finances for collapse book 6

FINANCES FOR COLLAPSE 6

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note: you all know my unabridged hatred towards Christmas, which has degenerated into nothing more than pure blinded greedy panic.  Not just greed for gifts and profit, but worse-an almost herd panic and bolting which is embarrassing and ensnared me in its grasp.  Yet, this year has seen a slight decrease in the increase in the worst effects, so I am grateful and hereby feeling slightly relieved and so magnanimous.  And will gladly wish you all a Merry Christmas.  And Happy Festivus, of course.
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COFFEE AND CABLE

Of the many, many, uncountable near infinity number of reasons that Yuppie Scum Survivalists chap my ass to the point of dangerous blood loss and infection, one of the biggest pet peeves, sources of irritation and reasons for Going Postal levels of hate is that the holy brethren are taught that they can indeed have their cake and eat it too.  Don’t worry, rich dude that can afford to wall off the rats carrying plague as the rest of the cities inhabitants die horrible deaths puking bloody liquefied internal organs down their chins, just pay a reasonable remittance, an “indulgence”, and your foul sins that delivered your wealth will be officially forgotten by the Church leaders.  You can sin and face no consequences other than that vapid hollow feeling in the pit of your testicles when you only have ONE room filled with gold rather than two.  To the worthy, and the worthy are judged by the thickness of their wallets ( just as their wives judge them ), no deprivation  is necessary in their lives past the point of human sacrifices on the alter of Mammon.  Once that is accomplished, nary a worry wrinkle shall crease your fine face as your wealth assures your earthly heaven is at hand.

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For the rest of us, the peasants, sacrifice and the inability to satisfy our every whim without hesitation are just normal parts of life.  It used to be called “building character” prior to the mass commercialization of everything which made consumption by debt normal for the 10% who had some mistaken notion that The American Dream included them.  Now we have a couple of generations of Marshmallow Men masquerading as productive citizens.  Not productive as in earning a paycheck but as in justifying the air they breath.  You poor dear, the thought of going without Starbucks ( I don’t care if it is a triple decaf latte or a plain cup of drip, they are pure unbridled unnecessary luxurious indulgence where peacocks and peahens strut and display their superiority ) or 300 channels of cable TV are unbearable to you.  This is their idea of sacrifice?

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All the gurus tell their charges to finance their prepping activities by bravely skipping their retail coffee and cutting the cable.  This windfall of two grand a year supposedly will allow you to buy years of freeze dried foods for the family, finance the purchase of dozens of semi-automatic weapons with corresponding crates of ammunition and move out to a McMansion in the country.  All it does is give these poor clueless bastards the illusion they can sacrifice and persevere through hardship.  After all, they bravely switched to K-Cups coffee and three streaming channels and have now pocketed the difference of-WOW!-a grand a year.  That should buy one third of a mandatory Tactical Tommy Super Ninja FLIR scope. 

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Now, let me explain the last paragraphs.  Yes, I want YOU to feel bad if this described your efforts.  If your idea of prepping is to have extra shells for your shotgun for looters and extra cases of canned goods for a three week power outage, you don’t exactly need to sacrifice all that much to feel prepared.  You can get by with this crap.  If you really think the ass is going to fall out of civilization, not only do you need to actually make a substantial monetary sacrifice, you also need to stop acting like a big pussy and make the mandatory mental transition from pampered prince to prepared peasant.  Sacrificing luxuries ain’t going to cut the mustard.  You need to get rid of the huge expenses, not the petty ones.  Yes, watching every penny will save dollars, but you don’t start out small at the bottom and expect to work your way UP.  You need to start at the top and bottom simultaneously.  For me, getting rid of rent and a car was the way to live so frugally I could prep on almost nothing.  I also never stepped foot in Starbucks ( a fine enough establishment in its own right-they were some of the first to donate to the Food Bank way before it became a profit center to replace lost sales-but it is the epitome of all that is wrong in our culture ) or watched anything other than over the air broadcast TV. 

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I know a lot of you will argue with me about the car part, and that is okay as you have valid points.  I’ve spent my entire life since puberty trying to avoid owning a motor vehicle and have largely done so.  I can avoid the damn things and hence live frugally as a matter of course.  Most of you just got introduced to the concept after a lifetime of hugging and squeezing and making them yours forever and ever ( Bugs Bunny reference ) and your living arrangements reflect that.  The thing about a car, though, is that even if you can’t shake the habit, you can at least downgrade your reliance.  You can buy a clunker and do your own work, use one as a business expense, live out of one, work towards NOT needing one, whatever.  But the rent part?  That is pretty much non-negotiable if you need to drastically cut expenses.  With a car, most of us can start walking if need be.  But if you pay rent, not only is that half your income, it is your worst vulnerability.  If you become unemployed you become homeless.

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Even if you can’t stop paying rent, you can do better than most with just a bit of sacrifice.  Paying rent for a trailer spot is half, if not a third, of an apartment.  Then you have the trailer to move out to your junk land.  Everyone’s situation differs, and one size does not fit all, but the main point is you do NOT fiddle-hump around with tiny savings.  You attack your largest bills and smallest, all across the board, simultaneously.  You sacrifice comfort for savings.  Root up in your vagina and try to find your pair of testicles you’ve been hiding.  If you can’t move into a smaller residence, what makes you think you can handle the lack of central heat after the Apocalypse, along with no refrigeration or 24/7 entertainment?  Practice not being a pussy.

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