja warrior king eventually loses testosterone
and hence ability.
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Nothing is sadder than an old warrior
unable to admit he is getting too old.
Hey, we all love competition and proving ourselves. Prove you are better than your own age group,
not someone thirty years younger than you.
Act your age, you pathetic hump.
If you need mechanical assistance to haul gear, fine. A motor vehicle is NOT realistic, but you
still need to take the weight off your back.
A bicycle is just the ticket.
Hint: get them NOW, before
gasoline shortages and price hikes deplete the entire supply. Extra Helpful Hint: NOW, you lazy sorry simple bastard!
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What part of Now do you not
understand? Bikes used are going for $20
or $30. Not a beach cruiser ( single
speed adult bike ). No one seems to
like, own or want to get rid of theirs.
Everyone wants those Dog Awful one hundred and three gears of Mountain
Bike. Because you are all so cool and
groovy, and you pedal up to the top of the world and beat on your man boobs in
orgasmic sportsman’s glee, howling below at your inferiors. Please, Afro-American! Your pathetic ass can’t even bike to work on
level asphalt.
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If you are not riding a bicycle, but
instead using it to haul cargo, it doesn’t matter if the brakes are shot, the
seat is ripped, the derailer won’t work, the chain is rusted or almost any
other issue. The person cannot sell that
bike to riders, except as a spare part bike, which mostly means it is worth
scrape metal price for the frame and maybe the wheels. Look in garage sales for those $10 types of
bike. That is a lot cheaper than a
backpack. Just make sure the spokes aren’t
busted and the tires have some life left in them.
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You COULD buy racks for the front and
back ( here and here ) but you are spending $60 and then
this goes from a King Bum project to a Gear Queer project. Someone might steal the bike just for the
racks. And they don’t offer a huge
amount of extra space. You would do well
to simply emulate the Victor Charlies and place sacks over the frame ( the
testicle crusher running from seat post to handlebars ). Simple and easy and cheap. I’m not sure what bags to use, other than a
duffle bag ( here
).
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When you look at pictures of those
poor rice eating bastards pushing their bikes through streams, you’ll notice
that they have a stick or pole where the seat used to be, extending the post
three or four feet. The handle bar on
the chainless side also has a bar attached to it, sticking out horizontal away
from the bike. Since the huge bags stick
out so far, they walked alongside, the right hand holding the seat stick and
the left holding that handlebar extension.
Have you ever tried pushing your bike?
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If you aren’t careful, that damn foot
pedal wants to chew up your ankle. You
have to keep the top of the bike leaning toward you to shove that out of the
way. You can’t do that with a heavy load
on the bike. Also, just pushing by one
handlebar, the back of the bike weaves violently. Once after retiring the truck, I had no
choice but to ride one bike and pull the spare bike alongside into the bike
shop. It would have been quicker to walk
it in and then walk myself home. It was
a bitch. You WILL need the extension
posts.
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Continued tomorrow.
( .Y. )
( today's related Amazon link click here )
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