GRAPE STOMPING
*note: E.M. Joe, got your snail mail donation of mega generous proportions. Many thanks!
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Don’t you just love
synchronicity? Okay, it probably has
more to do with the song by The Police than the actual concept itself, but you
can still appreciate when it happens. I’m
on the flip side of disc three in the Survivors TV series ( the original, not
the remake that took its cue from a crackhead Muslim feminist, so bad I couldn’t
watch it for free ) on the episode about a witch. Not their finest work, but the Green Mountain
Dude says the shows at the end are the best ( go to his web site to see the
links to the free episodes on YouTube.
Yes, my web site that you are all supposed to know about in case I ever
lose this Blog page to censorship ).
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The one great moment in
the episode ( I believe I’m remembering the right one-if not please forgive me
as I shan’t be firing up the DVD player just now to confirm this ) was the
beginning where one minor character is doing her laundry in the tub. Not by hand, not with a washboard. By standing in the tub and walking in
place. Now the synchronicity part. Just days later I’m reading a random webpage
that mentions “the grape stomping technique of washing your clothes”. Now, I know I’m probably wrong and it is just
a trick of memory, but I could have sworn I’d never come across this technique
before in my life and suddenly here are two completely separate unrelated
citations.
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Surely you’ve seen on film
folks stomping grapes for wine making?
They jump in a huge vat and walk around lifting their step high every
time, stomping the grapes into mush. Now
I guess they do the same, or at least DID the same with clothes to wash
them. Obviously, you’d need a steady
wall or rack to grab hold on to while doing this. Not just because you could slip in the tub
but because the clothes underneath could trip you. And you would need at least warmish water
because standing in cold water in the winter would be a poor idea ( even inside
).
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Soap and agitation are
what you need to wash clothes. A lot of
the ways to provide agitation are a VERY high calorie consumption method and
NOT recommended. Now, granted, in old
timey days there were a lot of methods that did use an unduly large number of
calories. This was not because folks
were stupid, it was that the local natural materials at hand were free and so
utilized. Trade used to be very expensive
and not something the poor could afford outside the immediate area in limited
amounts. Perhaps a metal tool was much
quicker and easier to use, but if you didn’t have money, you used an organic
material you had to keep replacing.
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In case you were wondering
how we got the natives to kill each other for us, it was because we had metal
they wanted. It was a far superior tool
compared to what they used. The European
peasant that did without metal in many instances was divorcing himself from
that kind of disadvantageous relationship the Indians had with the
settlers. Yes, perhaps taking your
clothes and beating them against a rock in the creek was a lot of work. You just ate more food ( and, it should be
noted, had more babies. Which aren’t
JUST about your retirement, but also about young able bodied labor to help you
on the farm as you prematurely aged ).
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Having a metal tub to
stomp your clothes in would have used far less labor. But metal tubs were costly and then rusted
out, necessitating a replacement which took more money you didn’t have. The cast iron kettle you used to heat water
on the wood stove was a one time investment that lasted generations. A wash tub was too “disposable”. If you have a porcelain coated cast iron
bathtub, that might just be the ticket, a secondary use being to wash clothes
after you wash yourself ( the weekly bath followed by the weekly wash ). But that is only feasible in water and wood
rich areas.
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The Grape Stomping clothes
washing method is primarily an idea for washing clothes for those that don’t
want to buy any extra equipment. But it
does require warm water and extra water.
You can’t just fill up the bathtub with an inch of water to do this (
which might work for bathing, in a modified Whores Bath with washcloth ). And please keep in mind that clothes washing
with any method using your upper body muscles is retarded. Leg muscles are far stronger than arm
muscles. So forget the “toilet plunger
in a bucket” or similar methods. Use
your legs, damn you!
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My idea has always been
the enclosed bucket on a rocking chair.
As far as I’m aware, this was an idea original to me, and I’m proud
enough of this rare insight that I must remind you of this fact every time I
bring up off-grid clothes washing. Strap
the bucket down and sit on something behind the rocker, pushing on the chair as
you read or otherwise occupy yourself.
Very little effort, and it has the added benefit of not needing warm
water if it isn’t available. You don’t
even need a real old fashion rocking chair.
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I have quite the
collection going on “semi-rocking chairs”.
I have three wooden rocking stools ( no backing ) and a strange aluminum
rocking chair that folds up like a lawn chair ( but the slats are not the
cheesy strips the lawn chairs use, they are solid ). That one should last a lifetime. All were from the thrift store and cost zero
to nominal amounts. I think I paid $3
for the folder. In an area lacking much
wood for fires, I can wash my clothes with little calories and no fuel. Clean clothes are important for two very
important reasons. First, it cuts back
on vermin such as bedbugs ( I also stock bags of diatomaceous earth for that
). And second, clean clothes actually
keep you warmer. Something about the
fibers being fluffier without grease and dirt flattening them ( obviously, I’m
not recalling exactly ).
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But if you don’t have
access to an affordable rocking chair, but do have plenty of water and fuel,
the grape stomping method is a great way to correctly ( with your legs! If I
see any minions using a washboard I‘ll beat them with it ) wash your cloths
with no or little cost.
END ( today's related link https://amzn.to/2JS45m8 )
* By the by, all my writing is copyrighted. For the obtuse out there