super duper paranoia-article 2 of 2 today

article 2 of 2 today

SUPER DUPER PARANOIA

The inspiration for this article comes from the short story “Only the strong survive” by F.G. Wyllis ( I don’t know if you can find it online, my copy was in Volume 9 of There Will Be War ).  I don’t want to spoil the thing for you ( I generally dislike short fiction as it tends to be mostly gimmicky, but this time it works quite well ), except to say that I don’t think you could ever conceive of a paranoia this pervasive.  It could be that extreme paranoia is natural in the animal kingdom, but with hairless apes I believe our cognitive abilities mostly supersede that more primitive survival skill.  We’ve swapped perceptive paranoia with group skills ( yes, there are plenty of social group animals, and they all retain finely attuned defensive skills.  Animals probably keep an immediate surrounding area paranoia whereas we are much better at group dynamic paranoia.  The chimps might mimic some of this but I can’t believe it comes anywhere close-but that is also probably a human conceit ).

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The Russians, probably more than anyone, have incorporated extreme paranoia into their culture.  It wasn’t just a result of the Soviet régime with its brutal Thought Police, but long prior to that it was a result of battling steppe nomads for many generations.  I don’t think too many ancient primitives with centuries long blood feuds even come close to the Russian pathos.  Of course, I could be way off also.  Nonetheless, extreme paranoia is a very exhausting way to live ones life.  It takes a lot of effort and really disturbs ones sleep on a regular basis.  No wonder most of us choose the other extreme, ignorant bliss.  Of course we all know that those blissfully unaware of the possible dangers about are pathetic losers ( “no offense!” Dumb And Dumber reference ), yet not too many of us seem to be paranoid enough.  Is there a middle ground?  Myself, I practice a “rolling paranoia”.  I get worried about one particular issue, take reasonable steps against it, and then move on.  If I kept worrying about everything I would have gone nuts long ago.  Yet I don’t know if that is a good example of middle ground.  I don’t always sleep great and my heartburn and indigestion seems to be more psychosomatic than geriatric. 

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I could always blame work, management every year being awarded Biggest Moronic Douche Of The Century, so well do they top themselves being dinguses incapable of two dimensional  thought.   Yet I still like most parts of the job such as working outside, with a limited interaction with people and getting paid, albeit ever so poorly, to exercise.  I think any interaction with other people is stressful, so any job bears the same issues.  Dealing with extreme stupidity ( and I don’t even think I’m all that smart, just well read, so that tells you how stupid everyone else is ) can’t be easy for anyone.  Another good reason to be living far away from ghettos, as stupid and uneducated is even worse.  Anyway, while at times I feel I’m too paranoid as my health suffers ( not in a major way, just in a noticeable one ), at other times I review my preps and feel I’m not being paranoid enough.  Why am I living in town?  No, I don’t feel having zero relationships is worth the increased security living in the boonies brings you.  Yes, having a place to retreat to, plus an almost complete duplicate back-up here in town, is a nice security blanket.  But am I doing enough?

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I don’t believe a civilization collapse takes centuries.  Nor do I think they usually happen overnight ( the two most popular choices ).  I don’t think I’m doing enough to prep, yet I refuse to have no life now so I can over prep ( my book on the Six Month Prep is an example of throwing yourself into prepping wholeheartedly, sacrificing everything toward the goal.  But of course, that is a limited time period and with a light always at the end of the tunnel you can easily pull it off.  That is goal orientated, for those with no preps now and things looking hopeless.  For those of us already prepped, going All In just for an increased level of paranoia seems excessive ).  Jeez, I feel like one of my ex-wives, never satisfied and never having a clue as to what I really want.

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I suppose I could explain away my feelings of inadequacy by assuming I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be, and I’m now just feeling rudderless because my near thirty year journey is done.  Does worrying about not being paranoid enough just mean you are a Drama Queen when everything around you is tranquil?  Don’t you hate those kind of people?  Here I am, with bare bones savings for two years of unemployment, a paid off shelter with low property taxes, far more than enough food and arsenal ( well, “enough” if you aren’t Super Paranoid ), in great physical shape for my age, the first real grown up relationship of my life, over five hundred reference books squirreled away yet to be read, and I’m thrashing about still worrying?  What the hell?  Perhaps I’m one of those folks that just can’t not be high strung.  And is Super Paranoid even a “thing”?  When does prudence turn into phobia?  Perhaps it is just best to fall back to our regular mantra of “all things in moderation”.

END

Kind of a short one today.  I’m not too worried as I’ve gone way over enough times last week.  But don’t worry, I NEVER make a habit of shorter articles.  You are welcome.

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