Friday, September 8, 2017

pimpin ride


PIMPIN RIDE

Ah, the pimpin ride.  While the rest of you are sitting back in leisurely splendor in climate controlled stupors, desperately hoping the end of the month will never role around since your sheet metal and plastic covered combustion engine payment of $500 is due, along with the $123 insurance, the gas station credit card at $336, and a new bottle of spray and wash since you spilt a Starbucks latte on the upholstery, which almost brings you to a cool one grand a month, but you STILL look condescendingly out your side view at me huffing and puffing along dripping wet from the rain, legs splattered with mud, I flip around your fecal stained attitude and say, screw you one and all ‘cause I don’t have to work for the man for my transportation.  I KNOW you look away slightly guilty and feel like a very small mouse turd right about then, I just can’t prove it since you went by too fast.  Okay, FINE!, you’ll have the last laugh as I’m flattened by a drunk distracted by a cell phone.  Or, will you?  Ha!  Take that you bastard, I was killed in that traffic accident before I got really old and got rectal cancer, unlike you, so who’s laughing now?

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Okay, I know most of you don’t pay that much for a vehicle.  You buy a used hunk of crap and fix it yourself and the insurance is a lot lower since you don’t finance.  But, actually, I’m STILL not envious.  I get my exercise which keeps my back toned which eliminates any problems with my curvature of the spine ( two and a half years in High School wearing that brace, to explain the beginning of my dislike for society ), I get my fresh air and I’m in a town that is relatively safe at short speeds ( knock on wood ).  Eight years and I’ve only had one serious near-incident ( again, spastically hammering on wood as my knuckles crack and bleed, so as not to temp the gods into punishing me for hubris, or passivity, or dropping my guard or assuming, or just because they are bored ).  But mostly I enjoy riding my bike, even in winter when it is ten degrees below zero-that’s Fahrenheit to all you metric weenies- because every turn of the pedals I hear the opening of the Pink Floyd song with the cash registers ringing.  It is financial freedom.  Well, of course, along with no rent, or rent so low it might as well be zero, to be more exact, now.  But even if you are stuck with rent, no car gives you way more options than your fellow workers.  But, I better stop there, in case you all grow even more, impossibly more, envious and jealous and then spiteful.

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Today, rather than try to change your mind to get rid of your rolling turd bucket, I’ll just cover stockpiling parts for bike ownership.  This isn’t JUST for the apocalypse, but that can be applicable.  Mainly, you stockpile because if you are your own mechanic, you need all the parts. At your disposal, not sitting in an Amazon warehouse.  Let me give you an example or two of why this is a good idea.  One, Wal-Mart.  If they are the only store open or the only store selling bike parts, you are screwed.  Today, Wally has an entire store chock a block full of hideously low quality goods.  Almost everything you buy, brand name or not, from liquid oil cans that lack propellant, leaving the oil inside, to the condensed milk that is far less condensed than most other brands, to the shoes that literally NEVER break in, all that and more, NOTHING you buy there is a bargain anymore.  They charge more, for less quality.  It amazes me every time I don’t hear of them filing bankruptcy.  But their bike parts, they were one of the FIRST to go to crap, and by the time I understood this I had wasted a lot of money.  Don’t buy any bike parts from them ( the bike is okay, but you’ll need to immediately replace all moving parts, or real close thereafter ).  Two, duh, mail order takes time.  Be stocked up.

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Okay, three.  This one is a bonus.  Bike shops need to pay rent.  I’m all for supporting your local small business owner, and I did for many years.  I eventually learned how to do my own mechanic work, which allowed me great savings, but I was still buying overpriced parts from him.  He was a nice guy and I try to be nice once a year for good karma.  Then one day he sold me a wheel at 90% above Amazon cost and they thing broke within a month.  Yes, I’m sure it was a lemon.  But from that point on, sorry dude, all my parts came from Amazon.  They are like Wal-Mart USED to be, reasonable prices with middle grade quality.  Not top shelf.  You can find REALLY expensive crap for bikes, and you don’t even have to look hard.  Me, thanks, I’ll take less sexy brand names.  I did have a better brand derailer once, when I foolishly owned a geared bike ( single speed is the only way to go, for your 80/20 rule involving price and the learning curve on mechanics and cargo hauling and hands free braking for attacking dogs or gun battles.  They only suck as you push them up hills ), and for twice the price it lasted fifty percent longer.  Why did I bother?  If you still want to support your local bike shop, I’d compromise.  Buy all your deep stocking parts from Amazon and your day to day replacements from him.

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First part to buy is Gorilla Tape.  That will keep your handle bar grips from cracking and your seat from ripping.  I’ve been warming a seat wrapped in tape for the last two years and have yet to replace the seat.  Seriously, the vinyl they use is crap, and even expensive bike store grips break and tear soon.  Okay, we speak here of a 26 inch single speed pedal brake cruiser.  Here are all other parts. 

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Crank Arm 24 TPI 6 ½ .  This is your rod of metal both pedals attach to.  You need another one.  You’d think as long as you get rust away this would last forever.  And it might, I don’t know.  I do know I was standing on my pedal going up a hill and my pedal sheared off, leaving a piece of metal in the crank arm threaded hole ( this after I religiously oiled the pedal bolts to avoid rust.  Well, the water dripped INSIDE the hole ).  Not having any idea how to get it out, not being a tool man taylor, I had to pedal seven miles to the bike shop on my back up bike pulling on my main bike the whole way as it wobbled and crashed into my ankle and leg, pay to get the sheared off piece removed, then repeat the whole thing over again.  It only sucked less than walking the whole way.  You never know why or when a part might break.  Have a replacement.  And obviously, have another pair of pedals.  The crank is around $15, pedals about $10 or less. 

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Next is the Chain Ring.  This is the circle with teeth that sits between the pedals, which the crank arm runs through.  This is the wheel that the chain sits on and is rotated by.  All these metal teeth come new with flat tips.  You keep using the thing until the teeth become sharp and pointed.  I’ve only needed to replace once, after about four or five years.  Call it a good twelve thousand miles or so.  For $7 or so, why not have a couple of spares?

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When I replace the chain ring, I also replace the Bottom Bracket Set.  These are all those pesky ball bearings inside and the sheet metal brackets that hold the crank arm to the frame.  You should have multiples of these, just in case you lose the bearings on their yearly greasing, then you always have spares from when you changed the set.  I don’t know if you can size them and buy the balls separately-again, who am I?  Tim Taylor?  I don’t even know if they would last a lot longer.  It just seemed smart to replace with everything else.  Another few bucks.  One new spare and I keep the old changed out set as another spare.

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The yearly greasing of the bearings.  Ah, what fun and joy.  Now, I’m not commuting to the BPOD five days a week like I used to.  That was putting 3k miles on the bike a year.  Now it is more like 1k if that.  But regardless, once a year seemed fine either way.  I use that auto store thick axle grease, the black gunk that comes in what looks like a old peanut can.  $5 each and I always have one open and two unopened.  It takes a few years to use one can. 

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The chain I recommend is the Ventura 112 Link Chain For Single Speeds By KMC.  Made in Germany, and it seems rather indestructible, ALMOST replacing my lost faith in Kraut quality.  I’ve been riding on one chain on average at least as long as the chain ring lasts, a good ten thousand miles on up.  Regardless, I own a minimum of two sets for back-up and keep all my old links.  At $8 a set, it is foolish not to own several stockpiled.  For oil on your chain, I’ve heard automatic transmission fluid is best, but I just use light weight motor oil as it is what I keep for all my oil needs.  Mainly stopping rust on anything metal.  I’m sure it is less than optimal, but that will also be my gun oil after the apocalypse, when the real gun oil is gone.  One quart at $3 lasts me years of oiling the chain, and I own lots of quarts.

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For tires, I’ve had good luck with Kenda Cruiser Wire Bead Bike Tire 26x2.125.  They go from $18-$20 each.  I always have two on hand, even though I should carry more new ones.  I keep all the old as not all of them had rubber separation but just a hole poked in them.  Rather than ride them until they separate I just replaced them.  This is my weak link right here.  I might have a dozen used ones but only two new.  They do last for a minimum of around five thousand miles, the front tire lasting far longer than the rear ( which takes the majority of the weight ), as long as they are not punctured by anything too large.

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For inner tubes, I have a dozen regular, but those are strictly for the collapse.  I also have a back stock of a half dozen Green Slime tubes.  The regular were $5 each, and the Slimes are only $7, so I’d only recommend the Slimes.  When I use one I replace it shortly thereafter, sometimes needing more than one to get free shipping, but I always keep a half dozen.  These would last as long as the tires, but you never can tell when you’ll get a puncture.  I have one of those strips that go in the tire in front of the tube, and those keep the goatheads from causing damage, but the Slime won’t really work well on anything much wider than those little dried prickly ball plants.  “Up to a X wide nail protection” my ass.  Still, they work better than plain tubes.  I also keep all old tubes and will get around to cutting up one for patches and repairing the rest with those and a bottle of Rubber Cement I store, which about triples my slime tube stockpile.

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For wheels, go with Wheel Master brand. 

Front Bike Wheel 26x1.75/2.125 36H 5/16th

KT 305 Coaster Brake Rear Wheel 26x1.75/2.125 14 g

The rear is $40 and the front $11.  At the bike shop the rear wheel is $55 to $60.  I have one new one of each, with three used rear and a used front.  The used ones are good for about another 1k miles on the rears and a LOT more on the front.  The new ones were getting 4k miles before I busted a spoke, on 6 miles of rutted dirt road daily.  So I began to change them yearly at the 3k mark.  I don’t know how long they would go if you changed the spoke, or how long the thing would last on smooth pavement.  I know the front goes years and years-almost as good as the Chain Ring.  I’m a bit behind on stocking these wheels, as they were not available cheap for a time ( the price went up for about a year before settling back down ).  I’d say a goal of three rear and one front as back-up stockpiling.

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And that should about do it.  That should keep your pimpin ride pimpin hard for a long time and past the apocalypse.  A lot is guesswork, granted.  You can’t REALLY have too many of most, but you do need to be able to afford so many parts on your budget.  Hope that helps you plan yours.

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26 comments:

  1. I find that the combo of myself and any cargo at all is just too heavy for a bike that goes over any bumps at all. At least, any standard bike. every single time I hit a bump with cargo I have to replace at least the back tube, if not the tube and wheel entire. After doing some research I found out that the # of spokes on a wheel ties into how much weight it can handle, and that the standard number of spokes on a rear wheel has been slowly declining since at least the 60s. If you want a sturdy bike BUY a sturdy bike and get it with wheels designed to handle a lot of weight - you are going to want to haul canned goods and water as things get harder to handle.

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    1. I've never had an issue, with me at 200 lbs. I imagine its because I have the beach cruiser rather than a crap Wally "mountain bike".

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    2. I had a beach cruiser too (not wally world), but me +6 gallons (@50lbs) water, a heavy-ish backpack (@25lbs) a decent clip, and a MINOR pavement inconsistency (not even a pot hole just a bit of an edge down) and I ended up walking home. swapping tubes didn't work, the replacement just went flat too; I had to swap out the wheel entire, then it happened AGAIN with no water on the bike with the new wheel. Admittedly I am heavier than you by a bit, but still just under the @275lbs the bikes are supposed to be rated at. Now I am in the market for one of the really sturdy bikes like a workmans bike or even a trike (my spouse gets groceries on their trike and never has an issue with tires - I think that extra wheel makes all the difference).

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    3. Hmmm, I wonder how the cargo bikes down in South America handle the weight? I had heard the bikes are more like 250 lbs rated. So, my weight and cargo are right at the max.

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  2. I think I'll keep my Ford.

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    1. Nothing wrong with that-but keep in mind what I've said before. A sudden gas price hike, unemployment surge or oil disruption and bikes will disappear from the stores, as well as all parts. If you think you'll need it then, get it now.

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    2. Know how to drop the engine and transmission out and convert it to a cart/wagon (and have the tools to do so) and it is a possible future alternative. of course what power source you get to move the cart with- that might be a whole other story...

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  3. When I was a kid bikes were expensive. You had your Schwinn’s, your Columbia’s, etc. The cheap bikes I want to say were the Huffy’s. I remember that my cousin sold me his 3 speed Columbia (Column shifter, banana seat, sissy bar) for $125, which seemed expensive for a used bike at the time. In retrospect, I think that little faggot probably stuck it to me, the way his butt buddies did to him. Though he probably didn’t rip me off too badly, because as I said, bikes were of better quality, hence, higher priced back then.

    My brother had one of those Mongoose BMX bikes. Those things were built tough (see link below). I see they still make them, but you just know that the quality has had to have gone down considerably.

    Maybe you’re just better off getting a vintage bike off of Ebay or the such? We rode the hell out of our bikes as kids and I don’t recall ever having to replace so many parts?

    https://www.walmart.com/ip/20-Boys-Mongoose-Rebel-Freestyle-Bike/13398143

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    1. I think bikes back then weren't more expensive because of quality but just because they were made domestically. Quality went to crap in the 70's, although nothing like today.

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  4. Bikes are fine if they have an engine. Had a college roommate who got through 4 years with a $300 Honda 350cc. Sucked for him during Winter and when it rained, but he did it. And the misery time is much shorter when you have a throttle to hit.

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    1. True, and it is much easier to push a broken down 2 wheel scooter than to push a 4 wheeled massive Pickup truck that is broken down. And the scooter is probably easier to work on most of the time.

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    2. Once we are at South American levels, a motor scooter is the new SUV.

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    3. Any thoughts on those little 2 stroke 80cc chinese engines they sell for regular bikes? You can find the kits selling for about 100 on Amazon, bolt them on the bike, and they're ready to go.

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    4. A bicycle with an add on motor is probably a good compromise pre-collapse, especially if you’re living a ways outside of town (as you should be). Post collapse you still have a bike to use, long after the motor goes. At that point you won’t be commuting anymore anyways.

      I would have suggested a moped, since they have street lights, and they’re still not a bad way to go. But to my knowledge, no one makes the old 70’s style pedal mopeds anymore, though you can still get them off of Ebay. One thing about them though if I recall correctly, is that they’re kind of a bitch to pedal if you have to.

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    5. Mopeds are fine, but I couldn't imagine pedaling it ten miles down the road. Or even pushing it. I'm sticking with a electric bicycle not because I want the bike after the motor goes but for when it breaks now. And of course the cost savings.

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    6. Urthshu-I'm opting for electric over gasoline. I'm not sure if they are better, but I'd rather have a solar panel fueling me at home than worrying about gas, and just as important I don't want the peace and quiet of the boonies shattered by the high scream of a 2-cycle engine. Actually, with the solar panel and batteries, plus $200 front wheel with motor, I'm sure yours is a lot cheaper.

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    7. Possibly a matter of legality, though. I know in my state electric motors on bikes are completely illegal, while engines below whatever cc's or mph are legal without having to register them or get a motorbike license. Having one on an adult trike is an interesting idea.

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    8. Neither one is the perfect choice, each has good and bad. Like all other equipment.

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  5. i want an adult tricycle.
    any recommendations ?

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    1. If you go to the bike shop, they will be able to recommend who/which. Just be prepared to accept that higher priced American made is NOT all that great quality, even for a bike four times Wal-Mart prices.

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    2. For the types of distances that I’m talking about Jim, I just can’t see electric as being a feasible option, and really, nothing short of an actual motorcycle would seem practical. Elko is a unique area in that you can find land cheap outside of town with few restrictions, and there are also at least some jobs to be had. But where most of us live, there is no such land. Well, there is, but it’s many miles from anything. It works for you because you live in town, and even before, you lived very near town. But you do not want to be anywhere near a town when it all goes sour. You’re actually in a very bad situation living so close to a small city. Now if you were to relocate to the remote parcel, and only needed to come to town on occasion, I would say that the electric option might work out alright for you.

      But I think that a motorcycle is the most realistic compromise for those with a regular job. Following the collapse, you won’t have anywhere that you need to be anyways, so it will all be moot at that point. But you’d better have plenty of food stockpiled.

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    3. Check for community orgs that fix donated bikes up for recycling and giving to poor people. Sometimes you find some excellent bargains, like quality folding bikes for around 50 or adult trikes.

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    4. 759-tru all dat. Actually, even to have a tribe I need to stay closer to town as I did before. The long 15 mile out lot only works when I'm on my own. Great econ collapse spot, less than desirable for a civilization collapse.

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  6. hey jim,
    what about tandem bikes, have you ever checked on them?
    it seams like they would be great for cargo but maybe hard to pedal by one person?
    also buying spare tires and tubes, I wonder how long the shelf life would be on the rubber? jpf

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    1. I discount them, but only because I want standard easy to find parts. Well, kinda easy. It is mostly just mt. bikes out there. I would think the tubes/tires have a good shelf life-it is just a petroleum product, so perhaps akin to plastic?

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  7. What are your thoughts on "fat bikes" with the extra wide tires?

    They seem to be 1 speed and probably need disk brakes to stop well. But my impression is that they handle rough terrain well and they have no suspension so less parts to break.

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