clean underwear for a car wreck

CLEAN UNDERWEAR FOR THE CAR WRECK

I'm sure every mother everywhere always told their kids that they had to wear clean underwear in case they got in a car wreck. How embarrassing would it be for the paramedic to see your skid marked underwear? Or, it could have just been my mother and now I'm all worried I'm the only freak here. Anyway, this is your mother we are talking about, the one who told you that Santa was real, then he wasn't. Isn't it amazing how none of us took away the lesson that those in authority lie to us to further their own agenda?

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Did mom even love us, or was that just hormones and programming? I know, I know, most love is superficial like that. But we cling to it anyway, don't we? Not to be a Debbie Downer, but just think about the screwed up things parents do. They used to tell you you'd go blind from masturbating, so you hurried up and married the first fugly bitch that came along as your hormones were raging. Thanks a butt load, guys! Mom was always pushing soggy nasty vegetables on me, telling me they were good for me somehow.

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As if anything that tastes like green ass is healthy. Even when I'd eat fresh uncooked veggies while toiling in the garden, I'd still be looking at some foul crap floating in a sea of carbs with a few scraps of meat included to keep my bones from snapping for dinner. That is some lifetime psychological crippling crap, yo! Okay, I slightly embellish. Looking back it is mostly just funny stories, like gagging over stewed tomatoes, and even dad ( bound by treaty for unconditional support ) not being able to choke the dish down ( and mom only able to eat a little more out of stubbornness ).

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So, despite the then current trauma, all that was funny in retrospect. But what other crap did they tell you, that you don't even question? Hell, to this day I still worry about skid marks in my skivvies. Not necessarily because of a car accident, but that would be bad because there is only one hospital here and if you ever had to go back that would be mortifying. But, hey, what about a one night stand? I know, odds worse than getting in a car wreck, now, but one day all these spoiled bitches will be losing their jobs and suddenly your fat bald ass is looking a bit sexier.

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And before you say anything, in case you are new here, yes, I know only pain changes programming and if your kid doesn't learn through pain ( humiliation, fear, etc ) they are worse off in life and a parents job is to create short term pain for longer gain. It just interests me as an observer how screwed up the process is, looked at objectively. Interesting, but horrifying at the same time. Now, I'm also wondering if this melded over into other concerns with clothing. I don't fearfully throw a piece of clothing into the hamper after it touches my freshly washed skin for a half day, but I also am conscientious of its state of cleanliness.

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Which is as it should be. If we all are aware of our hygiene and how often to change clothing, that translates over to public health. Personally, I think we went too far prohibiting shamming, not only turning men into faggot marshmallows and women into cursing blobs of fatty goo, but we also now have to live with smelly nasty homeless bitches that are Patient Zero. Now it's okay to import Congolese ( Helllloooo, Ebola! )-well, assuming that isn't an urban legend to stir up Deplorables.

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And of course, finally arriving at the point of this one paragraph subject I skillfully stretched into an entire article, clean clothing being a benefit to survival. We all know by now clean cloths work far better sheltering the body, lack of fat and dirt on the fibers making for better insulation. So, clean clothes make us better functioning social animals, are included in a culture devoted to better public health, and function better. So, seasonal clothes cleaning ( daily/weekly cleaning is not today's topic ).

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You don't want to wash wool too often. They perform better with the natural oils. They are outerwear, anyway. Except socks, but they contain enough other fibers you can wash them regularly. But I still think by the end of the cold season ( about nine months here-not always freezing, but crisp enough mornings and nights ), my wool clothing is really due for a wash. They are not offensive, but they are a tad on the unpleasant side. And I usually cannot wait to clean them. This year we had butt tons of rain, all May, keeping the temps down.

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So I had to wait to the first week of June. Then, everything went into a cold gentle cycle with generic Woolite ( the Dollar Tree should still have a good size bottle-I consider a stockpile of that essential for the apocalypse ), laying on towels on the basement floor to dry. The thing is, I wasn't primarily worried about the stink. I was worried about having clean clothes for the apocalypse. Shades of childhood worry, carried over to my adult fears. Since The End can happen anytime, I actually worry about not having all my clothing Apocalypse Ready.

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That is one of my primary motivators when I get lazy, sick or bored. “The Apocalypse could happen tomorrow”. Great fire under my ass. So, I get anxious over the state of my wool clothing. I hurry up to do my annual washing of my winter coat. And this year, for the first time, I started to fret over my stockpiled underwear and socks. I don't trust the Ornamentals and their love of toxic chemicals ( laced baby food, anyone? ). The ex wife got a pair of $1 sandals one time, wore them immediately and got a nasty foot rash. It took years to clear up.

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So I always soap and water my plastic footwear before using. And I always wash socks and underwear before wearing them. I do NOT want a fungus/rash on my dingus, nor on the feet I need for walking. And yet, what do I have? Stockpiled socks and underwear still in their packages. Why, I'm not sure. I think stockpiled items still in store packages just makes you feel better about your efforts. Or, it is easier to inventory. But regardless, they are NOT helpful as they are. The poison ( to combat moths? ) is still in the fabric, in theory.

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So, it behooves me to open all those packages, wash the items and repackage them. Why I didn't think of this sooner embarrasses me. But there you go. Not a lot of practice for apocalypses around here. Now, what about headgear? Are your hats regularly cleaned? I don't like hats, becoming allergic to the gay looking ones in the military ( and why are ALL military hats so bad? ). I avoided them for twenty years. But moving to the dark side of the moon here, you simply cannot avoid them.

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You are near a mile closer to the sun, and heatstroke happens fast ( not as bad as in the lower desert near Vegas, but you get similar results at lower temps ). If you aren't passing out you are freezing without a hat. I have a floppy brim Oz style hat that is perfect, as I can snap the two sides up while riding my bike and the brim stays in place better while still covering my ears ( baseball caps blow for sun protection, only good for shading your eyes ). For years, I avoided washing it, not wanting to rust the snaps. And being lazy, of course. I finally couldn't stand the cold oily stank on my head and washed it ( then put shortening on the metal occasionally to combat the rust ).

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Like everything else, it is just awareness, then disciplined habit. And having ALL clothing clean at all times is a great habit, the proper way to start the apocalypse ( one less thing to stress about, in a time of great stress ).

( .Y. )

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