WNTBTTA 13

WHAT NOT TO BRING TO THE APOCALYPSE 13 ( post 1 of 2 today )

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note: as you read this, I'm on the way to go visit my folks.  I'll be gone through the weekend, so I won't be able to respond to comments or e-mail.  As this happens once a year, now, I don't expect this to be too much of a hardship.
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Let’s wrap this bad boy up.  The last batch of tools not to bring to the collapse.

22) gardening equipment.  Similar to gardening tools, but such things as boards for raised beds, fencing, watering/irrigation.  That sort of thing.  You don’t need expensive or purpose built equipment for organic, permaculture gardening, but rather a few how-to books and lots of experience ( which is why you need lots of storage calories-for the learning curve ).  The tools and equipment can be jerry-rigged and improvised. 

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23) bicycles are everywhere.  Not the kind of bikes I recommend, for ease of maintenance and fewer spare parts ( and fewer parts are needed when trade stops ), but the ambiguous cheap mountain bike.  Hey, better than nothing.  Now, granted, if the period leading up to the collapse includes a problem with the gasoline supply, your future bikes are going to need a Universal Key ( bolt cutters ) to get to.  If gasoline becomes scarce, 90% of the population is going to be frantically jiggling their rolls of fat up and down the streets on bikes, and it won’t take long before everyone realized even the crappiest bike will be stolen.  So everyone will start locking them up, once again ( let this be an early warning for you-should these events occur, you won’t be able to buy a bike, any spare parts, or locks for months on end as the supply chain is swamped and the JIT inventory system breaks down ).  Just be forewarned.  It also won’t be the worst idea to have tubes at a minimum.  Most chains can be soaked in kerosene to de-rust, then soaked in oil ( thin motor oil works just fine and lasts much longer than other types ), but tubes will be the weakest link.  Those puncture proof strips will keep all the Goat Head plants from giving you flats.  Just stocking the strips and tubes will allow you to keep salvaging bikes for a long time.  Don’t forget the chain de-linker to salvage chains.   You can also stock rubber cement, cut up punctured tubes, and salvage other tubes with those patches, if you don’t even want to bother with stocking the tubes.  So, at a minimum, the puncture proof strips, a de-linking tool and rubber cement.  Even if you just resign yourself to walking everywhere, keeping bikes operational will give you military advantage, as well as portaging. 

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24) wheelbarrows can make everyone’s life easier, but I strongly doubt most people would think to take them if they bugged-out.  Wheelbarrows save your back and muscles, but they also are a gold-plated bitch to carry too much in, as they wobble and tip over.  The two wheeled types might disappear, but not the regular one wheels.

25) fencing materials was just covered.  More for just using in the garden, can also be used just for livestock, as well as military fortifications.  And nobody is going to bother with the work needed to salvage it, not right away.

26) sewing supplies.  Who doesn’t have sewing supplies in their home, if only for emergency surgery?  I’d recommend stocking upholstery thread and leather needles, for far better materials, but chances are the fabric you work with will be cheap and regular thread and needles you salvage will work just fine.

27) leather will eventually be widely used again, once plastic and synthetic materials run out, but until then you shouldn’t need all that much.  Until its return, just salvage from couches, car seats and some found clothing.

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28) furniture isn’t really something folks think to stockpile for the apocalypse, but there are many modifications you’ll realize must be done.  We’ll go into smaller homes, for energy efficiency, making that in our possession obsolete.  And/or, we’ll be expanding the number of folks in our houses ( going back to communal and three generation arrangements ).  Crappy Wal-Mart pressboard furniture will break.  Luckily, furniture will be the last thing salvaged, other than idiots burning treated wood in the winter.

29) Plastic bags.  Everyone wants to stockpile plastic because, well, they won’t make anymore after the apocalypse.  And, it is invaluable for several things such as food safety and storage.  That said, in the last twenty years or so, mainly due to the building of Wal-Marts in any population center over, say, ten thousand people, those plastic grocery bags are everywhere.  I for one save them for small trash can liners and wrap all my meat portions in them ( and they don’t freezer burn, either ), if nothing else.  I can’t believe I’m the only one.  Plastic bags should be everywhere.  Not the super deluxe heavy duty freezer Ziplock, perhaps, but Good Enough bags.

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30&31) plastic sheeting and plastic tarps.  I kind of thought this would be a marginal one.  Any sheet or tarp you find will be beat to crap.  Road hard and put up wet.  Beat like a red headed step-child.  Tore up like a whore on payday.  And yet, thinking on it, what do you need with plastic anyway, for building?  It is temporary and poorly suited.  Whatever sheets or tarps you find are only good for a short period, as they are worn down, and then you can replace with longer lasting material.  So why waste money on the new stuff?  The sun and wind will ruin it anyway. 

32) last up, we have camping equipment.  Camping, as a survival strategy, blows monkey testicles.  Those that attempt it will die quick enough.  And they won’t go far from the road, as is peoples wont.  You’ll have plenty to pick from to pick up.  Tents for military patrols, water filters ( the Sawyer filter, good for tens of thousands of gallons-and only $20!!!!-is now at Wally in the camping section.  I’d prefer you buy through my Amazon links, but everyone should have at least one of these.  They are too useful and too cheap not to ), sturdy boots, none of it helps too much in the wild foraging, but works well for folks provisioned at a base camp.  And you can help yourself to it, soon enough.  Most likely, after about three weeks.  The freeze dried foods ran out the first two days, and they eventually got weak enough to die.  Silly buggers.

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And there we have it-you can now focus on the bare basics, now that you understand how easy it is to get all the other crap you are told you must have.  Another hearty thanks to the minion who helped with the idea conception and the second half list.

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